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Well, the only way I can get a leading-man role is if I write it.
John Cleese -
If you want creative workers, give them enough time to play.
John Cleese
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I tend to have an odd split in my mind: I tend to look at it as a writer and when the writing thing is OK and I'm happy with it, then I put on my actor's hat.
John Cleese -
I was always a sports nut but I've lost interest now in whether one bunch of mercenaries in north London is going to beat another bunch of mercenaries from west London.
John Cleese -
The most creative people have this childlike facility to play.
John Cleese -
I just think that sometimes we hang onto people or relationships long after they've ceased to be of any use to either of you. I'm always meeting new people, and my list of friends seems to change quite a bit.
John Cleese -
I'm struck by how laughter connects you with people. It's almost impossible to maintain any kind of distance or any sense of social hierarchy when you're just howling with laughter. Laughter is a force for democracy.
John Cleese -
Aping Urbanity, Oozing with Vanity Plump as a Manatee, Faking Humanity Journalistic Calamity, Intellectual Inanity Fox News Insanity, You're a profanity Hannity
John Cleese
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Wine is wonderful stuff. But so many people are put off by the snobbery of it.
John Cleese -
A wonderful thing about true laughter is that it just destroys any kind of system of dividing people.
John Cleese -
In Britain, girls seem to be either bright or attractive. In America, that's not the case. They're both.
John Cleese -
I had a very, very difficult relationship with my mother, who was supremely self-centred. She was hilariously self-centred. She did not really take interest in anything that didn't immediately affect her.
John Cleese -
I would say that I began with a very edgy, very driven personality and after a sufficient amount of therapy over many, many years, I managed to become rather relaxed and happy.
John Cleese -
I think that sometimes you do something that makes a small group of people laugh, which is all we were trying to do; we were just trying to make each other laugh.
John Cleese
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The thrill I got discovering Buster Keaton when I was growing up was so exciting. He was one of the greats.
John Cleese -
Michael Palin decided to give up on his considerable comedy talents to make those dreadfully tedious travel shows. Have you ever tried to watch one?
John Cleese -
You see, you could never do a sketch like that these days. The audience is too uninformed. I blame the Americans. Nation of obese, violent, pig-ignorant, bible-thumping morons contaminating world culture. That’s why I spend most of my time here in France. … Beautiful, isn’t it? Just look at those olive trees. Interviewer: This is Santa Barbara.
John Cleese -
For me, the great problem growing up in England was that I had a very narrow concept of what God can be, and it was damn close to an old man with a beard.
John Cleese -
When you've been doing comedy for forty years, you really do know most of the jokes. And even if you don't know a specific joke, you can pretty much guess what it's going to be.
John Cleese -
Some actors, I think, want to feel that they are as creative as the writer. And the answer is, frankly, they're not.
John Cleese
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My compulsion to always be working has become less strong and my current business is purely down to this enormous alimony. If I wasn't doing this I'd be making documentaries about wildlife and other subjects that interest me.
John Cleese -
England is a fairly envious little country and it's embodied in the press. They don't like anyone being more distinguished than they are.
John Cleese -
I can never do better than Fawlty Towers whatever I do. Now I very much want to teach young talent some rules of the game.
John Cleese -
Six hundred years ago we would have been burned for this. Now, what I'm suggesting is that we've advanced.
John Cleese