Maz Jobrani Quotes
I don't consider myself an Iranian comedian; I consider myself a comedian who happens to be of Iranian descent.
Quotes to Explore
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I was in a Nativity play as a kid. Back then, I played the donkey.
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You got me: I do Pilates. I love Pilates because we do very specific training in soccer for the same six or seven muscles, but we neglect so many other muscles. So when I do Pilates, it helps get all the rest of the muscles in shape and gets them working together.
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I couldn't live up to it. So I chose to run away.
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When improv is bad, it's excruciating to watch, and to be involved with it is a unique type of torture.
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Every woman looks good in a flamenco dress.
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Fantasy is sort of a blank slate that everybody can project their own culture onto. Everybody can read it in their own way.
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A lot of people thought you couldn't be a top-level athlete as a vegan, but people like Mac Danzig and Jake Shields are proving that's wrong. And it's better for me as a performer.
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Of all liars the most arrogant are biographers: those who would have us believe, having surveyed a few boxes full of letters, diaries, bank statements and photographs, that they can play at the recording angel and tell the whole truth about another human life.
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When you're in a high-stress situation, dynamics between people can change.
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For your information, I would like to ask a question.
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My name is Bolt, Lightning Bolt.
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I was ten years old in 1969, and while we lived in Arizona that year, I spent most of the summer staying with family friends in Portland, Oregon while my parents visited Spain. It was an adventure all around.
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I used to think that the Civil War was our country's greatest tragedy, but I do remember that there were some redeeming features in the Civil War in that there was some spirit of sacrifice and heroism displayed on both sides. I see no redeeming features in Watergate.
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When I look at a pie chart, I just go numb.
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Stephane Richard is far more attuned to the market than Didier Lombard.
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I can write with absolutely perfect penmanship with my feet. If I broke both my arms, I could still write a girl a love letter using just my toes.
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When I started teaching at Stanford Graduate School of Business in 2000, no field-based courses in strategic philanthropy existed.
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And then she finally said yes. And we have been married, I want you to know, for 51 years.
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I find solace in animals. I have got a stray dog at home called Candy. I picked it up while I was waiting at the airport one day. I always wanted to have a 'macho' dog but got this sweet little thing instead.
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I wish I could finish stories as fast as you can. I am much obliged to you for the sight of Olivia, and think you have done for her very well; but the good-for-nothing father, who was the real author of all her faults and sufferings, should not escape unpunished. I hope he hung himself, or took the surname of Bone or underwent some direful penance or other.
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To buy books would be a good thing if we could also buy the time to read them; but the purchase of books is often mistaken for the assimilation and mastering of their contents.
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When a man undertakes to create something, he establishes a new heaven, as it were, and from it the work that he desires to create flows into him... For such is the immensity of man that he is greater than heaven and earth.
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Go to the battlefield firmly confident of victory and you will come home with no wounds whatsoever.
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I don't consider myself an Iranian comedian; I consider myself a comedian who happens to be of Iranian descent.
