Jim Gaffigan Quotes

Failing and laughing at your own shortcomings are the hallmarks of a sane parent.

Jim Gaffigan

• Dad
• Parent
• Laughing
• Failing
• Hallmark

• Previous
• Next

Quotes to Explore

• I was deeply uncertain of who I was and who I wanted to be. I really thought I wanted to be a much cooler guy than what I was.

  

  Daniel Ek
  • Guy
  • Thought
  • Uncertain

• It takes more than capital to swing business. You've got to have the A. I. D. degree to get by - Advertising, Initiative, and Dynamics.

  

  Isaac Asimov
  • Business
  • You
  • Advertising

• What Washington needs is adult supervision.

  

  Barack Obama
  • Needs
  • Washington
  • Adult

• When you commit to something and have fun with it, it appreciates you, the gift, and it starts to help you out.

  

  R. Kelly
  • Fun
  • Help
  • Gift

• For the first time I go to La Scala, for each thing, for each rehearsal, my knees were shaking. But the audience was very fine with me.

  

  Ildar Abdrazakov
  • Time
  • Me
  • First

• Like the old Italian saying goes, 'It ain't rocket surgery.'

  

  Nadia Giosia
  • Old
  • Italian
  • Saying

• You know, one of the only times I ever wrote about art was the obituary of Warhol that I did for the Village Voice.

  

  Barbara Kruger
  • Art
  • Know
  • Voice

• I think change needs to be egoless. It's not about my leaving my fingerprints or a legacy. It's more important to be part of a process by rolling up your sleeves, being on the ground, initiating projects, starting campaigns - you know, building stuff.

  

  Queen Rania of Jordan
  • Up
  • Important
  • Change

• There are so many figures in our history that did not believe they could make a change, and they did.

  

  Malala Yousafzai
  • Believe
  • History
  • Change

• If I'm elected president, we will repeal every word of Obamacare.

  

  Ted Cruz
  • President
  • Word
  • Will

• I used to be affected by criticism thrown at me, and I would get really down. But I got to a point where I just decided to go for it, no matter what negativity is around you.

  

  Yuna
  • Me
  • Criticism
  • Down

• Americans should never believe, even incorrectly, that one's criminal activity will go unpunished simply because it was committed on behalf of a corporation.

  

  Sally Yates
  • Believe
  • Never
  • Will

• When mom and dad were at the height of their careers, and things were super-crazy, and they couldn't leave their houses, there wasn't social media. It was all about autographs. Now, everyone's the press. I feel fame is perforated: it can be glorious, but it can completely destroy a human, too.

  

  Dakota Johnson
  • Dad
  • Mom
  • Crazy

• I remember clearly, when I was about 4, my Aunt Linda said, 'I'm not babysitting him no more. He's bad.' It was one of the first conscious shifts I remember making. I decided, 'I'm going to be good now.'

  

  Mahershala Ali
  • Good
  • Remember
  • Bad

• Our environment, the world in which we live and work, is a mirror of our attitudes and expectations.

  

  Earl Nightingale
  • World
  • Work
  • Live

• Food Stamp recipients didn't cause the financial crisis; recklessness on Wall Street did.

  

  Barack Obama
  • Food
  • Financial
  • Wall

• I accept challenges, I have always done that in writing.

  

  Jack Prelutsky
  • Writing
  • Done
  • Challenges

• The soul is placed in the body like a rough diamond, and must be polished, or the luster of it will never appear.

  

  Daniel Defoe
  • Soul
  • Body
  • Diamond

• There were a lot of points where I would start to come out, face stern resistance and mockery from people I thought were my friends, and then reverse course. I was scared. I don't think I ever said, 'I'm gay,' or, 'I'm trans.' It was more like, 'Is it normal for guys to crossdress a lot?'

  

  Chelsea Manning
  • People
  • Friends
  • Gay

• Second base is anything but magic. If it's anything at all, it's speed, sureness with your hands and lots of hard work.

  

  Nellie Fox
  • Magic
  • Hands
  • Speed

• Scarlett: You should die of shame to leave me here alone and helpless. Rhett: You helpless? (laughs) Heaven help the Yankees if they capture you.

  

  Vivien Leigh
  • Heaven
  • Helping
  • Laughing

• The ratings system is so bogus and people know it. Fewer and fewer people care. The ratings board has sort of exposed itself. But my problem is, as a parent, there's this area of film that my daughters want to see. They're not my kind of films, I don't want to go see them, but I really want to know whether my daughters can see them or not. The morality of what the ratings board is doing now escapes me. I don't get it.

  

  William H. Macy
  • People
  • Kind
  • Problem

• I'll post a video, and it might get 10,000 comments, and I'll scroll through and they'll all be lovely and nice - but then they'll be one saying, 'I hate you; I'm unsubscribing' and that's the one that sticks out and stays on your mind all day.

  

  Zoe Sugg
  • Mind
  • Hate
  • Nice

• Failing and laughing at your own shortcomings are the hallmarks of a sane parent.

  

  Jim Gaffigan
  • Dad
  • Parent
  • Laughing