Jim Gaffigan Quotes
I wish, in some ways, I was the type of comedian who could do something blistering and topical, but I'm the guy who gets stuck in the revolving door and thinks I should write about that.
Quotes to Explore
-
During workouts, I listen to Pandora, and I like the '90s pop stations. 'The Backstreet Boys' is fun!
-
I really do inhabit a system in which words are capable of shaking the entire structure of government, where words can prove mightier than ten military divisions.
-
Usually it is uses of words, not words in themselves, that are properly called vague.
-
As I've traveled around the country, it has surprised me how many times I've heard people in small businesses use that word 'saved.' I believe many small businesses would not have had access to credit and would not have survived without the $50 billion that we were able to put into the market.
-
Looking back, the biggest mistake I made was feeling ashamed of it. Acne is a part of life. You don't need to be embarrassed of it.
-
Israel has a security concern involving geography. But geography does not have the same value it did in 1967.
-
A lot of things come with fame, whether it's losing friends or losing family.
-
I'm not a one-issue person.
-
Everything starts as somebody's daydream.
-
I'm incredibly neurotic and a control freak. I like the thought that if there's going to be anyone to blame it's going to be me.
-
I like chords that are very lush with all the lush parts taken out.
-
I hear my songs being sung by females before I change them and make them into my voice.
-
There is nothing worse than a politician that gets defensive and starts attacking the media - and it always looks bad for the politician, because you sign up for this. You live by the sword, you die by the sword.
-
Youth is really in your attitude, not in what you look like.
-
The world is equally shocked at hearing Christianity criticized and seeing it practiced.
-
I don't think that the writer is regarded as a freak by Americans.
-
I was playing in the league when Ray Guy was playing in the league. He was the best kicker I've ever seen. He could bullet that ball 70 yards.
-
For example, many colleges in their writing programs teach some of my work.
-
I deliberately, in a way, went for something that was a huge challenge and was a big period film. I was excited about the canvas on which I could tell the story as much as the story itself.
-
One of my clearest impressions about India as a child was that my parents' stories would have been impossible had they stayed. Of course, such a vision was self-serving, for it made a virtue of our displacement.
-
One day you will kiss a man you can't breathe without, and find that breath is of little consequence.
-
For me, when I was a kid, volunteering was the last thing I was thinking about. When I see kids doing it now, it amazes me. It's very impressive, it gives them something productive to do as opposed to getting in trouble. For them to take time out at such a young age is remarkable. I think all kids should take a little time out to volunteer.
-
Chipotles to me are a one-of-a-kind pepper because they're smoked jalapenos, so they're fiery and they're smoky. It's good to use chipotles in salsas or soups or condiments - that works really well. To me, they always really pick up anything you put them in.
-
I wish, in some ways, I was the type of comedian who could do something blistering and topical, but I'm the guy who gets stuck in the revolving door and thinks I should write about that.
