Dan Castellaneta Quotes
-
No! No no no no no no! Well, yes.
-
Quiet you kids. If I hear one more word, Bart doesn't get to watch cartoons, and Lisa doesn't get to go to college.
-
I bet Einstein turned himself all sorts of colors before he invented the light bulb.
-
Son, this is the only time I'm ever gonna say this. It is not okay to lose.
-
Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. 14% of people know that.
-
I'm never going to be disabled. I'm sick of being so healthy.
-
I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?
-
Do you want the job done right, or do you want it done fast?
-
Kids, kids. I'm not going to die. That only happens to bad people.
-
Son, when you participate in sporting events, its not whether you win or loose, its how drunk you get.
-
If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling, foxy boxing, and such and such.
-
Oh no! What have I done? I smashed open my little boy's piggy bank, and for what? A few measly cents, not even enough to buy one beer. Wait a minute, lemme count and make sure... not even close.
-
Marge, it's 3 AM. Shouldn't you be cooking or something?
-
Well you know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have to read the manual and press the right button.
-
I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-A-R-T! I mean, S-M-A-R-T!
-
That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college!
-
Kill myself? Killing myself is the last thing I'd ever do. Now I have a purpose, a reason to live. I don't care who I have to face, I don't care who I have to fight, I will not rest until this street gets a stop sign!
-
America's health care system is second only to Japan... Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, ... well all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky stars we don't live in Paraguay!
-
All normal people love meat. If I went to a barbeque and there was no meat, I would say 'Yo Goober! Where's the meat?'. I'm trying to impress people here Lisa. You don't win friends with salad.
-
Press the any key ... hmmm where's the any key?
-
Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.
-
Ah, sweet pity. Where would my love life have been without it?
-
I know what you're saying, Bart. When I was young, I wanted an electric football machine more than anything else in the world, and my parents bought it for me, and it was the happiest day of my life. Well, goodnight.
-
I think Mr. Smithers picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I'm around!