Mitch Hedberg Quotes
Do you think I am standing here, making this up as I go? I am sorry to disillusion you. I am not Robin Williams. I am the king of the pen.
Quotes to Explore
-
The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated.
-
I'm very conscious of other people's opinions and of people not liking me.
-
I took the first James Kelman novel, 'The Bus Conductor Hines', home to my dad. I thought, 'My dad will like this; it's written in Scots.' But my dad said: 'I can't read that.' He was reading James Bond and John le Carre. That was part of what attracted me to crime - the idea of getting a wide audience.
-
Once in my childhood I had been eager to learn Irish; I thought to get leave to take lessons from an old Scripture-reader who spent a part of his time in the parish of Killinane, teaching such scholars as he could find to read their own language in the hope that they might turn to the only book then being printed in Irish, the Bible.
-
Having a son is not all pleasure.
-
Neil Young is the prime example, the grand goal, if you will. He's still shredding, and he never lost his credibility.
-
Arafat contradicts himself every five minutes. He always plays the double-cross, lies even if you ask him what time it is.
-
I first started acting in primary school, just doing little plays. And from the moment I began, something just went 'click' inside me. Suddenly I wasn't shy anymore. Instead I felt confident and happy. I can remember the enormous sense of relief it gave me. I loved the feeling of making people laugh.
-
Book-learning scarcely tells me Of severe afflictions after death-bed; And such as have heard my bardic books They shall obtain the region of heaven, the best of all abodes.
-
Do not allow your dreams of a beautiful world to lure you away from the claims of men who suffer here and now. Our fellow men have a claim to our help; no generation must be sacrificed for the sake of future generations, for the sake of an ideal of happiness that may never be realised.
-
You can't prove Rembrandt is better than Norman Rockwell - although if you actually do prefer Rockwell, I'd say you were shunning complexity, were secretly conservative, and hadn't really looked at either painter's work. Taste is a blood sport.
-
My brother never got an opportunity to throw a pitch, and I didn't want the same thing to happen to another young kid.
-
I inherited my weight problem from my mum. She was always on diets. If there was a box of chocolates in the house, she'd eat half a chocolate, then put the other half back. She loved me, but she did encourage me to diet in my teens.
-
Most pitchers are too smart to manage.
-
Scales are not allowed in my house.
-
I really admire Werner Herzog and Spike Lee. They're amazing documentarians. If you took away all the narratives, they'd just be amazing documentarians.
-
I would like to see every parent either directly - if they are comfortable with the technology - or through a personal tutor, being able to access real-time information about their child.
-
One of my goals is definitely to motivate the youth towards sports. Whether it's arts or academics, I just want to let them know that anything is possible. To think that I grew up as a WWE fan and now I'm a WWE champion proves that through hard work anything really is possible.
-
you will I trust find heaviness may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.
-
Bookstore boss: to Mo The self-service kiosks have enabled us to cut down on staff, but some customers still feel the need to speak to an actual human. That's where you come in.Customer: Excuse me, do you carry Jewish New Year cards?Boss: I'm sorry, our New Years cards don't come in till November. But we'll be getting Jewish Christmas cards then, too!
-
There's a level of self-hatred in giving these people too much power. They're sorry. They're corny. They're hateful. They need some help. Help is on the way. We'll help them whether they like it or not.
-
Even I felt sorry for Richard Nixon when he left; there's nothing you can do about being born liberal - fish gotta swim and hearts gotta bleed.
-
There are always good reasons not to do things, but if you really believe that there’s something you have to do, the universe has a way of making it okay.
-
Do you think I am standing here, making this up as I go? I am sorry to disillusion you. I am not Robin Williams. I am the king of the pen.
