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You use a glass mirror to see your face; you use works of art to see your soul.
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Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world.
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All autobiographies are lies. I do not mean unconscious, unintentional lies: I mean deliberate lies.
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I do not want to make my stomach a graveyard of dead animals.
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If all the economists were laid end to end, they'd never reach a conclusion.
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If ever I utter an oath again may my soul be blasted to eternal damnation!
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To the person with a toothache, even if the world is tottering, there is nothing more important than a visit to a dentist.
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There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it.
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Death is for many of us the gate of hell; but we are inside on the way out, not outside on the way in.
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The epithet beautiful is used by surgeons to describe operations which their patients describe as ghastly, by physicists to describe methods of measurement which leave sentimentalists cold, by lawyers to describe cases which ruin all the parties to them, and by lovers to describe the objects of their infatuation, however unattractive they may appear to the unaffected spectators.
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German and Spanish are accessible to foreigners: English is not accessible even to Englishmen.
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A man never tells you anything until you contradict him.
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What is the use of writing plays, what is the use of writing anything, if there is not a will which finally moulds chaos itself into a race of gods.
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Decency cannot be discussed without indecency!
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A man of my spiritual intensity does not eat corpses.
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I do not want actors and actresses to understand my plays. That is not necessary. If they will only pronounce the correct sounds I can guarantee the results.
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You can always tell an old soldier by the inside of his holsters and cartridge boxes. The young ones carry pistols and cartridges; the old ones, grub.
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I was told that my diet was so poor that I could not repair the bones that were broken and operated on. So I have just had an Xradiograph taken; and lo! perfectly mended solid bone so beautifully white that I have left instructions that, if I die, a glove stretcher is to be made of me and sent to you as a souvenir...
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Affection between adults - if they are really adult in mind and not merely grown up children - and creatures so relatively selfish and cruel as children necessarily are without knowing it or meaning it, cannot be called natural.
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Liquor is the chloroform which enables the poor man to endure the painful operation of living.
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It would positively be a relief to me to dig Shakespeare up and throw stones at him.
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I also made it quite clear that Socialism means equality of income or nothing, and that under socialism you would not be allowed to be poor. You would be forcibly feed, clothed, lodged, taught, and employed whether you like it or not. If it were discovered that you had not character enough to be worth all this trouble, you might possibly be executed in a kindly manner; but whilst you were permitted to live you would have to live well.
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Kings are not born: they are made by artificial hallucination.
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Taking all the round of professions and occupations, you will find that every man is the worse for being poor; and the doctor is a specially dangerous man when poor.