Wilson Mizner Quotes
The day which we fear as our last is but the bday of eternity. - By SenecaThe first hundred years are the hardest.

Quotes to Explore
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I was the first to advocate the Web. But I am very troubled by this thing that every kid must have a laptop computer. The kids are totally in the computer age. There's a whole new brain operation that's being moulded by the computer.
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To appear on the stage drunk, to have them leave there and remember me making drunken mistakes, that was death.
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I think that the status that you have in life should be reflected in official documents. If you are married, fine, if you are living with someone, fine, if you are single, fine. We don't want to tell people how to live their lives.
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The beauty of Rome is that you can wander into a pizzeria just about anywhere and get a real Italian pizza that's thankfully worlds away from the Super Supreme I used to order at Pizza Hut as a kid.
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I should be European, man. I'm long and lean. I'd look good in a trench coat.
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Nothing is more hopeless than a scheme of merriment.
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The only people who benefit from lawsuits are lawyers. I think we made a couple of them rich.
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We got into music to avoid a job, and get lots of girls.
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When man can "wish away worrying," every desire will be instantly fulfilled.
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I read a comment that made me think I should stop singing for a while. And I didn't want to stop singing, because it was the only thing I loved. At first I thought, "Maybe I'll get better and eventually please the person who wrote about my singing." But then I thought, "I probably will never please this person. I should just do what pleases me."
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The world is a beautiful place to be born into if you don't mind some people dying all the time or maybe only starving some of the time which isn't half so bad if it isn't you.
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Physical training is mental warfare!
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I realized the only thing I owed my audience was my own judgment and my own best effort.
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Wayside school is falling down, falling down, falling down, Wayside school is falling down my fair lady. Kids go splat as they hit the ground, hit the ground, hit the ground, Kids go splat as the hit the ground my fair lady . Broken bones and blood and gore, blood and gore, blood and gore, Broken bones and blood and gore my fair lady. We don't have to go to school no more, school no more, school no more, We don't have to go to school no more my fair lady.
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The clock is running. Make the most of today. Time waits for no man. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it is called the present.
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People don't expect government to solve all their problems. But they sense, deep in their bones, that with just a slight change in priorities, we can make sure that every child in America has a decent shot at life, and that the doors of opportunity remain open to all. They know we can do better.
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Men become old, but they never become good.
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The day which we fear as our last is but the bday of eternity. - By SenecaThe first hundred years are the hardest.