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I feel no obligation to teach my readers anything, to impart any sort of wisdom, to teach any sort of lesson, to instill any sort of morality. All I'm trying to do is make them and their parents laugh.
Michael Ian Black -
When you're writing something, and you're putting yourself out there, or you're performing and someone comes in and savages that, then of course it feels personal. It doesn't feel like it's just business, because there's no business - it's not like we're conducting business, this anonymous critic and I. It's just that this person is tearing me a new asshole.
Michael Ian Black
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The things I care about are the most pedestrian things in the world. I care about good ice cream and being a good dad and a decent husband.
Michael Ian Black -
As an actor, you can show up on a set and be on a TV show for three or four years, or whatever it is and, by the end of it, you just want to do something else.
Michael Ian Black -
There is no word for feeling nostalgic about the future, but that's what a parent's tears often are, a nostalgia for something that has not yet occurred. They are the pain of hope, the helplessness of hope, and finally, the surrender to hope.
Michael Ian Black -
I don't chase after things, but I put forward the effort and know the rest of it is out of my hands.
Michael Ian Black -
I can be a snarky Asshole, or I can be sort of mentally impaired. It's very hard for me to just be normal human being.
Michael Ian Black -
I think people just love to win.
Michael Ian Black
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The thing about narcissistic people is that they don't think they're being narcissistic.
Michael Ian Black -
I don't necessarily self-identify as a writer, 'cause it implies a certain level of intelligence.
Michael Ian Black -
My goal is to work. That's the goal of most actors or performers: to work and keep working, and do the best you can, and keep growing and changing, trying to improve your craft.
Michael Ian Black -
My process is surprisingly straightforward. I find myself with little to do over a stretch of time and I say, "I should write children's books today." Then I sit down and write a children's book, and if it takes more than, realistically, three hours, I feel like I've done something wrong.
Michael Ian Black -
The Atkins' diet is where you eat bacon for six or seven months...and the end result is that you lose weight. Because you're dead.
Michael Ian Black -
If you say "I'm going to be an actor, but I'll get a teaching degree just in case," when things get hard, you'll just be a teacher and that's how you get stuck.
Michael Ian Black
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All my friends were girls. Then my mom's strident feminism for years where men were thought of as the enemy, I just didn't know what the right way to be a man was.
Michael Ian Black -
I'll never admit that I'm an actor, because the next horrible follow-up question is always, "Oh, what have I seen you in?"
Michael Ian Black -
Part of what's exciting to me about my career is the constant looking forward. Whenever I finish one project, I am looking to what's next.
Michael Ian Black -
I think people hate me pretty much across the board, which is nice.
Michael Ian Black -
I don't really read children's books or deal with children's books, so I don't have any relationship with them other than my own.
Michael Ian Black -
Hosting a show, even a talk show or a game show, there's so much business you have to conduct. There's so much guiding you have to do.
Michael Ian Black