- All Quotes
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Every audience is different, even within the same venue. You have to just make every audience your audience; you can't pre-judge an audience based on the size of the room or the type of room.
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There is a part of my generation that is not on social media because they have happy lives and they're not trying to connect with anybody. And there are other people who are on social media because they need to connect.
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I don't want to get into extended conversations with people on MySpace, because there are friends I have extended conversations with every day.
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I mean, all alternative comedy is are comedians that have being doing it for so long, for so long, that they were relaxed enough to start becoming personal on stage.
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It's like our country is being run by a bunch of bad alcoholic dads right now.
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There are times when I have to take, I call it a 'silence bath,' where I shut off all of the external gadgets. I go walk around, talk to people, and just live life for a while.
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The Kentucky Fried Chicken corporation made a bobble head of me and sent it to my management. No card, nothing.
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I have to drink this much to be as unfunny as you.
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If you play comedic scenes like they're really serious, then it's so much more funny than if you're going for a laugh.
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If another one of my Whole-Foods friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet.
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When I was 25, all I did was just scream, 'Sellout! Fucking sellouts. Corporate sellout. Industry bullshit. Meh-meh-meh.' I look back on it and I realized, 'oh, I was screaming 'sellout' because nobody wanted to buy what I was selling.'
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There's nothing wrong with doing comedies, and I'm not against comedies, either, but I always want to do stuff that keeps me off my guard and gets me out of my comfort zone.