Maz Jobrani Quotes
I don't consider myself an Iranian comedian; I consider myself a comedian who happens to be of Iranian descent.
Quotes to Explore
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I was in a Nativity play as a kid. Back then, I played the donkey.
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You got me: I do Pilates. I love Pilates because we do very specific training in soccer for the same six or seven muscles, but we neglect so many other muscles. So when I do Pilates, it helps get all the rest of the muscles in shape and gets them working together.
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I couldn't live up to it. So I chose to run away.
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When improv is bad, it's excruciating to watch, and to be involved with it is a unique type of torture.
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Every woman looks good in a flamenco dress.
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Fantasy is sort of a blank slate that everybody can project their own culture onto. Everybody can read it in their own way.
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A lot of people thought you couldn't be a top-level athlete as a vegan, but people like Mac Danzig and Jake Shields are proving that's wrong. And it's better for me as a performer.
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Of all liars the most arrogant are biographers: those who would have us believe, having surveyed a few boxes full of letters, diaries, bank statements and photographs, that they can play at the recording angel and tell the whole truth about another human life.
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For your information, I would like to ask a question.
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My name is Bolt, Lightning Bolt.
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I was ten years old in 1969, and while we lived in Arizona that year, I spent most of the summer staying with family friends in Portland, Oregon while my parents visited Spain. It was an adventure all around.
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I used to think that the Civil War was our country's greatest tragedy, but I do remember that there were some redeeming features in the Civil War in that there was some spirit of sacrifice and heroism displayed on both sides. I see no redeeming features in Watergate.
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When I look at a pie chart, I just go numb.
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Stephane Richard is far more attuned to the market than Didier Lombard.
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I can write with absolutely perfect penmanship with my feet. If I broke both my arms, I could still write a girl a love letter using just my toes.
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When I started teaching at Stanford Graduate School of Business in 2000, no field-based courses in strategic philanthropy existed.
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And then she finally said yes. And we have been married, I want you to know, for 51 years.
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I find solace in animals. I have got a stray dog at home called Candy. I picked it up while I was waiting at the airport one day. I always wanted to have a 'macho' dog but got this sweet little thing instead.
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My friend Jonathan had a great tree house. It was awesome. It was like a big fort up in this tall magnolia tree... That's where we would conduct our very important business, I'm sure, with all our bikes leaning up against a tree and no girls allowed, handling all sorts of important things you handle when you're seven or eight.
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I wanted to go to the end of photography.
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I think any of us who have been involved in the mission of Iraq have developed a great deal of affection for the Iraqi people and are emotionally invested in what we think is a vital mission... So I think any of my contemporaries would welcome the opportunity to go back and make a contribution to this extraordinarily important mission.
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Every person, every race, every nation, has its own particular keynote which it brings to the general chord of life and of humanity. Life is not a monotone but a many-stringed harmony, and to this harmony is contributed a distinctive note by each individual.
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I don't consider myself an Iranian comedian; I consider myself a comedian who happens to be of Iranian descent.
