Jim Gaffigan Quotes
I wish, in some ways, I was the type of comedian who could do something blistering and topical, but I'm the guy who gets stuck in the revolving door and thinks I should write about that.
Quotes to Explore
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I really do inhabit a system in which words are capable of shaking the entire structure of government, where words can prove mightier than ten military divisions.
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Usually it is uses of words, not words in themselves, that are properly called vague.
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As I've traveled around the country, it has surprised me how many times I've heard people in small businesses use that word 'saved.' I believe many small businesses would not have had access to credit and would not have survived without the $50 billion that we were able to put into the market.
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Looking back, the biggest mistake I made was feeling ashamed of it. Acne is a part of life. You don't need to be embarrassed of it.
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Israel has a security concern involving geography. But geography does not have the same value it did in 1967.
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A lot of things come with fame, whether it's losing friends or losing family.
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I'm not a one-issue person.
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Everything starts as somebody's daydream.
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I'm incredibly neurotic and a control freak. I like the thought that if there's going to be anyone to blame it's going to be me.
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I like chords that are very lush with all the lush parts taken out.
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I hear my songs being sung by females before I change them and make them into my voice.
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There is nothing worse than a politician that gets defensive and starts attacking the media - and it always looks bad for the politician, because you sign up for this. You live by the sword, you die by the sword.
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Youth is really in your attitude, not in what you look like.
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The world is equally shocked at hearing Christianity criticized and seeing it practiced.
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I don't think that the writer is regarded as a freak by Americans.
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I was playing in the league when Ray Guy was playing in the league. He was the best kicker I've ever seen. He could bullet that ball 70 yards.
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For example, many colleges in their writing programs teach some of my work.
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I deliberately, in a way, went for something that was a huge challenge and was a big period film. I was excited about the canvas on which I could tell the story as much as the story itself.
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The general public knows practically nothing about the prison and appears to be little concerned about how it is managed and how prisoners are treated.
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Looking at the way the game is played, I'm envious of the conditions. We played on some ropey World Cup surfaces. I genuinely never look back and wish I earned the money they do today, but I do think of that element.
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I'm on the phone with this guy, and he says to me, 'People compare you to Bruce Springsteen. I don't think you've written a song as good as 'Dancing in the Dark' or 'I'm on Fire.'' And all I could think was, 'Me neither!'
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Obviously, I come from one background, and the people that design fitness equipment have been doing it for years and years, and they know what works and doesn't work.
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I wish, in some ways, I was the type of comedian who could do something blistering and topical, but I'm the guy who gets stuck in the revolving door and thinks I should write about that.
