Jim Gaffigan Quotes

I'm an eccentric, silly, observational guy, but I'm not gonna frighten off social conservatives.

Jim Gaffigan

• Guy
• Silly

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Quotes to Explore

• What I felt was, if you spend your life just writing fiction, you are going to falsify your material. And the fictional form was going to force you to do things with the material, to dramatize it in a certain way. I thought nonfiction gave one a chance to explore the world, the other world, the world that one didn't know fully.

  

  V. S. Naipaul
  • Life
  • World
  • Writing

• Let's talk about Connie Britton, who I love. I don't know of a person who doesn't love her, I don't know a man or woman who doesn't have a crush on her, she's the most fabulous person in the entire world, and she's such an incredible actress, and so sweet, and I love her.

  

  Maggie Carey
  • World
  • Know
  • Person

• I don't think healthcare's a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.

  

  Adam Carolla
  • Work
  • Health
  • Insurance

• What is sure is that the satellite view of our world and its evolution is now a common reality.

  

  Olivier Theyskens
  • World
  • Reality
  • Evolution

• I love cooking and baking.

  

  Rachel Bilson
  • Love
  • Cooking
  • Baking

• Science is not everything, but science is very beautiful.

  

  J. Robert Oppenheimer
  • Beautiful
  • Science
  • Very

• Being born in a duck yard does not matter, if only you are hatched from a swan's egg.

  

  Hans Christian Andersen
  • Matter
  • Egg
  • Duck

• Simplicity is prerequisite for reliability.

  

  Edsger Dijkstra
  • Simplicity
  • Reliability

• I live with myself. I wake up with myself, I eat, and I take a dump with myself. I don't see anything special there. I do all the same things other human beings and creatures do. I don't see any need to be telling the data of the day of this particular human being by posting it on online. It's not interesting to me.

  

  Damien Rice
  • Up
  • Live
  • Interesting

• The game of basketball is one thing, but the image of the game is another thing.

  

  Earl Monroe
  • Game
  • Basketball
  • Image

• I have been in more classrooms than any legislator will ever walk into in their lives, and I see wonderful, caring, dedicated teaching out there.

  

  Patricia Polacco
  • Will
  • Walk
  • Caring

• Some people rehearse to a point where they're robotic, and they sound like they have memorized their presentation and didn't take it to the next level. Going from sounding memorized and canned to sounding natural is a lot of work.

  

  Nancy Duarte
  • People
  • Work
  • Sound

• Let's create a legal system that can work.

  

  Sam Brownback
  • Work
  • System
  • Legal

• I didn't hang around films. I don't know if I'd ever seen Hitchcock's The Lady Vanishes.

  

  Patricia Highsmith
  • Know
  • Lady
  • Seen

• Each day more coalition MPs in seats outside the South East come out against George Osborne's regional pay cut plans, and Vince Cable now claims they are dead.

  

  Frances O'Grady
  • Day
  • Now
  • Outside

• My college friends call me Karu, which is the worst. Only in our country can we make a short form for a short name. But otherwise, I've never had a pet name all my life. But now, in official meetings, someone will call me KJo. And I'll judge that person in my head. Just call me Karan.

  

  Karan Johar
  • Life
  • Country
  • Friends

• My mom would always play me a lot of late-'50s, late-'60s rock.

  

  G-Eazy
  • Me
  • Play
  • Mom

• I feel like a lot of serious music lives in generalizations - 'Love is a flower,' 'The sky is so dark' - but comedy lives in specifics.

  

  Rachel Bloom
  • Music
  • Comedy
  • Serious

• I have so much to learn when it comes to running. I just don't ever want it to feel like a chore. When I choose to sign up for a race or go out for a run, it's to make myself feel good, and I almost always do.

  

  Summer Sanders
  • Up
  • Good
  • Running

• I am not a comic, I have never told a joke...The comedian's promise is that he will go out there and make you laugh with him...My only promise is that I will try to entertain you as best I can....They say, 'Oh wow, Andy Kaufman, he's a really funny guy.' But I'm not trying to be funny. I just want to play with their heads.'

  

  Andy Kaufman
  • Trying
  • Guy
  • Funny

• If you get 10,000 guys to put their ideal woman into a computer, it still comes out looking like Angelina Jolie.

  

  Sally Phillips
  • You
  • Woman
  • Looking

• My life changed completely. It's crazy now. It's kind of gone from striving and wondering and being confused and being lost to just feeling like the most blessed person in the world - just happy to wake up every day, happy to get on a plane every time. Just couldn't be happier with life, really.

  

  Becky Lynch
  • Life
  • Up
  • Time

• The sound of water escaping from mill dams, etc., willows, old rotten planks, slimy posts, and brickwork, I love such things.

  

  John Constable
  • Water

• I'm an eccentric, silly, observational guy, but I'm not gonna frighten off social conservatives.

  

  Jim Gaffigan
  • Guy
  • Silly