Mitch Hedberg Quotes

Do you think I am standing here, making this up as I go? I am sorry to disillusion you. I am not Robin Williams. I am the king of the pen.

Mitch Hedberg

• Sorry
• Making
• Standing

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Quotes to Explore

• The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated.

  

  H. L. Mencken
  • World
  • Money
  • Value

• I'm very conscious of other people's opinions and of people not liking me.

  

  Jack Whitehall
  • People
  • Me
  • Conscious

• I took the first James Kelman novel, 'The Bus Conductor Hines', home to my dad. I thought, 'My dad will like this; it's written in Scots.' But my dad said: 'I can't read that.' He was reading James Bond and John le Carre. That was part of what attracted me to crime - the idea of getting a wide audience.

  

  Ian Rankin
  • Home
  • Dad
  • Reading

• Once in my childhood I had been eager to learn Irish; I thought to get leave to take lessons from an old Scripture-reader who spent a part of his time in the parish of Killinane, teaching such scholars as he could find to read their own language in the hope that they might turn to the only book then being printed in Irish, the Bible.

  

  Lady Gregory
  • Time
  • Book
  • Hope

• Having a son is not all pleasure.

  

  Yoko Ono
  • Son
  • Pleasure
  • Having

• All I can say is, I don't encourage younger kids to read my books, and actually, the biggest age group on my Facebook page is 25- to 35-year-old women.

  

  Abbi Glines
  • Women
  • Kids
  • Age

• Neil Young is the prime example, the grand goal, if you will. He's still shredding, and he never lost his credibility.

  

  Mac DeMarco
  • Lost
  • Goal
  • Young

• Arafat contradicts himself every five minutes. He always plays the double-cross, lies even if you ask him what time it is.

  

  Oriana Fallaci
  • Time
  • You
  • Always

• I first started acting in primary school, just doing little plays. And from the moment I began, something just went 'click' inside me. Suddenly I wasn't shy anymore. Instead I felt confident and happy. I can remember the enormous sense of relief it gave me. I loved the feeling of making people laugh.

  

  Sally Hawkins
  • People
  • School
  • Remember

• Book-learning scarcely tells me Of severe afflictions after death-bed; And such as have heard my bardic books They shall obtain the region of heaven, the best of all abodes.

  

  Taliesin
  • Book
  • Death
  • Learning

• Do not allow your dreams of a beautiful world to lure you away from the claims of men who suffer here and now. Our fellow men have a claim to our help; no generation must be sacrificed for the sake of future generations, for the sake of an ideal of happiness that may never be realised.

  

  Karl Popper
  • World
  • Men
  • May

• You can't prove Rembrandt is better than Norman Rockwell - although if you actually do prefer Rockwell, I'd say you were shunning complexity, were secretly conservative, and hadn't really looked at either painter's work. Taste is a blood sport.

  

  Jerry Saltz
  • Work

• My brother never got an opportunity to throw a pitch, and I didn't want the same thing to happen to another young kid.

  

  Pedro Martinez
  • Opportunity
  • Brother

• I inherited my weight problem from my mum. She was always on diets. If there was a box of chocolates in the house, she'd eat half a chocolate, then put the other half back. She loved me, but she did encourage me to diet in my teens.

  

  Lesley Nicol
  • She
  • House
  • Chocolate

• Most pitchers are too smart to manage.

  

  Jim Palmer
  • Smart

• Scales are not allowed in my house.

  

  Prince Fielder
  • House

• I really admire Werner Herzog and Spike Lee. They're amazing documentarians. If you took away all the narratives, they'd just be amazing documentarians.

  

  Ava DuVernay
  • Amazing

• I would like to see every parent either directly - if they are comfortable with the technology - or through a personal tutor, being able to access real-time information about their child.

  

  Jim Knight
  • Time
  • Real
  • Technology

• What got me really excited about Tylko is the fact that it bridges the gap between tradition and technology. It expands the designer's ability to create a language, to create ideas, to create a set of proportions, a set of details, and to apply those across a really wide range of applications.

  

  Yves Behar
  • Technology
  • Ideas
  • Language

• Kings govern by popular assemblies only when they cannot do without them.

  

  Charles James Fox
  • Popular

• It was so crazy, lucky, that 'Defiance' and 'Hemlock Grove' was shooting in Toronto at the same time. I got to be on both of them.

  

  Kaniehtiio Horn
  • Time
  • Crazy
  • Same

• My intention always has been to arrive at human contact without enforcing authority. A musician, after all, is not a mili- tary officer. What matters most is human contact. The great mys- tery of music making requires real friendship among those who work together. Every member of the orchestra knows I am with him and her in my heart.

  

  Carlo Maria Giulini
  • Music
  • Friendship
  • Making

• In the '50s and in the '60s, the private insurance system originally was a benefit for the bureaucrats in Germany. And this system became ever bigger because the private insurance industry lobbied successfully for making this system bigger. In the '70s and in the '80s, they managed to find a system where they could take everyone beyond 40,000 euros income per year but didn't have to take everyone. So they only took those that had both high income and a secure job and who was not ill at that time.

  

  Karl Lauterbach
  • Insurance
  • Industry
  • Everyone

• Do you think I am standing here, making this up as I go? I am sorry to disillusion you. I am not Robin Williams. I am the king of the pen.

  

  Mitch Hedberg
  • Sorry
  • Making
  • Standing