Joe Rogan Quotes
- All Quotes
-
I had seen movies before that that had made me laugh, but I had never seen anything even remotely close to as funny as Richard Pryor was, just standing there talking.
-
No girl wants a secretly gay boyfriend, every dude wants a secretly gay girlfriend.
-
I'm a huge Groucho fan. There were some great comic minds that would transfer into any generation, and Groucho is certainly one of them.
-
No matter how civilized we are and how much society has curbed violent behavior. Human beings still have the same genes they had 10,000 years ago. Our bodies are designed to have a certain amount of physical stress and violence in them. We're designed to run from jaguars and fight to defend our territory.
-
I had a great time on News Radio, I got to make tons of money in relative obscurity and learn a lot about the TV biz and work on my standup act constantly. It was a dream gig.
-
If you are the greatest, why would you go around talking about it?
-
So many times I've done a CD, and then the week after I record it, I've got this new tagline that's killer. And it makes the whole bit better. It happens all the time. But that's just the process of comedy.
-
Some people don't believe in aliens. I do believe in aliens. But I believe they gave up on people a long time ago. Wouldn't you? I think there's a few liberal aliens out there, still hangin' in,
-
I am not homophobic; I am cock-conscious.
-
I never want to compromise my act just to get a laugh.
-
Richard Pryor is, in my mind, the most honest comedian. He bared his soul to people. I think that's why everybody loved him so much.
-
The planet's spinning a thousand miles an hour around this gigantic nuclear explosion while these people roll these machines with rubber tires over this hard surface that we've laid down over the planet so that we can easily move ourselves back and forth.
-
Faith itself is a horrible mechanism that stunts the growth of ideas. It also stunts the act of questioning, and it does this by pushing the idea that you have to have faith - and that nothing has to be proven.
-
The only time I commit to conspiracy theories is when something way retarded happens. Like Lee Harvey Oswald acting alone.
-
I don't care if you're gay, black, Chinese, straight. That means nothing to me. It's all an illusion.
-
It's painful for me to watch someone who isn't funny. It's horrifying to sit in the back and watch some guy who just totally sucks.
-
Any comic like myself owes everything he has to Lenny Bruce. He was the originator. The godfather of uncensored American stand-up is clearly Lenny Bruce.
-
If someone plays a brooding actor in a film, people think they're brooding all the time.
-
Apartment living is tough action. Just the whole idea that you share a washer and dryer always freaked me out.
-
My act is so completely and totally uncensored that the only way I could really pull it off is if I treat the audience like they're my best friends.
-
I had a sense of who I was before I got famous.
-
I think that one of the reasons why people look towards the end of humanity is that people are afraid to die alone. If you die alone, the people you love will miss you, or if they die, you miss them - the sorrow is inevitable. When you truly love someone, the thought of losing them forever is horrible.
-
I really never had any ambitions to be a standup comic. I was talked into it by guys that I used to work out with.
-
People for the most part can smell lies.