Jackie Mason Quotes
I don't believe that anybody has come to a conclusion on why something is funny. It's funny because it's ridiculous and it's ridiculous for different reasons at different times.

Quotes to Explore
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Dumped? Fired? Scorned? Humiliated? Totally pissed off? If so, I've got great news! You might be on your way to living your best life ever - if you consciously choose to channel this pain into fuel - and use it to motivate yourself to become your highest potential self!
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You have this ability in hip hop to be invincibly cool, and that is a part of G-Eazy.
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When I do retire, I will miss the trips with the team, the jokes with my teammates, the habits: having breakfast with them, playing with them, all the little things.
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I kind of have my little OCD wood shed at my house where everything is just right when I go write.
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The British Museum was our first real museum, the property of the public rather than the monarch or the church.
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I have often said one of the reasons more blacks don't support Republicans is because they don't trust the GOP establishment.
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I like to work out. I work out hard when I get to it, but it's so sporadic, I'm not sure it counts at all! I eat pretty much anything, but I eat high-quality food. There was never a packet of chips or box of candy in my house when I was growing up. Ever.
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I am prepared to oppose a Jim Crow army till I rot in jail.
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My mom and I have always been really close. She's always been the friend that was always there. There were times when, in middle school and junior high, I didn't have a lot of friends. But my mom was always my friend. Always.
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If you're powerful, you are much more likely to be blind and deaf to signals from outside.
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Close friends consider me a literary snob.
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You know, it's always good to have seen a track before, just to kind of know where the little bumps are here and there, and just the general feel for the size.
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She told me that she would support me regardless of what I decided, but I'm so glad that I actually got to be a kid before having to grow up. My mom knows best about this kind of thing.
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A bicycle has transformed my experience of London.
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I don't believe I could work as effectively at what I do without the support of my wife.
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And I will show that nothing can happen more beautiful than death.
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All you have to do is to dream big and try to fulfil it.
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Most people want to become movie stars and I just want to be in the business. I already was a star. If I get the part of a lifetime and it blows up, then that's wonderful. But if the acting doesn't work, fine. I'll just be a producer. And if the producing doesn't work, fine. I've got a lot of other stuff.
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I like to stay home a lot. I like to do other things too, like decorate or build.
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It's a very different thing, religion and faith. Religion is man-made, it's man-regulated. And faith, you can define God as you wish. But I think they're two different things.
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I have two children who died before reaching 30, so who am I to complain about being alive?
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In my divorce, I stood up and said to my ex-wife, 'Hey, I messed up. This had nothing to do with you. I didn't understand what marriage was. I cheated. I was wrong. We couldn't fix it; it got worse. I stepped away because I didn't want it to get any worse. You're the mother of my kids - I don't want to hate you.'
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I don't believe that anybody has come to a conclusion on why something is funny. It's funny because it's ridiculous and it's ridiculous for different reasons at different times.