Jim Gaffigan Quotes

Wouldn't it have been weird to go to high school with the Pope? You know, somebody did, someone's sitting at home, watching TV in Poland, they see the Pope, they think, "That guy was a jerk! He was so mean to me and now he's Pope? I got a swirly from the Pope!"

Jim Gaffigan

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Quotes to Explore

• I get up, go and get a coffee, and go do the crossword - I'm loyal to one particular paper, the 'Guardian' - and that's my idea of a perfect morning.

  

  Laura Marling
  • Up
  • Perfect
  • Morning

• I love being the mayor. I want to be the mayor forever.

  

  Ed Koch
  • Love
  • Want
  • Forever

• It was just such a demeaning thing to do, being in silent movies. They'd call you up and tell you, 'Hey, jump off this building!' and they'd give you a hundred bucks, and you'd do it.

  

  Parker Posey
  • Up
  • Movies
  • Building

• I tramped. When I was on the freight trains, I wasn't looking for work. I was looking to go from place to place without paying any money.

  

  Utah Phillips
  • Work
  • Money
  • Looking

• Self-doubt kills talent.

  

  Edie McClurg
  • Doubt
  • Talent
  • Self-Doubt

• Mind is everything. Muscle - pieces of rubber. All that I am, I am because of my mind.

  

  Paavo Nurmi
  • Mind
  • Being
  • Muscle

• You just remember back when you were watching as a kid and going, 'Man, Sting's so cool,' and now I'm wrestling the guy. It's breathtaking.

  

  A.J. Styles
  • Remember
  • Guy
  • Man

• The bad reviews get to me, believe me.

  

  Daniel Craig
  • Believe
  • Bad
  • Me

• I have had an experience which might perhaps be described as being shot down. At the same time, I call shot down only when one falls down. Today I got into trouble but I escaped with a whole skin.

  

  Manfred von Richthofen
  • Time
  • Experience
  • Today

• I started classes and it wasn't because I was like, 'I want to be an actor!' - I was really interested in the theory of what acting can be and what it's about. It's all about living in the moment and kind of being present, which is something that at that time in my life I really wanted to explore.

  

  Caity Lotz
  • Life
  • Time
  • Present

• Happiness is knowing and appreciating what you've got. I am very, very, very grateful for what, to me, is dead easy.

  

  Maeve Binchy
  • Happiness
  • Knowing
  • Grateful

• My friend Jerry Falwell was the one who said it, and he was a guest on my show, and it's hard to take the blame for everybody who shows up on your show.

  

  Pat Robertson
  • Up
  • Friend
  • Said

• Bears are very nice, as long as you are nice to them.

  

  Karl Lagerfeld
  • Long
  • You
  • Nice

• The beautiful thing about the NFL season is to see a team come together after they get to know each other in the spring and summer. You then go through adversity together and see how you respond. The teams that can respond in a positive way are the teams that are going to be there in the end.

  

  Aaron Rodgers
  • Together
  • Beautiful
  • Team

• A bicycle has transformed my experience of London.

  

  Iain Glen
  • Experience
  • London
  • Bicycle

• I know the pressures of being the daughter of a great actress. But it's inspiring. You learn so much that other people don't get to learn until later on. My father being a director, I learnt a real work ethic.

  

  Natasha Richardson
  • People
  • Work
  • Great

• To people who traditionally charge $10,000 for a 3D animating app, we say you should be free-to-play and generate a revenue stream. Think of a 3D modeling package almost like an RPG.

  

  Gabe Newell
  • People
  • Think
  • Free

• I don't think I've ever been chatted up, and I don't think I've ever chatted anyone up. The Fresh Prince has the best chat-up lines.

  

  Laura Mvula
  • Up
  • Think
  • Best

• What's funny is that an old Web site of mine just had one fake bio, and everyone went crazy for it. So when I made the new Web site, I thought, 'I just need to make this one even more absurd.'

  

  Jarrett J. Krosoczka
  • Funny
  • Crazy
  • Fake

• Congress has a responsibility to make sure our taxpayer dollars are being spent responsibly and effectively, and at the same time, that our men and women in uniform have everything they need to carry out the War on Terror.

  

  Larry Craig
  • Time
  • Men
  • Women

• If you were just intent on killing people you could do better with a bomb made of agricultural fertiliser.

  

  Ian Hacking
  • People
  • You
  • Better

• One of the tragedies of modern times is that people have come to believe that something said by someone in the past, perhaps for illustrative or provocation purposes, actually represents that person's beliefs at the time.

  

  Idries Shah
  • People
  • Time
  • Believe

• I am who I am, you are who you are, and everything else is a perception based on acceptance, deception, smoke, mirrors, and so on. It's what's between us that seems to justify our accidental identities.

  

  Jason Mraz
  • Perception
  • Acceptance
  • Deception

• Wouldn't it have been weird to go to high school with the Pope? You know, somebody did, someone's sitting at home, watching TV in Poland, they see the Pope, they think, "That guy was a jerk! He was so mean to me and now he's Pope? I got a swirly from the Pope!"

  

  Jim Gaffigan
  • School
  • Home
  • Funny