Jim Gaffigan Quotes
I wish, in some ways, I was the type of comedian who could do something blistering and topical, but I'm the guy who gets stuck in the revolving door and thinks I should write about that.
Quotes to Explore
-
During workouts, I listen to Pandora, and I like the '90s pop stations. 'The Backstreet Boys' is fun!
-
I really do inhabit a system in which words are capable of shaking the entire structure of government, where words can prove mightier than ten military divisions.
-
Usually it is uses of words, not words in themselves, that are properly called vague.
-
As I've traveled around the country, it has surprised me how many times I've heard people in small businesses use that word 'saved.' I believe many small businesses would not have had access to credit and would not have survived without the $50 billion that we were able to put into the market.
-
Looking back, the biggest mistake I made was feeling ashamed of it. Acne is a part of life. You don't need to be embarrassed of it.
-
Israel has a security concern involving geography. But geography does not have the same value it did in 1967.
-
A lot of things come with fame, whether it's losing friends or losing family.
-
I'm not a one-issue person.
-
Everything starts as somebody's daydream.
-
I'm incredibly neurotic and a control freak. I like the thought that if there's going to be anyone to blame it's going to be me.
-
I like chords that are very lush with all the lush parts taken out.
-
I hear my songs being sung by females before I change them and make them into my voice.
-
There is nothing worse than a politician that gets defensive and starts attacking the media - and it always looks bad for the politician, because you sign up for this. You live by the sword, you die by the sword.
-
Youth is really in your attitude, not in what you look like.
-
The world is equally shocked at hearing Christianity criticized and seeing it practiced.
-
I don't think that the writer is regarded as a freak by Americans.
-
I was playing in the league when Ray Guy was playing in the league. He was the best kicker I've ever seen. He could bullet that ball 70 yards.
-
For example, many colleges in their writing programs teach some of my work.
-
When you laugh at something, you don’t fear it anymore.
-
Business people across the world are seeing the possibility of Donald Trump being president, and this is a big thing that I believe is inspiring people to put money here in America instead of Germany or other places where we have lot of things going on.
-
I do occasionally get into that 'checking Twitter every five minutes' state - 'Please, help me avoid my work.' I have a writing room for when I get completely out of control, so I can put myself out of the Internet's reach.
-
I feel like part of the inequality is that there are few great roles written for older women, and I think part of that is, basically, people want to look at young women, whereas men are still considered attractive - or more attractive - when they get older.
-
I wish, in some ways, I was the type of comedian who could do something blistering and topical, but I'm the guy who gets stuck in the revolving door and thinks I should write about that.
