Jim Gaffigan Quotes

I got married. My wife changed her name. I know some women have a problem with that. But I wanted her to have my old girlfriend's name. So call me old-fashioned, but this fella does what the Bible tells.

Jim Gaffigan

• Funny
• Comedy
• Problem
• Wife
• Married

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Quotes to Explore

• We overvalue the arts in relation to the sciences.

  

  Ian Mcewan
  • Relation
  • Arts
  • Sciences

• Life consists in what a man is thinking of all day.

  

  Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • Life
  • Thinking
  • Man

• Relationships, like cars, should undergo regular services to make sure they are still roadworthy.

  

  Zygmunt Bauman
  • Like
  • Relationships
  • Sure

• I got into politics because I was tired of complaining.

  

  Patrick Murphy
  • Politics
  • Tired
  • Complaining

• I've always found that no matter how much you spend on a movie - you can spend sixty dollars or sixty million dollars - if the movie's good, it's good.

  

  Dana Ashbrook
  • Good
  • Movie
  • You

• The health industry, the fitness industry, was really starting to pick up. This was around the mid 80's.

  

  Warren Cuccurullo Duran Duran
  • Up
  • Health
  • Fitness

• I quit college. I was studying architecture for about a year.

  

  Barry Mann
  • College
  • Architecture
  • Year

• I played violin and got into that Suzuki program in the second grade.

  

  Adam Jones
  • Got
  • VIolin
  • Grade

• I've been telling my students, 'Imitate, imitate.' And they say, 'Well, what if I plagiarize, or what if I'm not original? I want to be myself.' And I always tell them, 'Your self will shine through'... If you allow yourself to feel deeply and honestly, what you say won't be like anyone else.

  

  Natasha Trethewey
  • Myself
  • Yourself
  • Shine

• Cancer didn't change me at all. I know lots of people talk about the life revelation. I didn't have that.

  

  Randy Pausch
  • People
  • Life
  • Change

• You can think of Hollywood as high school. TV actors are freshmen, comedy actors are maybe juniors, and dramatic actors - they're the cool seniors.

  

  Owen Wilson
  • School
  • High
  • Comedy

• Honestly, I just love great performers and people who love what they do.

  

  Zendaya
  • People
  • Great
  • Love

• My parents had some problems of their own that put me in a position of having to deal with very grown-up stuff at a very young age. I needed some help with that, therapy-wise.

  

  Dakota Johnson
  • Up
  • Help
  • Age

• Mother Nature made me the way I am, and I should be happy.

  

  Karolina Kurkova
  • Happy
  • Mother
  • Nature

• Honestly, I think we should be delighted people still want to read, be it on a Kindle or a Nook or whatever the latest device is.

  

  Joanne Rowling
  • People
  • Think
  • Want

• On a scale of one to 10, I feel I'm at a nine because there's definitely room for improvement. I know I could go further.

  

  Maddie Ziegler
  • Know
  • Improvement
  • Go

• Siberia is a state of mind.

  

  Ian Frazier
  • Mind
  • State
  • Siberia

• One said of suicide, As long as one has brains one should not blow them out. And another answered, But when one has ceased to have them, too often one cannot.

  

  F. H. Bradley
  • Long
  • Said
  • Blow

• I don't need to marry again. I've been married twice, and I love it when it works, but these days we live until we're 80 and marriages are jolly long.

  

  Joanna Trollope
  • Long
  • Live

• Now, I don't expect what I write to change things. I think I write now simply as a witness. This is how it is. This is what we have done. This is what we have permitted.

  

  Jonathan Kozol
  • Done

• In Madrid, there's a big street in the centre called Callao. I remember being there with my mum and pointing to one of the big film posters and saying, 'I want to be up there.' That was my dream, and I got it.

  

  Maria Valverde
  • Up
  • Remember
  • Dream

• It's funny how sometimes you learn things off the Internet before they're actually told to you.

  

  Joel Edgerton
  • Funny

• Why is marriage the pinnacle for everyone? People get married for the wrong reasons. We need to start looking at different packages, whether it's living together, or being with six partners, or dedicating your life to taking care of flowers.

  

  Sandra Bullock
  • People
  • Different
  • Together

• I got married. My wife changed her name. I know some women have a problem with that. But I wanted her to have my old girlfriend's name. So call me old-fashioned, but this fella does what the Bible tells.

  

  Jim Gaffigan
  • Funny
  • Comedy
  • Problem