Joe Rogan Quotes
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Richard Pryor is, in my mind, the most honest comedian. He bared his soul to people. I think that's why everybody loved him so much.
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I am not homophobic; I am cock-conscious.
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Comedy is really not like any other art form in that it's very specialized and varied in it's content, but generic in it's title.
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I'm a huge Groucho fan. There were some great comic minds that would transfer into any generation, and Groucho is certainly one of them.
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I had a great time on News Radio, I got to make tons of money in relative obscurity and learn a lot about the TV biz and work on my standup act constantly. It was a dream gig.
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Some people don't believe in aliens. I do believe in aliens. But I believe they gave up on people a long time ago. Wouldn't you? I think there's a few liberal aliens out there, still hangin' in,
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If you are the greatest, why would you go around talking about it?
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Never stay in a bad marriage, and don't hang around with psycho coke fiends.
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No matter how civilized we are and how much society has curbed violent behavior. Human beings still have the same genes they had 10,000 years ago. Our bodies are designed to have a certain amount of physical stress and violence in them. We're designed to run from jaguars and fight to defend our territory.
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So many times I've done a CD, and then the week after I record it, I've got this new tagline that's killer. And it makes the whole bit better. It happens all the time. But that's just the process of comedy.
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Apartment living is tough action. Just the whole idea that you share a washer and dryer always freaked me out.
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I see martial arts as moving forms of meditation. When you're sparring or drilling techniques, you can't think of anything else.
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It's painful for me to watch someone who isn't funny. It's horrifying to sit in the back and watch some guy who just totally sucks.
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The only time I commit to conspiracy theories is when something way retarded happens. Like Lee Harvey Oswald acting alone.
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The planet's spinning a thousand miles an hour around this gigantic nuclear explosion while these people roll these machines with rubber tires over this hard surface that we've laid down over the planet so that we can easily move ourselves back and forth.
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I don't care if you're gay, black, Chinese, straight. That means nothing to me. It's all an illusion.
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Faith itself is a horrible mechanism that stunts the growth of ideas. It also stunts the act of questioning, and it does this by pushing the idea that you have to have faith - and that nothing has to be proven.
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Any comic like myself owes everything he has to Lenny Bruce. He was the originator. The godfather of uncensored American stand-up is clearly Lenny Bruce.
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I never want to compromise my act just to get a laugh.
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I think that one of the reasons why people look towards the end of humanity is that people are afraid to die alone. If you die alone, the people you love will miss you, or if they die, you miss them - the sorrow is inevitable. When you truly love someone, the thought of losing them forever is horrible.
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The misconception is that standup comics are always on. I don't know any really funny comics that are annoying and constantly trying to be funny all the time.
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People for the most part can smell lies.
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My act is so completely and totally uncensored that the only way I could really pull it off is if I treat the audience like they're my best friends.
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Phil Hartman was brilliant, and Dave Foley is a really funny guy. Phil Hartman was actually even funnier offstage than he was onstage because he would say nasty things. Dave Foley's very funny, very witty guy, very quick.