Carlos Mencia Quotes
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Great soul of Gandhi, cover your ears. You will not want to hear this! Listen, you inbred piece of Ku Klux Krap! You white people love to be racist, but the only races you can tell apart are Indianapolis and Daytona. I hope I am reincarnated as toothpaste, so I never have to see you again. Now take your twelve-pack of wife-beating juice and get the park out of my store!
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I'm glad Hurricane Katrina happened. It taught us an important lesson: black people can't swim.
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Racism is exclusion, that's why I make fun of everybody.
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I never, nor will I, put another person down to feel better about myself. I will live and die by what I do, not what anyone else thinks about me.
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I'll admit it, the Holocaust was definitely a bad thing, but do we really need Jewish people around? They have big noses. I said it! I said it!
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The essence of what makes life beautiful is the fact that it can go away.
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In Texas, if your name is Carlos, you're a Mexican. In Florida, you're a Cuban. In New York, you're a Puerto Rican. And I come here and I find out I'm an Eskimo.
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When it comes to my daughter, I'm a conservative. But when it comes to your daughter, I'm a liberal!
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What I say is stupid. Who takes a comedian seriously? I'm doing sophisticated knock-knock jokes.
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Why did the 14-year old Mexican girl end up pregnant? Because her teacher told her to go do an essay.
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My brain is very simple. Like when you break everything down. I see things in a simple way. And that simplicity for some reason becomes funny to other people because they don't look at it that way.
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Do not encourage my behaviour.