John Mulaney Quotes
My dad is and was very funny and had a really dry sense of humor, which, as a kid, seemed un-fun. But in retrospect, it's kind of hilarious.
Quotes to Explore
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I exercise at home - light cardio and yoga.
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Big league defense is going to get outs most times.
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Ever since I was a child, I would start crying seeing anyone in pain.
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I would definitely like to start a family because it's the most important thing in the world and what you should take care of, along with your friends and the people you love.
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So, I'm on 'Sesame Street,' walking around with all these monsters, Elmo and his buddies, a whole bunch of chickens, a whole bunch of penguins and a number four dancing about. It was just pure joy, simple, ridiculous fun, stupid joy. There's no irony. 'Sesame Street' is just a crazy great place to be.
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I've had my run in with trouble. Fortunately, you know, one slap on the hand is usually the last time for me... I learned my lesson.
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The West has become the world model; developing countries are dreaming of living like us, which is impossible. They should reject our model, because it is not sustainable. Developing countries should even give us the example, but unfortunately that's not what happens.
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I'm really boring. I get up early. I go to bed early. I don't smoke or drink. I mean, I'll eat a cupcake. I'm just not a crazy, stay-out-all-night sort of person. I love writing.
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It's funny to think that when you get done with an acting job, you're considered unemployed. There are definitely times when those checks don't last forever. I went to college at a private school, and I racked up quite a bit of debt. I was very slow to pay them back.
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There's a great freedom in writing by yourself. You can write anything you want.
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I'm reading today because of 'Encyclopedia Brown.'
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I'm the best Twitterer.
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What people can survive and what they don't survive is shocking to me. Someone can go to Iraq and be blown to bits and survive. Someone can trip and fall on the street and they die – that's that.
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I wanted to look at the mentality that can breed that sort of intensity, that kind of cutthroat, pressure-cooker feeling, especially a form of music like jazz, that should be - or you'd think should be - all about liberation and improvisation and everything.
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People are incredible creatures of habit.
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I listen to music almost any time I'm not sleeping, 'hanging out' with specific people, or showering.
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This is the other thing: we make the cost of raising kids higher than it has to be just because we feel they need all this stuff, like gadgets, certain schools, and activities that are nice but aren't really necessary.
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My mom taught me to live by the three p's: to always be passionate, persistent, and prepared.
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One way to quantify the immigrant contribution to the overall economy is to measure their share of the U.S. economic output. One such examination for the years 2009-2011 found that immigrants contributed 14.7 percent of the total economic output.
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More people die on a yearly basis crossing the Florida Straits than ever died trying to cross the Berlin Wall.
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White Americans have the option of not having to think about race on a daily basis. People of color don't. Race is a major deciding factor in their lives and the histories of their families.
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I'm not just a normal guy. I'm a gymnast.
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We've been playing a lot with television. We have some shows set up and then some new shows that are about to be set up. That's gonna be kind of a fun thing for us as producers.
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My dad is and was very funny and had a really dry sense of humor, which, as a kid, seemed un-fun. But in retrospect, it's kind of hilarious.
