Norm MacDonald Quotes
Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, that's funny.
Quotes to Explore
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I doubt if you can have a truly wild party without liquor.
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When I was a kid, I wanted a Chanel bob and bangs. My mom said no. I went to the salon anyway, and they said, 'No way - we are not going to do that to your hair.' So I did it myself. Big mistake. Instead of my bangs going down straight, they were sticking up like a cat. It was horrible.
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Guys play basketball and get hurt, and that's probably the easiest sport on the planet. We're actually fighting every day. We're wrestling; we're grappling.
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I'm completely open about the fact that I don't love every genre of metal. I like what I like. It's got to have some vocal quality and some semblance of melody.
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You shouldn't be ashamed of your pain. You have the right to have your pain treated.
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As long as I have a heartbeat, I'm fine. So I just do what I love, and I do it the best that I can. And if it all goes away, I'll just start over.
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If I go out in the open ocean environment, virtually anywhere in the world, and I drag a net from 3,000 feet to the surface, most of the animals - in fact, in many places, 80 to 90 percent of the animals that I bring up in that net - make light. This makes for some pretty spectacular light shows.
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The sky broke like an egg into full sunset and the water caught fire.
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One year, I was a patron of a new opera. It was, to put it kindly, unpleasant to the ear. The friends I went with hated it. Keeping quiet about my contribution, I was outed when one of them, reading the program at the restaurant during dinner, saw my name.
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To the children of yesterday, who have grown up and become parents, and to the children of today, who perhaps shout 'Tottigol,' I'd like to think that, for you, my career has become a fairytale for you to pass on.
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I have fought my own battle with depression, and it was important for me to bring a little awareness about it for others.
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As physics students, we are taught that physicists are smart, that chemists are moderately acceptable, and that biologists are certainly not very intelligent. So I wasn't inclined to take a biology course. But my father insisted, and maybe what he had in mind was that, if there were no jobs in physics, I would end up being a doctor.
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'Oh, Calcutta,' was one of the healthiest shows I've ever been in.
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The piano is a monster that screams when you touch its teeth.
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You have to live with your decisions every day. Why live with one you're uneasy with? 'Because it'll make you money' is a common reply. But I don't think that's good enough.
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I would say what you have to do as a screenwriter is strip the book back to find the skeleton. When you've found the skeleton - that's what you trust - you reclothe.
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The specific steps for changing a specific habit differ from person to person and habit to habit, but the steps - the formula - is essentially the same, and once you learn it, you can do amazing things.
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I use argan oil when I have dry ends. A good hair brush, like a Mason Pearson, is great because it doesn't damage the hair. I like Kerastase shampoo and conditioner best.
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I had a great career. I have no reason to complain. It's the way it goes in nature. You slow down. And I believe I lasted a lot longer than a lot of people.
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To get what you want out of life, all you can really do is find out who you are, and do that.
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I love hot sauce. It can't be hot enough for me.
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I feel that the work that I have done in the comedy arena, is priceless in terms of what I learned, timing, everything that these incredibly talented performers were generous enough in teaching me.
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I think professionally I admire people and the way they've handled their careers and being in the media. But the people that I used to inspire me and keep me going were my peers in Toronto - I would see the same girls going to audition after audition, and their resilience to do it again, and I found that inspiring.
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Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, that's funny.
