Norm MacDonald Quotes
Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, that's funny.
Quotes to Explore
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I doubt if you can have a truly wild party without liquor.
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When I was a kid, I wanted a Chanel bob and bangs. My mom said no. I went to the salon anyway, and they said, 'No way - we are not going to do that to your hair.' So I did it myself. Big mistake. Instead of my bangs going down straight, they were sticking up like a cat. It was horrible.
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Guys play basketball and get hurt, and that's probably the easiest sport on the planet. We're actually fighting every day. We're wrestling; we're grappling.
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I'm completely open about the fact that I don't love every genre of metal. I like what I like. It's got to have some vocal quality and some semblance of melody.
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You shouldn't be ashamed of your pain. You have the right to have your pain treated.
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As long as I have a heartbeat, I'm fine. So I just do what I love, and I do it the best that I can. And if it all goes away, I'll just start over.
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If I go out in the open ocean environment, virtually anywhere in the world, and I drag a net from 3,000 feet to the surface, most of the animals - in fact, in many places, 80 to 90 percent of the animals that I bring up in that net - make light. This makes for some pretty spectacular light shows.
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The sky broke like an egg into full sunset and the water caught fire.
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One year, I was a patron of a new opera. It was, to put it kindly, unpleasant to the ear. The friends I went with hated it. Keeping quiet about my contribution, I was outed when one of them, reading the program at the restaurant during dinner, saw my name.
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To the children of yesterday, who have grown up and become parents, and to the children of today, who perhaps shout 'Tottigol,' I'd like to think that, for you, my career has become a fairytale for you to pass on.
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As physics students, we are taught that physicists are smart, that chemists are moderately acceptable, and that biologists are certainly not very intelligent. So I wasn't inclined to take a biology course. But my father insisted, and maybe what he had in mind was that, if there were no jobs in physics, I would end up being a doctor.
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'Oh, Calcutta,' was one of the healthiest shows I've ever been in.
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The piano is a monster that screams when you touch its teeth.
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You have to live with your decisions every day. Why live with one you're uneasy with? 'Because it'll make you money' is a common reply. But I don't think that's good enough.
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I would say what you have to do as a screenwriter is strip the book back to find the skeleton. When you've found the skeleton - that's what you trust - you reclothe.
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The specific steps for changing a specific habit differ from person to person and habit to habit, but the steps - the formula - is essentially the same, and once you learn it, you can do amazing things.
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I use argan oil when I have dry ends. A good hair brush, like a Mason Pearson, is great because it doesn't damage the hair. I like Kerastase shampoo and conditioner best.
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I had a great career. I have no reason to complain. It's the way it goes in nature. You slow down. And I believe I lasted a lot longer than a lot of people.
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We should amuse our evening hours of life in cultivating the tender plants, and bringing them to perfection, before they are transplanted to a happier clime.
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Valentine's Day - a nice holiday because it's the first day of the rest of your wife.
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The most desirable and appropriate solution to piracy is for the United States government to provide protection through military escorts and/or militant detachments aboard U.S. vessels.
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It is an endless procession of surprises. The expected rarely occurs and never in the expected manner.
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My marriage is incredibly important to me. It's the place from which I engage in the world every day, and the place to which I return every day.
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Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, that's funny.
