Jim Gaffigan Quotes

We are all a little weird. And we like to think that there is always someone weirder. I mean, I am sure some of you are looking at me and thinking, “Well, at least I am not as weird as you,” and I am thinking, “Well, at least I am not as weird as the people in the loony bin,” and the people in the loony bin are thinking, “Well, at least I am an orange”.

Jim Gaffigan

• People
• Thinking
• Mean

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Quotes to Explore

• What is feminism? Simply the belief that women should be as free as men, however nuts, dim, deluded, badly dressed, fat, receding, lazy, and smug they might be.

  

  Caitlin Moran
  • Men
  • Women
  • Free

• I always tell people I went to the Harvard School of Comedy in front of America.

  

  Vicki Lawrence
  • People
  • School
  • America

• I like silence; I'm a gregarious loner and without the solitude, I lose my gregariousness.

  

  Karen Armstrong
  • Silence
  • Lose
  • Solitude

• I started riding the whole 'fluffy' train, and it's a cute word and socially a lot more acceptable than someone saying is fat or obese. If you call a girl 'fat,' yo, she'll raise hell, but if you say, 'Aw girl, look at you, you're fluffy,' there's almost a sexy appeal to it.

  

  Gabriel Iglesias
  • Girl
  • Sexy
  • Train

• Anytime you do something in this arena, whether it's public records or ethics, it's not like throwing a stone in a quiet pond. It's like throwing a boulder.

  

  Kate Brown
  • Ethics
  • Quiet
  • Stone

• In many films, as many different characters, I've killed many different people.

  

  Daniel Craig
  • People
  • Different
  • Different People

• Forethought we may have, undoubtedly, but not foresight.

  

  Napoleon Bonaparte
  • May
  • Foresight
  • Undoubtedly

• I sound like a chain-smoking drag queen after a hard night of singing 'Tie a Yellow Ribbon'.

  

  T. J. Miller
  • Night
  • Singing
  • Smoking

• Working with Mellencamp, I made new fans, people that may have never heard of me. They may have heard I was related to the Carter Family or Johnny Cash somehow, but what they got was pure Carlene.

  

  Carlene Carter
  • People
  • Family
  • May

• When I first started, I thought I was wack. Lyrically, I thought I was wack. The thing I had over everybody was that I was the realest rapper.

  

  Fat Joe
  • Thought
  • First
  • Rapper

• Who cares about the clouds when we're together? Just sing a song and bring the sunny weather.

  

  Dale Evans
  • Together
  • Song
  • Relationship

• It's actually harder to write a fun song.

  

  Taryn Manning Boomkat
  • Fun
  • Song
  • Write

• The bad guys don't always get punished and the good guys are not necessarily pure.

  

  Sam Waterston
  • Good
  • Bad
  • Always

• With a film, you just don't have time to build sympathy for the character. But I think we're moving away from that in TV. With TV, you have a little more leeway to allow them to rise and fall and rise again and be much more complicated beings.

  

  Rachel McAdams
  • Time
  • Character
  • Fall

• And we have done more in the two and a half years that I've been in here than the previous 43 Presidents to uphold that principle, whether it's ending 'don't ask, don't tell,' making sure that gay and lesbian partners can visit each other in hospitals, making sure that federal benefits can be provided to same-sex couples.

  

  Barack Obama
  • Done
  • Sex
  • Years

• When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old I know that it is.

  

  Oscar Wilde
  • Life
  • Important
  • Money

• I appreciate the constant evolution in refining food, but not in making food gimmicky.

  

  Daniel Boulud
  • Food
  • Appreciate
  • Evolution

• I never met a woman I didn't like. I love 'em all, in their different ways.

  

  B. B. King
  • Different
  • Love
  • Like

• I want to be able to do work where I think it's very forward, but I also want it to exist in a big way and have an effect on a lot of people.

  

  Jack Antonoff Fun.
  • People
  • Work
  • Think

• Ah, pray no mistake, We are not shy; We're very wide awake The Moon and I.

  

  W. S. Gilbert
  • Mistake
  • Moon
  • Shy

• The Arab states don't seem to do a good job of providing for their own people, so I am not sure why they would suddenly develop an ability to help the Palestinians.

  

  Walter Russell Mead
  • People
  • Good
  • Why

• The Earth is not dying-it is being killed. And the people who are killing it have names and addresses.

  

  Utah Phillips
  • People
  • Earth
  • Dying

• We haven't all had the good fortune to be ladies; we haven't all been generals, or poets, or statesmen; but when the toast works down to the babies, we stand on common ground.

  

  Mark Twain
  • Good

• We are all a little weird. And we like to think that there is always someone weirder. I mean, I am sure some of you are looking at me and thinking, “Well, at least I am not as weird as you,” and I am thinking, “Well, at least I am not as weird as the people in the loony bin,” and the people in the loony bin are thinking, “Well, at least I am an orange”.

  

  Jim Gaffigan
  • People
  • Thinking
  • Mean