Joseph Heller Quotes
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I had examined myself pretty thoroughly and discovered that I was unfit for military service.
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There was only one catch and that was catch 22
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...Anything worth dying for ... is certainly worth living for.
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The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on.
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He knew everything about literature except how to enjoy it.
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For war there is always enough. It's peace that's expensive.
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I think that maybe in every company today there is always at least one person who is going crazy slowly.
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They can do anything we can't stop them from doing.
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Let someone else get killed!
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I never even realized I was Jewish until I was practically grown up. Or rather, I used to feel that everybody in the world was Jewish, which amounts to the same thing.
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Everything passes. (That's what makes it endurable.)
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I don't believe in miracles because it's been a long time since we've had any.
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But how can one be warm alone?
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When I grow up I want to be a little boy.
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It was miraculous. It was almost no trick at all, he saw, to turn vice into virtue and slander into truth, impotence into abstinence, arrogance into humility, plunder into philanthropy, thievery into honor, blasphemy into wisdom, brutality into patriotism, and sadism into justice. Anybody could do it; it required no brains at all. It merely required no character.
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That's some catch, that Catch-22," he observed. It's the best there is," Doc Daneeka agreed.
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I couldn't see much point in tying myself down to a middle-aged woman with four children, even though the woman was my wife and the children were my own.
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I'm gonna live forever, or die trying.
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The laws of nature are only as immutable as the minds which promote them. Ignorance of the law is 9/10ths of the law. Just because you aren't paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.
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Everyone in my book accuses everyone else of being crazy. Frankly, I think the whole society is nuts - and the question is: What does a sane man do in an insane society?