Scott Aukerman Quotes

I probably could be a world-class screenwriter by now if I had spent the kind of work I devote on Comedy Death-Ray to that. But I do okay, in that regard. I mean, my stuff gets bought, so it's all right.

Scott Aukerman

• World
• Comedy
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• Mean

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Quotes to Explore

• I'm a capitalist but one who is smallist and localist, and who favours businesses where owners are still in charge.

  

  Nassim Nicholas Taleb
  • Where
  • Still
  • Charge

• It seems to me that in literature, books have always been answers to other books.

  

  E. L. Doctorow
  • Me
  • Always
  • Literature

• I never give advice unless someone asks me for it. One thing I've learned, and possibly the only advice I have to give, is to not be that person giving out unsolicited advice based on your own personal experience.

  

  Taylor Swift
  • Experience
  • Giving
  • Me

• You should never do anything too much. If you only eat healthy food, that is too much. Success is balance - a banker with no time with his kids, he's not successful. If he doesn't have time to walk his kids to school, that is not success - that is a mistake.

  

  Magnus Scheving
  • Time
  • School
  • Kids

• Warren Beatty once told me that if someone's really stuck on you, find them their next boyfriend. But I could never do that.

  

  Val Kilmer
  • Me
  • Never
  • Find

• America slept because most Americans preferred it that way.

  

  Ferdinand Mount
  • America
  • Way
  • Most

• When George W. Bush entered office, the national debt was $5 trillion. When he left, it was $10 trillion. I think the administration spent too much money.

  

  Ted Cruz
  • Money
  • Think
  • Debt

• New online formats gutted the newspaper-ad business. Why pore over tiny print looking for a job in the want ads when you can tap a few keywords into monster.com, then click through and apply? Why pay a steep per-character rate for a classified when you can hawk a whole garage full of used stuff on EBay or Craigslist for free?

  

  Nathan Myhrvold
  • Why
  • Business
  • Character

• I kinda went through a semi-depression. Honestly. Like, I lost myself.

  

  Laura Bell Bundy
  • Lost
  • Myself
  • Like

• It's just fun to be in Paris.

  

  Nanette Lepore
  • Fun
  • Paris
  • Just

• It would be ridiculous to say I don't want to sell records, but I trust my taste.

  

  Thebe Neruda Kgositsile
  • Want
  • Trust
  • Ridiculous

• I'd love to work with Michael Buble, with Tony Bennett, with Damian Marley, with Andrea Bocelli.

  

  Kat Dahlia
  • Work
  • Love
  • Michael

• The only prize much cared for by the powerful is power.

  

  Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
  • Power
  • Powerful
  • Only

• I can get a black eye, a bloody nose. I can have a bad day in the gym. At the end of the day, I don't have a bad payday, and I don't have a bad night under the lights... I get bumps, bruises... but I don't have a bad night.

  

  Floyd Mayweather, Jr.
  • Bad
  • Night
  • Black

• So long as I'm president, communism will not thrive here.

  

  Ferdinand Marcos
  • Long
  • President
  • Communism

• You can choose a future where more Americans have the chance to gain the skills they need to compete, no matter how old they are or how much money they have. Education was the gateway to opportunity for me. It was the gateway for Michelle. And now more than ever, it is the gateway to a middle-class life.

  

  Barack Obama
  • Life
  • Money
  • Future

• Art indeed is a term referring to the social source and to the social utility of creative acts.

  

  Laura Riding
  • Art
  • Creative
  • Social

• All, or the greatest part of men that have aspired to riches or power, have attained thereunto either by force or fraud, and what they have by craft or cruelty gained, to cover the foulness of their fact, they call purchase, as a name more honest. Howsoever, he that for want of will or wit useth not those means, must rest in servitude and poverty.

  

  Walter Raleigh
  • Men
  • Power
  • Rest

• There is a core value I wanted to illuminate: No matter what kind of family you have - straight, gay, married, single parent, separated, no kids, two kids, 20 kids, whatever - we all go through the human comedy. But if the bonds are strong enough, and the desire is there, you can get to the other side, still together and still a family.

  

  Lisa Cholodenko
  • Family
  • Kids
  • Together

• We use the same possessive pronouns for everything, but do we own our lives or sisters or husbands in the same way we own our shoes? Do we own any of them at all?

  

  Samantha Harvey
  • Way
  • Shoes
  • Same

• Damien is a friend. Their boy-girl Lego doesn't click, he would say.

  

  William Gibson
  • Girl
  • Boy
  • Clicks

• My book has a very simple surface, but there are layers of irony and paradox all the way through it.

  

  Mark Haddon
  • Book
  • Simple

• I probably could be a world-class screenwriter by now if I had spent the kind of work I devote on Comedy Death-Ray to that. But I do okay, in that regard. I mean, my stuff gets bought, so it's all right.

  

  Scott Aukerman
  • World
  • Comedy
  • Kind