Jim Gaffigan Quotes
If you're a guy over 30 by yourself in the hotel pool, you automatically look like a murderer who's just relaxing after he strangled a family. "Yeah-that dad was a tough one to kill."
Quotes to Explore
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I love playing live, I don't like studios all that much. I need the reaction of the audience.
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I still remember my first Giacometti exhibition, and going back to the museum every day, whenever I could, to look again and again at these long, thin stick figures, so beautiful, so graceful. That, I think, was the moment I became really obsessed by art.
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I doubt if you can have a truly wild party without liquor.
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My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me.
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I think R. Kelly's range is so vast and broad that in order to stimulate himself creatively as an artist, he has to step so, so far outside the box, or else he feels like he's not challenging himself.
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When virtue is lost, benevolence appears, when benevolence is lost right conduct appears, when right conduct is lost, expedience appears. Expediency is the mere shadow of right and truth; it is the beginning of disorder.
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Hungary is, in a word, in a state of WAR against the Hapsburg dynasty, a war of legitimate defence, by which alone it can ever regain independence and freedom.
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I influence people, hopefully on the positive side.
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I like to have something to base a role on.
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Earth's dispossessed are vulnerable targets for extremists: those who teach that global justice is meaningless; that satisfaction can come only in violence, division, and intellectual isolation.
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I just butcher a book. Everything I underline I assume is important to me.
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When a guy tells me I'm cute, it's not something desirable. Cute is more like what you want your pet to be.
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The Amex has a long, often troubled, sometimes glorious history.
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You shouldn't be ashamed of your pain. You have the right to have your pain treated.
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Sometimes I think sportsmanship is a little bit forgotten in place of the individual attention.
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When I am getting ready to reason with a man, I spend one-third of my time thinking about myself and what I am going to say and two-thirds about him and what he is going to say.
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Very often it's really inconvenient - who you fall in love with. You can't really control it.
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John Spratt did a great job of constituent service. When somebody had a problem, he would jump on it. The reason I ran against him was that he was one way in the district and then when he got to Washington, he voted the opposite.
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The right moment wears a full head of hair: when it has been missed, you can't get it back; it's bald in the back of the head and never turns around.
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I never consciously got into comedy. It was sort of one of those things where I was a theater student, I was acting, I was doing comedy, I was doing dramatic stuff, so it's been something that I've always done and enjoyed doing and had an instinct to be relatively good at.
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I went to private school my whole life. Growing up in Los Angeles, you're surrounded by not just Connecticut privilege but, like, your-dad's-a-movie-star privilege.
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Jon Stewart hires people that he thinks are funny. That's it. That's the only requirement.
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I told the students that whatever they did in class was for the wastebasket.
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If you're a guy over 30 by yourself in the hotel pool, you automatically look like a murderer who's just relaxing after he strangled a family. "Yeah-that dad was a tough one to kill."
