Jim Gaffigan Quotes
I got married. My wife changed her name. I know some women have a problem with that. But I wanted her to have my old girlfriend's name. So call me old-fashioned, but this fella does what the Bible tells.

Quotes to Explore
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We overvalue the arts in relation to the sciences.
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Life consists in what a man is thinking of all day.
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Relationships, like cars, should undergo regular services to make sure they are still roadworthy.
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I got into politics because I was tired of complaining.
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I've always found that no matter how much you spend on a movie - you can spend sixty dollars or sixty million dollars - if the movie's good, it's good.
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The health industry, the fitness industry, was really starting to pick up. This was around the mid 80's.
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I quit college. I was studying architecture for about a year.
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I played violin and got into that Suzuki program in the second grade.
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I've been telling my students, 'Imitate, imitate.' And they say, 'Well, what if I plagiarize, or what if I'm not original? I want to be myself.' And I always tell them, 'Your self will shine through'... If you allow yourself to feel deeply and honestly, what you say won't be like anyone else.
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Without the BBC, the proliferation of television and radio channels by the private sector would simply result in more and more channels, with tiny audiences, all seeking to do the same thing. The future would be one of fragmentation - fragmentation without either plurality or diversity.
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Cancer didn't change me at all. I know lots of people talk about the life revelation. I didn't have that.
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You can think of Hollywood as high school. TV actors are freshmen, comedy actors are maybe juniors, and dramatic actors - they're the cool seniors.
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Honestly, I just love great performers and people who love what they do.
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My parents had some problems of their own that put me in a position of having to deal with very grown-up stuff at a very young age. I needed some help with that, therapy-wise.
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Mother Nature made me the way I am, and I should be happy.
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Honestly, I think we should be delighted people still want to read, be it on a Kindle or a Nook or whatever the latest device is.
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On a scale of one to 10, I feel I'm at a nine because there's definitely room for improvement. I know I could go further.
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Siberia is a state of mind.
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When I'm writing, I need to amplify my thoughts and feelings on just a conversation that I might have had with somebody - somebody close to me. It's often the case that the people closest to me are the people on my mind the most.
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Sports, as a media property, is increasingly valuable because it's something you have to have live. As a result, we're a better touch point for sponsors and advertisers because our commercials typically don't get zapped out.
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Comedy writing is the hardest, and yet there's so much that's relatable in it.
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Every wife is like Mary the Blessed and may bear a saviour of mankind. The road is long, but the ways of Heaven are sure.
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What was really funny is that as I got older all those guys who called me a sissy in junior high school wanted me to be their best friend because they wanted to meet all the girls that I knew in figure skating.
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I got married. My wife changed her name. I know some women have a problem with that. But I wanted her to have my old girlfriend's name. So call me old-fashioned, but this fella does what the Bible tells.