Andy Borowitz Quotes
Quotes to Explore
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My health is fine.
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Success is not like a cake that needs to be divided. It's more like a heap of stones - a cairn. If someone is successful, they add a stone to the cairn. It gets very high and can be seen from all over the world. That's how I see it.
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I hate running. I know I'm curvier - I know I'm small, but I'm not ripped. But I make a choice to be that way. I realize my arms aren't as toned as Halle Berry's but I don't want them to be.
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I know that many authors say editors don't edit anymore, but that's not been true in my experience.
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No civilisation can claim to have a monopoly on universal values and no one can claim to be always faithful to his own values.
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Reconstruction was a vast labor movement of ignorant, muddled, and bewildered white men who had been disinherited of land and labor and fought a long battle with sheer subsistence, hanging on the edge of poverty, eating clay and chasing slaves and now lurching up to manhood.
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True, I am in love with suffering, but I do not know if I deserve the honor.
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My first jobs were all civil service. At 14, I worked for the Canadian National Railways. At 16, I worked for the Canadian Penitentiary Service.
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We talk on principal, but act on motivation.
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A poet is a professional maker of verbal objects.
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At the beginning of the twentieth century, every single leading Muslim intellectual was in love with the west, and wanted their countries to look just like Britain and France.
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What could an unsanctified man do in Heaven, if by any chance he got there? Let that question be fairly looked in the face and fairly answered. No man can possibly be happy in a place where he is not in his element and where all around him is not congenial to his tastes, habits and character.
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The whole voiceover world is new and different to me and quite challenging.
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I've written a song for Prince. I never showed it to Prince, but just to see if I could do it. At the time, when I sort of knew him, he was recording a song a day. I wondered if I could do that. So I wrote it.
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Fashion is a potency in art, making it hard to judge between the temporary and the lasting.
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I find it enormously valuable to be sure that that the pacing is what I think it is and that the scenes have the shape I think they have musically and dramatically.
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My job isn't about pursuing fame and then becoming an actor. It's about becoming an actor, and if fame follows suit, that's fine.
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So I was asked to do horror film after horror film, a series of about five, after that, and some of those were a little too gruesome. I wasn't too comfortable all the time in those. I didn't really care for them.
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Poise the cause in justice's equal scales, Whose beam stands sure, whose rightful cause prevails.
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Nine days after an attack on the United States, this tiny clique of intellectuals Neocons was telling the President of the United States...that if he did not follow their war plans, he would be charged publicly with a 'decisive surrender' to terrorism.
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Her only gift was knowing people almost by instinct, she thought, walking on. If you put her in a room with someone, up went her back like a cat's; or she purred.
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I'm my own biggest marketing tool. I know the history of the business and I might as well capitalize on it.
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Let us be very gentle with our neighbors' failings, and forgive our friends their debts as we hope ourselves to be forgiven.
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Getting your news from Twitter is like asking a cat for directions.
