Scott Aukerman Quotes
I probably could be a world-class screenwriter by now if I had spent the kind of work I devote on Comedy Death-Ray to that. But I do okay, in that regard. I mean, my stuff gets bought, so it's all right.

Quotes to Explore
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I'm a capitalist but one who is smallist and localist, and who favours businesses where owners are still in charge.
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It seems to me that in literature, books have always been answers to other books.
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I never give advice unless someone asks me for it. One thing I've learned, and possibly the only advice I have to give, is to not be that person giving out unsolicited advice based on your own personal experience.
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You should never do anything too much. If you only eat healthy food, that is too much. Success is balance - a banker with no time with his kids, he's not successful. If he doesn't have time to walk his kids to school, that is not success - that is a mistake.
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Warren Beatty once told me that if someone's really stuck on you, find them their next boyfriend. But I could never do that.
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America slept because most Americans preferred it that way.
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When George W. Bush entered office, the national debt was $5 trillion. When he left, it was $10 trillion. I think the administration spent too much money.
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You won't find me in a romantic comedy. Those movies don't speak to me. People don't come to talk to me about those scripts, because they probably think I'm this dark, twisted, miserable person.
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New online formats gutted the newspaper-ad business. Why pore over tiny print looking for a job in the want ads when you can tap a few keywords into monster.com, then click through and apply? Why pay a steep per-character rate for a classified when you can hawk a whole garage full of used stuff on EBay or Craigslist for free?
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I kinda went through a semi-depression. Honestly. Like, I lost myself.
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It's just fun to be in Paris.
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It would be ridiculous to say I don't want to sell records, but I trust my taste.
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I'd love to work with Michael Buble, with Tony Bennett, with Damian Marley, with Andrea Bocelli.
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The only prize much cared for by the powerful is power.
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I can get a black eye, a bloody nose. I can have a bad day in the gym. At the end of the day, I don't have a bad payday, and I don't have a bad night under the lights... I get bumps, bruises... but I don't have a bad night.
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So long as I'm president, communism will not thrive here.
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You can choose a future where more Americans have the chance to gain the skills they need to compete, no matter how old they are or how much money they have. Education was the gateway to opportunity for me. It was the gateway for Michelle. And now more than ever, it is the gateway to a middle-class life.
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Art indeed is a term referring to the social source and to the social utility of creative acts.
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We have actively sought and are actively seeking to make the United Nations an effective instrument of international cooperation.
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We have never meddled in the domestic affairs of any state and we never will.
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And what I'm interested in is investing in people.
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Perhaps the single most effective antagonist of American business is Ralph Nader, who - thanks largely to the media - has become a legend in his own time and an idol of millions of Americans.
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I know that God is working through me within this sport. I know He's put me here for a purpose and it's not just to win medals. Winning is great and hopefully it gives me a platform to spread His love and spread His Word, but at the end of the day, I'm called to do what He wants me to do.
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I probably could be a world-class screenwriter by now if I had spent the kind of work I devote on Comedy Death-Ray to that. But I do okay, in that regard. I mean, my stuff gets bought, so it's all right.