Jim Gaffigan Quotes
I wish, in some ways, I was the type of comedian who could do something blistering and topical, but I'm the guy who gets stuck in the revolving door and thinks I should write about that.
Quotes to Explore
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I really do inhabit a system in which words are capable of shaking the entire structure of government, where words can prove mightier than ten military divisions.
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Usually it is uses of words, not words in themselves, that are properly called vague.
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As I've traveled around the country, it has surprised me how many times I've heard people in small businesses use that word 'saved.' I believe many small businesses would not have had access to credit and would not have survived without the $50 billion that we were able to put into the market.
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Looking back, the biggest mistake I made was feeling ashamed of it. Acne is a part of life. You don't need to be embarrassed of it.
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Israel has a security concern involving geography. But geography does not have the same value it did in 1967.
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A lot of things come with fame, whether it's losing friends or losing family.
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I'm not a one-issue person.
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Everything starts as somebody's daydream.
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I'm incredibly neurotic and a control freak. I like the thought that if there's going to be anyone to blame it's going to be me.
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I like chords that are very lush with all the lush parts taken out.
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I hear my songs being sung by females before I change them and make them into my voice.
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There is nothing worse than a politician that gets defensive and starts attacking the media - and it always looks bad for the politician, because you sign up for this. You live by the sword, you die by the sword.
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Youth is really in your attitude, not in what you look like.
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The world is equally shocked at hearing Christianity criticized and seeing it practiced.
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I don't think that the writer is regarded as a freak by Americans.
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I was playing in the league when Ray Guy was playing in the league. He was the best kicker I've ever seen. He could bullet that ball 70 yards.
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For example, many colleges in their writing programs teach some of my work.
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I deliberately, in a way, went for something that was a huge challenge and was a big period film. I was excited about the canvas on which I could tell the story as much as the story itself.
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I've spent a lot of time in tiny venues in the way that I got my record deal and got my name out there just performing live. I was literally performing my songs in all kinds of different ways with different guitarists, and I didn't have an album up online or anything. It's been a lot of work; it definitely hasn't been a sudden explosion into fame.
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My plan is to have a theatre in some small town or something and I'll be manager. Ill be the crazy old movie guy.
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Every year there's five cop shows, five medical shows and five 'Law & Orders,' but when it's a show about women, they want to pit everyone against each other. I don't think they'd do that if it was a guy show. I think there's room for all of us.
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Probably everything we do is a publicity stunt … we are not here to gather members, to please, to placate, to make friends. We're here to hold the radical line.
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If you are not afraid of the voices inside you, you will not fear the critics outside you. Besides, those voices are merely guardians and demons protecting the real treasure, the first thoughts of the mind.
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I wish, in some ways, I was the type of comedian who could do something blistering and topical, but I'm the guy who gets stuck in the revolving door and thinks I should write about that.
