Eugene Mirman Quotes
I remember the first time I had sex. I wore a cape and goggles... because I didn't know.

Quotes to Explore
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Woman is the dominant sex. Men have to do all sorts of stuff to prove that they are worthy of woman's attention.
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I'm always surprised when actors say they don't like sex scenes. It's like a freebie. It's fun to make out with someone. So yes, thumbs up on that.
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Sex and death, the magnetic poles of fiction, attract us children's writers no less than adult authors, but we have to be more leery of their pull.
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Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.
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They say you can rap about anything except for Jesus, that means guns, sex, lies, video tapes, but if I talk about God my record won't get played Huh?
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Despite the vigorous policy and legal debates surrounding same-sex marriage, there is little disagreement about this: If the United States Supreme Court holds that states must sanction same-sex marriage, then Florida's contrary laws must fall.
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I only gave out my opinion that same sex marriage is against the law of God.
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I remember when I wanted every pitch to be a strike.
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That means that every human being - without distinction of sex, age, race, skin color, language, religion, political view, or national or social origin - possesses an inalienable and untouchable dignity.
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In my day we didn't have sex education, we just picked up what we could off the television.
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To understand the fanatic rejection of women's liberation in the Muslim world, one has to take into account the time factor. Most of us educated women have illiterate mothers. The conservative wave against women in the Muslim world is a defense mechanism against profound changes in both sex roles and the touchy subject of sexual identity.
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In the duel of sex woman fights from a dreadnought and man from an open raft.
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The women's movement hasn't changed my sex life. It wouldn't dare.
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Diamonds are a girl's best friend, and dogs are a man's best friend. Now you know which sex has more sense.
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Sex is the mysticism of materialism and the only possible religion in a materialistic society.
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Sex and older women used to be considered an oxymoron, rarely mentioned in the same breath.
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In Islamic societies, politicians can manipulate almost everything. But thus far, no fundamentalist leader has been able to convince his supporters to renounce Islam's central virtue - the principle of strict equality between human beings, regardless of sex, race, or creed.
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Now the only thing I miss about sex is the cigarette afterward. Next to the first one in the morning, it's the best one of all. It tasted so good that even if I had been frigid I would have pretended otherwise just to be able to smoke it.
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I always think the Sex Pistols and the Ramones as very, very important because they stripped things down.
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Why were we driven out of Paradise? Why did we fall into this gnawing disease of unappeasable dissatisfaction? Not because we sinned. Ah, no. All the animals in Paradise enjoyed the sensual passion of coition. Not because we sinned. But because we got sex into our head.
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Sex was not worth the wait. After we did it, I was kind of like, that's it?
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I went on tour with Beyonce before. I wouldn't mind doing something with her.
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I remember the first time I had sex. I wore a cape and goggles... because I didn't know.