George Carlin Quotes
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You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.
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Always do whatever's next.
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When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent.
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Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
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Help me find some shoes I really like. Help me also to find a nymphomaniac coke connection who owns a Ferrari dealership.
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Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
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So I say live and let live. That's my motto. Live and let live. Anyone who can't go along with that, take him outside and shoot the motherfucker. It's a simple philosophy, but it's always worked in our family.
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I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.
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I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work.
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I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.