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Words were different when they lived inside of you.
Benjamin Alire Saenz
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I thought of what my mom had said. "You talk like a man." It was easier to talk like a man than to be one.
Benjamin Alire Saenz
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There was so little difference between a fist that was trying to hold everything in and the fist that was ready to release all its frustration and rage.
Benjamin Alire Saenz
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I'm trying not to be ashamed...
Benjamin Alire Saenz
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Maybe we don’t always know what we have inside us.
Benjamin Alire Saenz
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I wondered if happiness would go away when she died.
Benjamin Alire Saenz
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Maybe it had to be that way. Maybe she’d had to fight for everything, so the fight in her was permanent—like a scar or an immutable tattoo.
Benjamin Alire Saenz
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You belong everywhere you go. That’s just how you are.
Benjamin Alire Saenz
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People were wired to hell. He wanted to growl like a rabid mastiff when he heard someone say, "The body is a machine." What asshole thought of that? Screwed up and angry and wanting love, fucking desperate to get it and not knowing how to get it, and willing to do anything just to get a taste of it. Or worse, striking out because you couldn't get it-all that love you wanted. The body was not a machine. Machines and computers, he could deal with. There was always a solution for the problem. What was the solution for him?
Benjamin Alire Saenz
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Maybe the problem between me and my father was that we were both the same.
Benjamin Alire Saenz
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When you do something, you have to know exactly what you're doing.
Benjamin Alire Saenz
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I wondered if that’s what death sounded like. Like a snowflake falling on the ground.
Benjamin Alire Saenz
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My mom, she sometimes resided in the space between irony and sincerity.
Benjamin Alire Saenz
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I was in love with the innocence of dogs, the purity of their affection. They didn't know enough to hide their feelings. They existed. A dog was a dog. There was such a simple elegance about being a dog that I envied.
Benjamin Alire Saenz
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You can't make anyone be an adult. Especially an adult.
Benjamin Alire Saenz
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It was good to laugh. I wanted to laugh and laugh and laugh until I laughed myself into becoming someone else. The really great thing about laughing was that it made me forget about the strange and awful feeling in my legs. Even if it was only for a minute.
Benjamin Alire Saenz
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..and I thought it was nice that they knew how to talk and how to laugh and how to be in the world.
Benjamin Alire Saenz
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No one can run from a storm.
Benjamin Alire Saenz
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Maybe this will be the summer when there is nothing but laughter. Maybe this will be the summer.
Benjamin Alire Saenz
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People have parties because they’re sad. They think a party will make them happy.
Benjamin Alire Saenz
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She looked into my eyes. I wanted to look away. But I didn't. Her eyes were like the night sky in the desert. It felt like there was a whole world living inside her. I didn't know anything about that world.
Benjamin Alire Saenz
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I sometimes think that I don't let myself know what I'm really thinking about. That doesn't make much sense but it makes sense to me. I have this idea that the reason we have dreams is that we're thinking about things that we don't know we're thinking about—and those things, well, they sneak out of us in our dreams. Maybe we're like tires with too much air in them. The air has to leak out. That's what dreams are.
Benjamin Alire Saenz
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He didn’t know anyone could cry like that. A wind was coming from inside her.
Benjamin Alire Saenz
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Maybe that wasn't logical, but maybe the thing we call logic is overrated.
Benjamin Alire Saenz
