Jimmy Carr Quotes
I go around the country and do a simple gag like, 'The property ladder is now a snake' and get a real laugh.

Quotes to Explore
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Yes, I can speak a bit and I can read and write in Russian. I learned it from my grandmother who raised me with all the Russian fairytales.
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If I go on a diet and work out, I'm always in a bad mood. I'd rather be a little heavier but nice.
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All it takes is one drink to mess with the way you drive - it clouds your judgment and slows your reflexes. Don't take any chances. It just isn't worth it.
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Bogart could have been color blind. He got to know a man before he decided if he liked him or not.
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I couldn't speak well. I went to speech therapy for 10 years. And I was sort of frustrated in that sense.
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We make assumptions: nurses should be nice, teachers should be good. But everyone has a dark side, some darker than others.
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Blogging and the Internet allow us to engage in a lot more real time conversations as opposed to a one-way dump of information or a message.
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Australia has a very big history of incarceration. What does that mean to us? What does it mean that we came over to a country that's not necessarily ours and filled it with white prisoners?
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I'm a bit of a fashion magpie.
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As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
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Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.
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Like some high official, you have to tell your brain: 'Do it. Come on. I have to do it.'
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All of my life I have stayed away from violence and the instruments of violence, and have seen a legal, democratic struggle as the only means to achieve change.
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Was Sen. Barack Obama a Muslim? Did he ever practice Islam? The presidential candidate officially rejects the claims, but the issue of Obama's personal faith has re-emerged amid conflicting accounts of his enrollment as a Muslim during elementary school in Indonesia, the world's most populous Muslim nation.
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I was made fun of a lot in middle school. When I was in seventh grade, the popular kids paid the most popular guy to ask me out.
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I could battle rap forever, but it's a joke to me.
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You know what it's like to wake up in the middle of the night with a vivid dream? And you know that if you don't have a pencil and pad by the bed, it will be completely gone by the next morning. Sometimes it's important to wake up and stop dreaming. When a really great dream shows up, grab it.
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A hit film is what we work for as actors, as that goes to show that we have managed to entertain our audiences who shower us with their love and affection throughout the years.
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The reality is that most of North America knows next to nothing of the 20th century's first genocide - the systematic slaughter of 1.5 million Armenians in the First World War.
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France is a place where the money falls apart in your hands but you can't tear the toilet paper.
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How can you ban language, words? How're words offensive? And why should I have to tolerate YOUR interpretation? I'm the one using the word. ASK me how I'm using it, don't TELL me. And if you don't like the way I'm using it, so what? It's my right. It's my freedom of expression. Without that, we're nothing but slaves. My language, now fuck off!!!
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I believed in Bobby Kennedy. Campaigning for him was an attempt to give back something to this country that has given me so much.
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I go around the country and do a simple gag like, 'The property ladder is now a snake' and get a real laugh.