Joe Rogan Quotes
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I see martial arts as moving forms of meditation. When you're sparring or drilling techniques, you can't think of anything else.
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I'm a huge Groucho fan. There were some great comic minds that would transfer into any generation, and Groucho is certainly one of them.
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No matter how civilized we are and how much society has curbed violent behavior. Human beings still have the same genes they had 10,000 years ago. Our bodies are designed to have a certain amount of physical stress and violence in them. We're designed to run from jaguars and fight to defend our territory.
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No girl wants a secretly gay boyfriend, every dude wants a secretly gay girlfriend.
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I had a great time on News Radio, I got to make tons of money in relative obscurity and learn a lot about the TV biz and work on my standup act constantly. It was a dream gig.
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If you are the greatest, why would you go around talking about it?
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Some people don't believe in aliens. I do believe in aliens. But I believe they gave up on people a long time ago. Wouldn't you? I think there's a few liberal aliens out there, still hangin' in,
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So many times I've done a CD, and then the week after I record it, I've got this new tagline that's killer. And it makes the whole bit better. It happens all the time. But that's just the process of comedy.
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I never want to compromise my act just to get a laugh.
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I am not homophobic; I am cock-conscious.
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The only time I commit to conspiracy theories is when something way retarded happens. Like Lee Harvey Oswald acting alone.
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Richard Pryor is, in my mind, the most honest comedian. He bared his soul to people. I think that's why everybody loved him so much.
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The planet's spinning a thousand miles an hour around this gigantic nuclear explosion while these people roll these machines with rubber tires over this hard surface that we've laid down over the planet so that we can easily move ourselves back and forth.
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I don't care if you're gay, black, Chinese, straight. That means nothing to me. It's all an illusion.
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The misconception is that standup comics are always on. I don't know any really funny comics that are annoying and constantly trying to be funny all the time.
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If someone plays a brooding actor in a film, people think they're brooding all the time.
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Faith itself is a horrible mechanism that stunts the growth of ideas. It also stunts the act of questioning, and it does this by pushing the idea that you have to have faith - and that nothing has to be proven.
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It's painful for me to watch someone who isn't funny. It's horrifying to sit in the back and watch some guy who just totally sucks.
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Apartment living is tough action. Just the whole idea that you share a washer and dryer always freaked me out.
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Any comic like myself owes everything he has to Lenny Bruce. He was the originator. The godfather of uncensored American stand-up is clearly Lenny Bruce.
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My act is so completely and totally uncensored that the only way I could really pull it off is if I treat the audience like they're my best friends.
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People for the most part can smell lies.
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Never stay in a bad marriage, and don't hang around with psycho coke fiends.
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I really never had any ambitions to be a standup comic. I was talked into it by guys that I used to work out with.