Ray Romano Quotes
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You don't want to shock them and do something totally opposite, but you also want to play a different character.
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Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You'll realize this as soon as they're born, and they start using sleep deprivation to break you.
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People are going to see both of us and think it's an Abbott and Costello kind of thing. It's not an easy switch. It's not an easy transition from TV to film.
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The comics that are just conversing with you up there and drawing on their own life, yeah, I guess so. I guess some do political humor, some do topical humor, but the ones that I like, the ones that are appealing to me, were guys who were just talking to you about their life.
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If my father had hugged me even once, I'd be an accountant right now.
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My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning.
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The first time I played golf was in Flushing Meadows, Queens, when I was about 16 or 17. They had an 18-hole pitch-and-putt. My buddies and I would hop the fence and sneak on and play.
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I'm always giving myself the Alzheimer's test. My shrink told me to do this. It takes one minute. You name every word that comes to mind that begins with the letter F.
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Whenever I walk off the golf course, I thank God that I'm able to tell a joke. I thank God I'm good at something.
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I do what I do because I love it.
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It seems to be a common denominator with a lot of comics, this low self-esteem thing.
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Right after 'Raymond' I had a world-is-my-oyster attitude, but I found out I don't like oysters. I had this existential emptiness. 'What is my purpose? Who am I?' I had a big identity crisis.
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Each day it's like: 'How many more days am I going to feel young and vibrant? I feel young and vibrant now, but I also feel the aches and pains a little bit.
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I don't want to be a spokesman for family values, but that's the way my standup is perceived.
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In school, I wasn't a very good student - I was very irresponsible and never did the studying but always liked to get the laugh.
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If I'm really considering doing film from now on then that is the smart thing to do, or you can go either way. You can just do the same character over and over again and make a different comedy like over and over again.
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If golf wasn't enjoyable and there wasn't a lot of humor and enjoyment, even though the game is so frustrating, you would wonder why you put yourself through it.
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I feel like this is a dream - and I apologize for how I dressed some of you.
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I married a saint - well, a saint who curses.
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I've always wondered, what am I going to do that's important with these stupid jokes that I tell.