Jackie Mason Quotes
I don't believe that anybody has come to a conclusion on why something is funny. It's funny because it's ridiculous and it's ridiculous for different reasons at different times.

Quotes to Explore
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Dumped? Fired? Scorned? Humiliated? Totally pissed off? If so, I've got great news! You might be on your way to living your best life ever - if you consciously choose to channel this pain into fuel - and use it to motivate yourself to become your highest potential self!
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You have this ability in hip hop to be invincibly cool, and that is a part of G-Eazy.
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I kind of have my little OCD wood shed at my house where everything is just right when I go write.
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The British Museum was our first real museum, the property of the public rather than the monarch or the church.
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I have often said one of the reasons more blacks don't support Republicans is because they don't trust the GOP establishment.
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I like to work out. I work out hard when I get to it, but it's so sporadic, I'm not sure it counts at all! I eat pretty much anything, but I eat high-quality food. There was never a packet of chips or box of candy in my house when I was growing up. Ever.
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I am prepared to oppose a Jim Crow army till I rot in jail.
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My mom and I have always been really close. She's always been the friend that was always there. There were times when, in middle school and junior high, I didn't have a lot of friends. But my mom was always my friend. Always.
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If you're powerful, you are much more likely to be blind and deaf to signals from outside.
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Close friends consider me a literary snob.
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You know, it's always good to have seen a track before, just to kind of know where the little bumps are here and there, and just the general feel for the size.
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She told me that she would support me regardless of what I decided, but I'm so glad that I actually got to be a kid before having to grow up. My mom knows best about this kind of thing.
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A bicycle has transformed my experience of London.
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I don't believe I could work as effectively at what I do without the support of my wife.
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And I will show that nothing can happen more beautiful than death.
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All you have to do is to dream big and try to fulfil it.
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Most people want to become movie stars and I just want to be in the business. I already was a star. If I get the part of a lifetime and it blows up, then that's wonderful. But if the acting doesn't work, fine. I'll just be a producer. And if the producing doesn't work, fine. I've got a lot of other stuff.
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I like to stay home a lot. I like to do other things too, like decorate or build.
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In general, everybody should admit the world is changing really fast, and it's hard for the conversations to keep up. I mean, it's hard to remember now, but when Barack Obama ran for president, he was against gay marriage.
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I am actually a very unspeaking person. I'm not really good in social situations. People expect me to be more outgoing. I don't know why. They think I have this kind of assurance.
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If you persist in your purpose of secession, there will be war - a bloody and cruel war. Not only will the North fight, but she will also triumph. The experiment of secession will fail, and the South, in ruin and desolation, will bitterly repent the day when she attempted to overthrow a wise and beneficent government.
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British aren't really known for their physical loveliness but firemen, generally speaking, are gorgeous.
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We are in this period now where we all are trying to be in shape physically and deny ourselves any pleasure.
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I don't believe that anybody has come to a conclusion on why something is funny. It's funny because it's ridiculous and it's ridiculous for different reasons at different times.