Jimmy Carr Quotes
I go around the country and do a simple gag like, 'The property ladder is now a snake' and get a real laugh.

Quotes to Explore
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Yes, I can speak a bit and I can read and write in Russian. I learned it from my grandmother who raised me with all the Russian fairytales.
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If I go on a diet and work out, I'm always in a bad mood. I'd rather be a little heavier but nice.
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Bogart could have been color blind. He got to know a man before he decided if he liked him or not.
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I couldn't speak well. I went to speech therapy for 10 years. And I was sort of frustrated in that sense.
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We make assumptions: nurses should be nice, teachers should be good. But everyone has a dark side, some darker than others.
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Blogging and the Internet allow us to engage in a lot more real time conversations as opposed to a one-way dump of information or a message.
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Australia has a very big history of incarceration. What does that mean to us? What does it mean that we came over to a country that's not necessarily ours and filled it with white prisoners?
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I'm a bit of a fashion magpie.
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As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
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Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.
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Like some high official, you have to tell your brain: 'Do it. Come on. I have to do it.'
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All of my life I have stayed away from violence and the instruments of violence, and have seen a legal, democratic struggle as the only means to achieve change.
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Was Sen. Barack Obama a Muslim? Did he ever practice Islam? The presidential candidate officially rejects the claims, but the issue of Obama's personal faith has re-emerged amid conflicting accounts of his enrollment as a Muslim during elementary school in Indonesia, the world's most populous Muslim nation.
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I was made fun of a lot in middle school. When I was in seventh grade, the popular kids paid the most popular guy to ask me out.
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I could battle rap forever, but it's a joke to me.
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A hit film is what we work for as actors, as that goes to show that we have managed to entertain our audiences who shower us with their love and affection throughout the years.
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People try to change too much at once and it becomes overwhelming, and they end up falling off the program. So gradually changing bad habits makes much more of a difference than trying to change them all at once.
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Pioneers may be picturesque figures, but they are often rather lonely ones.
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Today it is evident that we have two political parties: the Tax and Spenders and the No-Tax and Spenders. Neither party is fiscally conservative. Is there no room at the inn for an honest conservative? A conservative who makes the case for smaller government on its merits and not just as the fallback option when fiscal bankruptcy threatens?
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I want to say a big thanks to our fans for all they did for us to get here. I feel humbled and really thankful. The Lord has blessed us with a great bunch of guys.
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I wouldn't call myself anti-nuclear.
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When I was 16 the first girl I had a crush on wasn't interested at all. I liked her from afar for ages, and when I eventually got the courage and told her, and she wasn't into me.
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I envy no quality of the mind or intellect in others; not genius, power, wit, nor fancy; but, if I could choose what would be most delightful, and, I believe, most useful to me, I should prefer a firm religious belief to every other blessing.
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I go around the country and do a simple gag like, 'The property ladder is now a snake' and get a real laugh.