Joseph Heller Quotes
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I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.
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She was the epitome of stately sorrow each time she smiled.
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As always occurred when he quarreled over principles in which he believed passionately, he would end up gasping furiously for air and blinking back bitter tears of conviction. There were many principles in which Clevinger believed passionately. He was crazy.
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If God was dead, how could I feel this bad?
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Erogenous zones are either everywhere or nowhere.
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The body stores the trauma of our lives in muscular rigidity, thereby keeping us stuck in the past. When we release the tension in the body and align ourselves with gravity, we take a new stand in life. This allows us to be at ease with ourselves and in harmony in our relationship to others and to our planet.
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Catch-22 did not exist, he was positive of that, but it made no difference. What did matter was that everyone thought it existed, and that was much worse, for there was no object or text to ridicule or refute, to accuse, criticize, attack, amend, hate, revile, spit at, rip to shreds, trample upon or burn up.
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Under Colonel Korn's rule, the only people permitted to ask questions were those who never did.
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From men motivated by moral certitude, history teaches, no lasting good ever comes.
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But that was war. Just about all he could find in its favor was that it paid well and liberated children from the pernicious influence of their parents.
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They agreed that it was neither possible nor necessary to educate people who never questioned anything.
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Clevinger had a mind, and Lieutenant Scheisskoph had noticed that people with minds tended to get pretty smart at times.
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To Yossarian, the idea of pennants as prizes was absurd. No money went with them, no class privileges. Like Olympic medals and tennis trophies, all they signified was that the owner had done something of no benefit to anyone more capably than everyone else.
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Men went mad and were rewarded with medals.
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Yossarian decided to change the subject. "Now you're changing the subject." he pointed out diplomatically. "I'll bet I can name two things to be miserable about for every one you can name to be thankful for.
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Just for once I'd like to see all these things sort of straightened out, with each person getting exactly what he deserves. It might give me some confidence in this universe.
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The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on.
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I think that maybe in every company today there is always at least one person who is going crazy slowly.
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Prostitution gives her an opportunity to meet people. It provides fresh air and wholesome exercise, and it keeps her out of trouble.
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Major Major never sees anyone in his office while he's in his office.
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I think that maybe inside any business, there is someone slowly going crazy
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Now you've given them hope, and they're unhappy. So the blame is all yours.
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I had examined myself pretty thoroughly and discovered that I was unfit for military service.
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The frog is almost five hundred million years old. Could you really say with much certainty that America, with all its strength and prosperity, with its fighting man that is second to none, and with its standard of living that is highest in the world, will last as long as...the frog?