Carlos Mencia Quotes
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I grew up in the projects and I know how important it is for kids to have hope.
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When it comes to my daughter, I'm a conservative. But when it comes to your daughter, I'm a liberal!
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When I go onstage, I don't know what I'm going to say. I don't know what's going to come out of my mouth. It's one of those questions where any and everything is possible. I literally could be talking about somebody I was hanging out with two seconds ago or something from the news. Literally, there's really no rhyme or reason for it. I want to be free flowing like that.
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What I say is stupid. Who takes a comedian seriously? I'm doing sophisticated knock-knock jokes.
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The essence of what makes life beautiful is the fact that it can go away.
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In Texas, if your name is Carlos, you're a Mexican. In Florida, you're a Cuban. In New York, you're a Puerto Rican. And I come here and I find out I'm an Eskimo.
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My brain is very simple. Like when you break everything down. I see things in a simple way. And that simplicity for some reason becomes funny to other people because they don't look at it that way.
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I'm glad Hurricane Katrina happened. It taught us an important lesson: black people can't swim.
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Why did the 14-year old Mexican girl end up pregnant? Because her teacher told her to go do an essay.
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I'll admit it, the Holocaust was definitely a bad thing, but do we really need Jewish people around? They have big noses. I said it! I said it!
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I never, nor will I, put another person down to feel better about myself. I will live and die by what I do, not what anyone else thinks about me.
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Do not encourage my behaviour.