Jim Gaffigan Quotes

They always give you three ketchup packets. When you go back up and ask for more, the guy handing them out always treats you like you're taking from his personal stash. "Looks like my kids aren't having ketchup tonight."

Jim Gaffigan

• Kids
• Guy
• Giving
• Funny
• Comedy

• Previous
• Next

Quotes to Explore

• A person that says, 'Losing is not difficult,' I don't even want to be around that person. And obviously, that person has never won anything relevant in their life.

  

  Cam Newton
  • Life
  • Want
  • Losing

• I was a tomboy.

  

  Rachel Weisz
  • Tomboy

• When I do retire, I will miss the trips with the team, the jokes with my teammates, the habits: having breakfast with them, playing with them, all the little things.

  

  Francesco Totti
  • Team
  • Breakfast
  • Habits

• For the first time I go to La Scala, for each thing, for each rehearsal, my knees were shaking. But the audience was very fine with me.

  

  Ildar Abdrazakov
  • Time
  • Me
  • First

• Basically, I have a gift as an actress, and I want to present the sophisticated side of me as an actress and a person.

  

  Bai Ling
  • Me
  • Present
  • Gift

• It always annoys me when stars grumble about fans coming up to them in the street. I love it. These young stars today with all their airs and graces, they need to remember it is an honour and a privilege to make money from acting. How hard is it?

  

  Larry Hagman
  • Remember
  • Stars
  • Privilege

• We are building technology to keep up with what's happening in the world. It's transforming the way people are working. We're bringing the enterprise to the world.

  

  Parker Harris
  • People
  • Up
  • World

• I just want to try writing for other people 'cause it's quite exciting.

  

  Flume
  • People
  • Writing
  • Want

• Whether you call my heart affectionate, or you call it womanish: I confess, that to my misfortune, it is soft.

  

  Ovid
  • Heart
  • You
  • Soft

• When we're back home, I feel pretty domesticated.

  

  Washed Out
  • Home
  • Pretty
  • Feel

• I'm an actor. That's what I'm gifted at. It's what makes me breathe.

  

  Samantha Morton
  • Me
  • Actor
  • Breathe

• Just keep taking chances and having fun.

  

  Garth Brooks
  • Fun
  • Chance
  • Having Fun

• A bicycle has transformed my experience of London.

  

  Iain Glen
  • Experience
  • London
  • Bicycle

• I was about nine years old when a teacher administered my IQ test. Unfortunately, as I was nine, I didn't know that I needed to keep the paperwork for future reference.

  

  Walter O'Brien
  • Future
  • Teacher
  • Test

• You can become a winner only if you are willing to walk over the edge.

  

  Damon Runyon
  • Walk
  • Winner
  • Edge

• I'm just going to be myself; there's no reason for me to try and go out there and put a certain facade on or emphasize, 'Hey, I'm this. You need to believe it.' I just want to be the best that I can be, and if people like me, that's great, and if they don't, they don't.

  

  Paige VanZant
  • People
  • Great
  • Believe

• In terms of script, Bollywood should learn from South Indian scripts. Not talking about the fights and action, I am talking about the drama bit.

  

  Ram Charan
  • Action
  • Drama
  • Scripts

• The power lies with content creators now, but if you can't reach people, there's no point.

  

  Dana Brunetti
  • People
  • Power
  • Lies

• As the Tories know, the problem with setting yourself up as a shining example for others to follow is that when you get caught out, that proverbial substance really hits the fan.

  

  Jo Brand
  • Up

• I told you guys... don't stop believing.

  

  Sebastian Vettel
  • Believe
  • Guy

• They always give you three ketchup packets. When you go back up and ask for more, the guy handing them out always treats you like you're taking from his personal stash. "Looks like my kids aren't having ketchup tonight."

  

  Jim Gaffigan
  • Kids
  • Guy
  • Giving