Maz Jobrani Quotes
I don't consider myself an Iranian comedian; I consider myself a comedian who happens to be of Iranian descent.
Quotes to Explore
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You got me: I do Pilates. I love Pilates because we do very specific training in soccer for the same six or seven muscles, but we neglect so many other muscles. So when I do Pilates, it helps get all the rest of the muscles in shape and gets them working together.
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I couldn't live up to it. So I chose to run away.
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When improv is bad, it's excruciating to watch, and to be involved with it is a unique type of torture.
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Fantasy is sort of a blank slate that everybody can project their own culture onto. Everybody can read it in their own way.
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Of all liars the most arrogant are biographers: those who would have us believe, having surveyed a few boxes full of letters, diaries, bank statements and photographs, that they can play at the recording angel and tell the whole truth about another human life.
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For your information, I would like to ask a question.
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My name is Bolt, Lightning Bolt.
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I was ten years old in 1969, and while we lived in Arizona that year, I spent most of the summer staying with family friends in Portland, Oregon while my parents visited Spain. It was an adventure all around.
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I used to think that the Civil War was our country's greatest tragedy, but I do remember that there were some redeeming features in the Civil War in that there was some spirit of sacrifice and heroism displayed on both sides. I see no redeeming features in Watergate.
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When I look at a pie chart, I just go numb.
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Stephane Richard is far more attuned to the market than Didier Lombard.
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I can write with absolutely perfect penmanship with my feet. If I broke both my arms, I could still write a girl a love letter using just my toes.
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When I started teaching at Stanford Graduate School of Business in 2000, no field-based courses in strategic philanthropy existed.
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And then she finally said yes. And we have been married, I want you to know, for 51 years.
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I find solace in animals. I have got a stray dog at home called Candy. I picked it up while I was waiting at the airport one day. I always wanted to have a 'macho' dog but got this sweet little thing instead.
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My background is in physics, so I was the mission specialist, who is sort of like the flight engineer on an airplane.
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God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.
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What’s true is that everyone is uncomfortable with expressing anger and being critical. Anger and criticism generates rejection. And everyone hates rejection.
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I remember my mom dressed like Janis Joplin.
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Only the journey matters.
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To solve the drug problem, we have to start at the root - first grade. If a boy has all the toys in his head that reading can give him, and you hook him into science fiction, then you've got the future secured.
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A travel-size dry shampoo is the answer to many problems.
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I don't consider myself an Iranian comedian; I consider myself a comedian who happens to be of Iranian descent.
