Scott Aukerman Quotes
I probably could be a world-class screenwriter by now if I had spent the kind of work I devote on Comedy Death-Ray to that. But I do okay, in that regard. I mean, my stuff gets bought, so it's all right.

Quotes to Explore
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I'm a capitalist but one who is smallist and localist, and who favours businesses where owners are still in charge.
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It seems to me that in literature, books have always been answers to other books.
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I never give advice unless someone asks me for it. One thing I've learned, and possibly the only advice I have to give, is to not be that person giving out unsolicited advice based on your own personal experience.
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You should never do anything too much. If you only eat healthy food, that is too much. Success is balance - a banker with no time with his kids, he's not successful. If he doesn't have time to walk his kids to school, that is not success - that is a mistake.
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Warren Beatty once told me that if someone's really stuck on you, find them their next boyfriend. But I could never do that.
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America slept because most Americans preferred it that way.
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When George W. Bush entered office, the national debt was $5 trillion. When he left, it was $10 trillion. I think the administration spent too much money.
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New online formats gutted the newspaper-ad business. Why pore over tiny print looking for a job in the want ads when you can tap a few keywords into monster.com, then click through and apply? Why pay a steep per-character rate for a classified when you can hawk a whole garage full of used stuff on EBay or Craigslist for free?
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I kinda went through a semi-depression. Honestly. Like, I lost myself.
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It's just fun to be in Paris.
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It would be ridiculous to say I don't want to sell records, but I trust my taste.
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I'd love to work with Michael Buble, with Tony Bennett, with Damian Marley, with Andrea Bocelli.
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The only prize much cared for by the powerful is power.
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I can get a black eye, a bloody nose. I can have a bad day in the gym. At the end of the day, I don't have a bad payday, and I don't have a bad night under the lights... I get bumps, bruises... but I don't have a bad night.
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So long as I'm president, communism will not thrive here.
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You can choose a future where more Americans have the chance to gain the skills they need to compete, no matter how old they are or how much money they have. Education was the gateway to opportunity for me. It was the gateway for Michelle. And now more than ever, it is the gateway to a middle-class life.
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Art indeed is a term referring to the social source and to the social utility of creative acts.
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All, or the greatest part of men that have aspired to riches or power, have attained thereunto either by force or fraud, and what they have by craft or cruelty gained, to cover the foulness of their fact, they call purchase, as a name more honest. Howsoever, he that for want of will or wit useth not those means, must rest in servitude and poverty.
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Step through new doors. The majority of the time there's something fantastic on the other side.
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Mistreating your drum set is just one step below child abuse
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I was not meant to go deer hunting every fall.
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I was offered a lot of supporting crazy parts in comedies because that's all I had done.
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I probably could be a world-class screenwriter by now if I had spent the kind of work I devote on Comedy Death-Ray to that. But I do okay, in that regard. I mean, my stuff gets bought, so it's all right.