Johnny Carson Quotes

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.

Johnny Carson

• Hand
• Hurt

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Quotes to Explore

• Born with blue spectacles, you would think the world was blue and never be conscious of the existence of the distorting glass.

  

  T. E. Hulme
  • World
  • Blue
  • Born

• First developed as a weapon by the U.S. Army, VX is an oily, odorless and tasteless liquid that kills on contact with the skin or when inhaled in aerosol form. Like other nerve agents, it is treatable in the first minutes after exposure but otherwise leads swiftly to fatal convulsions and respiratory failure.

  

  Barton Gellman
  • Failure
  • Army
  • First

• When you play on a team, you learn that there will always be five guys you like, a bunch of guys who are OK, and five you despise. The trick to getting along in any system is not to worry about the five you despise.

  

  D. B. Sweeney
  • Team
  • Worry
  • Learn

• There's an unintended consequence when it comes to drone attacks in Yemen. Yeah, you take out the al-Qaida stronghold, but you also wipe out the other half of the block. That makes Yemenis against the United States for the rest of their lives and all their descendants.

  

  Gary Johnson
  • You
  • Rest
  • United States

• I don't want to do anything like Can't Hardly Wait, I don't want to do anything like Scream. I saw all those movies, and they were good, but they're just not what I want to do.

  

  Laura Prepon
  • Good
  • Want
  • Movies

• I love watching action. I remember watching Angelina Jolie in 'Tomb Raider,' and I was like 'Wow, it's so cool when a girl can go around and kick butt.'

  

  Olga Fonda
  • Remember
  • Girl
  • Action

• I had more clothes than I had closets, more cars than garage space, but no money.

  

  Sammy Davis, Jr.
  • Money
  • Space
  • Car

• Nobody in France would ever say 'He's a Jewish novelist' or 'She's a black novelist,' even though people do write about those subjects. It would look absurd to a French person to go into a bookstore and see a 'Gay Studies' section.

  

  Edmund White
  • People
  • She
  • Black

• Effective teacher support in my mind is the same thing as effective management. Our teachers need strong management, just like anyone in any profession.

  

  Wendy Kopp
  • Mind
  • Strong
  • Support

• We call ourselves a dog's 'master' - but who ever dared to call himself the 'master' of a cat? We own a dog - he is with us as a slave and inferior because we wish him to be. But we entertain a cat - he adorns our hearth as a guest, fellow-lodger, and equal because he wishes to be there.

  

  H. P. Lovecraft
  • Wish
  • Dog
  • Cat

• I have never gotten a B in my life. I would honestly be mortified if I got a B. I'm so academically driven.

  

  Sami Gayle
  • Life
  • Never
  • My Life

• In trying to scramble out of a hole, it sometimes digs it deeper.

  

  Wellington Mara
  • Trying
  • Sometimes
  • Hole

• A lot of guys go in immediately for status, as opposed to comfort and allowing their home to tell a story about them.

  

  Nate Berkus
  • Home
  • Story
  • Comfort

• When I started in the mid-'90s, the goal was really to shoot for a film career and stay there.

  

  Gabriel Mann
  • Career
  • Film
  • Goal

• I'm just not very funny.

  

  Ira Glass
  • Funny
  • Just
  • Very

• I wrote my first book when I was in my late thirties.

  

  Malcolm Gladwell
  • Book
  • First
  • Late

• When I decided to go for four gold medals I planned it out over a few years. It was in four different events and there was a lot to it.

  

  Carl Lewis
  • Different
  • Gold
  • Planned

• I am permanently relaxed.

  

  Daniel Barenboim
  • Relaxed

• Political and social change is always a stagger-step process. One step forward, two steps back. They want you to give up.

  

  Hal Sparks
  • Up
  • Political
  • Change

• My grandmother took me to church on Sunday all day long, every Sunday into the night. Then Monday evening was the missionary meeting. Tuesday evening was usher board meeting. Wednesday evening was prayer meeting. Thursday evening was visit the sick. Friday evening was choir practice. I mean, and at all those gatherings, we sang.

  

  Maya Angelou
  • Church
  • Practice
  • Prayer

• Hey, Mikey? You get her hurt and I'll end you." "You let anything happen to Eve and I'll do the same," Michael said. He'd just finished kissing Eve, too. "While you're at it, don't get yourself killed, either, bro." "Ditto. And don't kiss me.

  

  Rachel Caine
  • Hurt
  • Kiss
  • Happen

• Understanding' is merely the sum total of our misunderstandings.

  

  Haruki Murakami
  • Understanding
  • Misunderstandings
  • Sum Total

• Hunger and self-control do not go hand in hand.

  

  Kathy Freston
  • Control
  • Hand

• Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.

  

  Johnny Carson
  • Hand
  • Hurt