Mitch Hedberg Quotes
Do you think I am standing here, making this up as I go? I am sorry to disillusion you. I am not Robin Williams. I am the king of the pen.
Quotes to Explore
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The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated.
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I'm very conscious of other people's opinions and of people not liking me.
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I took the first James Kelman novel, 'The Bus Conductor Hines', home to my dad. I thought, 'My dad will like this; it's written in Scots.' But my dad said: 'I can't read that.' He was reading James Bond and John le Carre. That was part of what attracted me to crime - the idea of getting a wide audience.
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Having a son is not all pleasure.
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Neil Young is the prime example, the grand goal, if you will. He's still shredding, and he never lost his credibility.
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Arafat contradicts himself every five minutes. He always plays the double-cross, lies even if you ask him what time it is.
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Book-learning scarcely tells me Of severe afflictions after death-bed; And such as have heard my bardic books They shall obtain the region of heaven, the best of all abodes.
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Do not allow your dreams of a beautiful world to lure you away from the claims of men who suffer here and now. Our fellow men have a claim to our help; no generation must be sacrificed for the sake of future generations, for the sake of an ideal of happiness that may never be realised.
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You can't prove Rembrandt is better than Norman Rockwell - although if you actually do prefer Rockwell, I'd say you were shunning complexity, were secretly conservative, and hadn't really looked at either painter's work. Taste is a blood sport.
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My brother never got an opportunity to throw a pitch, and I didn't want the same thing to happen to another young kid.
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I inherited my weight problem from my mum. She was always on diets. If there was a box of chocolates in the house, she'd eat half a chocolate, then put the other half back. She loved me, but she did encourage me to diet in my teens.
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Most pitchers are too smart to manage.
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Scales are not allowed in my house.
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I really admire Werner Herzog and Spike Lee. They're amazing documentarians. If you took away all the narratives, they'd just be amazing documentarians.
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I would like to see every parent either directly - if they are comfortable with the technology - or through a personal tutor, being able to access real-time information about their child.
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One of my goals is definitely to motivate the youth towards sports. Whether it's arts or academics, I just want to let them know that anything is possible. To think that I grew up as a WWE fan and now I'm a WWE champion proves that through hard work anything really is possible.
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I put myself into another world and another identity, and I design not for how my life is but for how my imaginary life is.
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Politicians don't really bring up religion in England.
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Prosperity doth bewitch men, seeming clear;But seas do laugh, show white, when rocks are near.
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Everything I am came from my parents. I don't take that much credit for who I am and what I am.
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Reduced to its lowest terms, the great struggle which now rocks the whole earth more and more takes on the character of a struggle of the individual versus the state.
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Bill and Larry The Cable Guy walk by a stone that Bill's neighbor had had 1894, his address, carved into it.
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Do you think I am standing here, making this up as I go? I am sorry to disillusion you. I am not Robin Williams. I am the king of the pen.
