Jim Gaffigan Quotes
My kids are so dramatically different, but it's not like I would trade one in or like there's one I would pick over the other ones. I know that sounds like I'm bullshitting. I also have five of them so I barely know them.
Quotes to Explore
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I even have a Harmony Rocket and a Stratocaster with a scalloped neck back in Florida.
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'Hannity' had a a guy on that said, 'I fathered 20 kids by 14 mothers.' That is s cultural issue which has demeaned our society and has caused our society dearly in terms of imprisonment. Who's going to be the fathers to those children? Who's going to pay child support?
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With all the great products that are apparently out there that are undetectable, for me to take something like that... when people take things that now aren't even being tested for, does it make any sense?
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I had a lovely childhood. For family holidays, we went as far as the car could take us - we would drive to Florida, even though it would take three days. I didn't know we didn't have a lot of money because there was always food on the table. I didn't have a lot of stuff, but I did figure skating for a long time, and I always had my skates.
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I'll tell you what's helped me my entire life. I look at baseball as a game. It's something where people can go out, enjoy and have fun. Nothing more.
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I do suspect that this world is hell.
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I like the dark undertow of grime, and it gets me aggressive. You need that aggression.
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Most people, from their second album on, find it much harder to be as spontaneously creative as they were with their first couple of records, and some people only have one thing that they do.
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Racism is always there underneath, but usually it is exploited in these times of economic crisis, and it's hard to find out when one slides into another.
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I hate being asked how I met my husband and very personal questions like that. I don't like that. People are too nosey. Intelligent questions I like, but sometimes people ask such silly, dopey ones.
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The Nobel Peace Prize has always been a joke - albeit a grim one. Alfred Bernhard Nobel famously invented dynamite and felt sorry about it.
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The public needs to know - they need to know as much about atrial fibrillation as they do about cancer and diabetes.
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I had a lousy marriage and I drank too much.
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A revolution is not an event. It's a process. And it takes its time.
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Look good, feel good, play good.
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I would prefer to have a more appealing job. If I could still change careers, I would prefer it. This unfortunate art is made for long beards and ugly faces rather than for a relatively well-endowed woman.
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I sort of understood that when I first started: that you shouldn't repeat a success. Very often you're going to, and maybe the first time you do, it works. And you love it. But then you're trapped.
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A lot of times on tour it's about, 'OK, where am I today? Wow, I'm in Costa Rica. What is their famous dish?' And it's about trying the food, and really experiencing it.
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Sitting at the table doesn't make you a diner. You must be eating some of what's on that plate. Being here in America doesn't make you an American. Being born here in America doesn't make you an American.
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I have a weak stomach. My wife is a doctor, so she finds it funny that I actually pass out when I get my blood drawn. I physically can't stand gore on screen. I can't stand blood and guts. Not for any puritanical/moral high-ground reason. I just don't want to black out.
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A song or an album is never really done. You can work on it forever, but knowing when to call it a day and knowing when to walk away from it is extremely important.
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I belong to a gospel choir. They know I am an atheist but they are very tolerant.
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I think you're attracted to things that are different from yourself in a character because it's more interesting, and you get to play out a fantasy version of yourself.
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My kids are so dramatically different, but it's not like I would trade one in or like there's one I would pick over the other ones. I know that sounds like I'm bullshitting. I also have five of them so I barely know them.
