Joseph Heller Quotes
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Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it.
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But the God I don't believe in is a good God, a just God, a merciful God. He's not the mean and stupid God you make him out to be.
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Something did happen to me somewhere that robbed me of confidence and courage and left me with a fear of discovery and change and a positive dread of everything unknown that may occur.
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I can't start writing until I have a closing line.
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Men went mad and were rewarded with medals.
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If character is destiny, the good are damned.
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But that was war. Just about all he could find in its favor was that it paid well and liberated children from the pernicious influence of their parents.
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Prostitution gives her an opportunity to meet people. It provides fresh air and wholesome exercise, and it keeps her out of trouble.
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Major Major never sees anyone in his office while he's in his office.
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If God was dead, how could I feel this bad?
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I could not write about a subject sacred to me because I would be too flippant. Fortunately, there are no subjects sacred to me.
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I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.
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Rise above principal and do what's right.
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The frog is almost five hundred million years old. Could you really say with much certainty that America, with all its strength and prosperity, with its fighting man that is second to none, and with its standard of living that is highest in the world, will last as long as...the frog?
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Yossarian decided to change the subject. "Now you're changing the subject." he pointed out diplomatically. "I'll bet I can name two things to be miserable about for every one you can name to be thankful for.
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They can do anything we can't stop them from doing.
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Now you've given them hope, and they're unhappy. So the blame is all yours.
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Everything passes. (That's what makes it endurable.)
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I don't think it's good to achieve too much at too early an age. What else can the future give you if you've already got all that your imagination has dreamt up for you? A writer is only discovered once in a lifetime, and if it happens very early the impossibility of matching that moment again can have a somewhat corrosive effect on his personality and indeed on the work itself.
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The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on.
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I don't believe in miracles because it's been a long time since we've had any.
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Nurse Duckett found Yossarian wonderful and was already trying to change him.
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After he made up his mind to spend the rest of the war in the hospital, Yossarian wrote letters to everyone he knew saying that he was in the hospital but never mentioning why. One day he had a better idea. To everyone he knew he wrote that he was going on a very dangerous mission. "They asked for volunteers. It's very dangerous, but someone has to do it. I'll write you the instant I get back." And he had not written anyone since.
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It doesn't make a damned bit of difference who wins the war to someone who's dead.