Jim Gaffigan Quotes

Oh great, socks. You know I'm dying for your sins right? Yeah, but thanks for the socks! They'll go great with my sandals. What am I, German?

Jim Gaffigan

• Dying
• Christmas
• Sin
• Thanks

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Quotes to Explore

• It's hard to find an emblem of cultural, national pride that burns as bright as Israel's success in classical music.

  

  Zubin Mehta
  • Music
  • Success
  • Pride

• You know, my family stood for something that they believed in, and I wasn't about to turn my back on them.

  

  Rafael Palmeiro
  • Family
  • You
  • Know

• So many boys and girls talk the same way, listen to the same music, look the same. If I'm out, I'll notice the person who looks different before I notice the person who's, 'really hot.'

  

  Jack Antonoff Fun.
  • Music
  • Different
  • Look

• Second place is just the first place loser.

  

  Dale Earnhardt
  • Place
  • Loser
  • Second Place

• It may be a cold, clammy thing to say, but those that treat friendship the same as any other selfishness seem to get the most out of it.

  

  E. W. Howe
  • May
  • Cold
  • Friendship

• My mom and stepdad were strict. I couldn't date; I couldn't go out. And I was a kid who was never good at just taking no for an answer. I needed to understand why. And sometimes they weren't interested in explaining.

  

  Mahershala Ali
  • Good
  • Why
  • Mom

• As for swimming, I'm now in the pool 5 days a week from 8 to 10 a.m. And I'm in the gym for an hour and a half, 4 days a week. Two days upper body, two days lower.

  

  Dana Torres
  • Body
  • Week
  • Gym

• Whereas, generally speaking, zinc reacts suitably only with the first members of the alkyl iodides, with magnesium it is possible to use bromides, iodides, and in many cases, chlorides.

  

  Victor Grignard
  • First
  • Possible
  • Speaking

• I'm happy to say that I'm a lesbian in the world. I know there are people who don't want to be called women comedians, but I think it gives a path to the fact that we live in extremely patriarchal times.

  

  Kate Clinton
  • People
  • World
  • Live

• I'll tell you what's helped me my entire life. I look at baseball as a game. It's something where people can go out, enjoy and have fun. Nothing more.

  

  Harry Caray
  • People
  • Life
  • Fun

• My parents told me either I choose badminton, or school has to make the best of me.

  

  Taufik Hidayat
  • School
  • Parents
  • Me

• I had my first concert in front of 80,000 people at the International Soca Monarch Finals.

  

  Rachel Platten
  • People
  • First
  • Concert

• The only time I can't sleep is on a plane, when I am literally keeping it in the air with my brain.

  

  Natalie Massenet
  • Time
  • Sleep
  • Brain

• Scotland's political identity was destroyed, and a huge Scottish emigration to North America followed the brutal Highland clearances. These included every layer of Scottish society, not just the remnants of the defeated clans.

  

  Tariq Ali
  • America
  • Society
  • Political

• In the time I spent with him, Jurgen Klopp was enigmatic, larger than life, and extremely quick-witted. He is quite unique as a football manager in many ways, and that is what makes him so entertaining.

  

  Gary Lineker
  • Life
  • Time
  • Football

• The intensity of being in front of all these incredible musicians and tremendous conductors in these elaborate halls can be overwhelming.

  

  Idina Menzel
  • Being
  • Musicians
  • Intensity

• I used to lie between cool, clean sheets at night after I'd had a bath, after I had washed my hair and scrubbed my knuckles and finger-nails and teeth. Then I could lie quite still in the dark with my face to the window with the trees in it, and talk to God.

  

  Frances Farmer
  • God
  • Night
  • Cool

• Ordinary riches can be stolen; real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you.

  

  Oscar Wilde
  • Soul
  • Riches
  • Precious

• Where educational deprivation exists, it breeds conflict and enables repression.

  

  Wendy Kopp
  • Conflict
  • Where
  • Educational

• Against my better judgment I feel certain that somewhere very near here—the first house down the road, maybe—there's a good poet dying, but also somewhere very near here somebody's having a hilarious pint of pus taken from her lovely young body, and I can't be running back and forth forever between grief and high delight.

  

  J. D. Salinger
  • Good
  • High
  • House

• Sin and death and suffering and war and poverty are not natural—they are the devastating results of our rebellion against God. We long for a return to Paradise—a perfect world, without the corruption of sin, where God walks with us and talks with us in the cool of the day.

  

  Randy Alcorn
  • Death
  • Suffering
  • Sin

• I think all you can ask for is to have a chance at the end of the year. A lot of great cars still have a chance and we've got to earn it every week.

  

  Joe Gibbs
  • Great
  • Chance
  • Expectation

• If your boss gets drunk and offers to photocopy her posterior, do not helpfully suggest pressing reduce 75%.

  

  Scott Adams
  • Boss
  • Drunk
  • Posterior

• Oh great, socks. You know I'm dying for your sins right? Yeah, but thanks for the socks! They'll go great with my sandals. What am I, German?

  

  Jim Gaffigan
  • Dying
  • Christmas
  • Sin