Norm MacDonald Quotes
Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, that's funny.
Quotes to Explore
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I doubt if you can have a truly wild party without liquor.
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When I was a kid, I wanted a Chanel bob and bangs. My mom said no. I went to the salon anyway, and they said, 'No way - we are not going to do that to your hair.' So I did it myself. Big mistake. Instead of my bangs going down straight, they were sticking up like a cat. It was horrible.
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Guys play basketball and get hurt, and that's probably the easiest sport on the planet. We're actually fighting every day. We're wrestling; we're grappling.
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I'm completely open about the fact that I don't love every genre of metal. I like what I like. It's got to have some vocal quality and some semblance of melody.
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You shouldn't be ashamed of your pain. You have the right to have your pain treated.
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As long as I have a heartbeat, I'm fine. So I just do what I love, and I do it the best that I can. And if it all goes away, I'll just start over.
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If I go out in the open ocean environment, virtually anywhere in the world, and I drag a net from 3,000 feet to the surface, most of the animals - in fact, in many places, 80 to 90 percent of the animals that I bring up in that net - make light. This makes for some pretty spectacular light shows.
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The sky broke like an egg into full sunset and the water caught fire.
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One year, I was a patron of a new opera. It was, to put it kindly, unpleasant to the ear. The friends I went with hated it. Keeping quiet about my contribution, I was outed when one of them, reading the program at the restaurant during dinner, saw my name.
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To the children of yesterday, who have grown up and become parents, and to the children of today, who perhaps shout 'Tottigol,' I'd like to think that, for you, my career has become a fairytale for you to pass on.
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'Oh, Calcutta,' was one of the healthiest shows I've ever been in.
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You have to live with your decisions every day. Why live with one you're uneasy with? 'Because it'll make you money' is a common reply. But I don't think that's good enough.
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I would say what you have to do as a screenwriter is strip the book back to find the skeleton. When you've found the skeleton - that's what you trust - you reclothe.
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I use argan oil when I have dry ends. A good hair brush, like a Mason Pearson, is great because it doesn't damage the hair. I like Kerastase shampoo and conditioner best.
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I had a great career. I have no reason to complain. It's the way it goes in nature. You slow down. And I believe I lasted a lot longer than a lot of people.
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The beauty of voice-over work is that maybe you come in and record once every two weeks for a couple of hours and do a couple episodes a session. It's awesome! You spend an afternoon playing in the booth, and there you have it. It doesn't interfere with much.
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It's funny, a lot of people think I take myself seriously because I come off so serious sometimes. But it's not that I take myself seriously, I take what I do seriously.
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I am, and ever will be, a white socks, pocket protector, nerdy engineer.
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I would tell Vince McMahon, 'Hey! I'm telling you, I'm going to run this place one day.' And I think Vince likes to hear that. He knew I was motivated. He knew I was hungry.
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I don't have any type of sketch-comedy or stand-up background.
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I go round and round in circles, really, really fast, on a big wooden bowl.
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America under 30 is a more non-whites place than America over 60. And we know that non-whites and whites vote differently.
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Audiences don't want to see the kind of self-indulgent, boring dance that is so prevalent today.
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Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, that's funny.
