George Carlin Quotes
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When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent.
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Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.
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You know how you speed up baseball? Everybody gets one swing. That's it one swing fuck you, you're out sit down!
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Always do whatever's next.
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Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
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Help me find some shoes I really like. Help me also to find a nymphomaniac coke connection who owns a Ferrari dealership.
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I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work.
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I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.
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I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
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So I say live and let live. That's my motto. Live and let live. Anyone who can't go along with that, take him outside and shoot the motherfucker. It's a simple philosophy, but it's always worked in our family.