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The Bible is very clear about one thing: Using politics to create fairness is a sin.
P. J. O'Rourke -
Maybe climate change is a threat, and maybe climate change has been tarted up by climatologists trolling for research grant cash. It doesn't matter.
P. J. O'Rourke
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Only a few good leaders have paused to reflect seriously on being leaders.
P. J. O'Rourke -
The number of American presidential candidates varies with the sunspot cycle and the phases of the moon.
P. J. O'Rourke -
The great apologist has to have lived large and wild. If he's going to kiss the world's boo-boos and make up, he'd better plant some bruises first. A master apologizer has to be a Lord Byron, a Rick in Casablanca, a Lee Atwater, anyway.
P. J. O'Rourke -
Disney's Tomorrowland is deeply, thoroughly, almost furiously unimaginative.
P. J. O'Rourke -
Lyndon Johnson faced some clear moral issues.
P. J. O'Rourke -
The purpose of the Senate is to keep 100 middle aged knuckleheads out of the private sector where they can do real harm.
P. J. O'Rourke
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If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.
P. J. O'Rourke -
Man developed in Africa. He has not continued to do so there.
P. J. O'Rourke -
No humorist is under any obligation to provide answers and probably if you were to delve into the literary history of humour it's probably all about not providing answers because the humorist essentially says: this is the way things are.
P. J. O'Rourke -
The Afghans themselves say that if you put two Afghans in a room, you get three factions.
P. J. O'Rourke -
Soldiers are not policemen, and it's very unfair, even for those soldiers who have some police training, to burden them with police duties. It's not what they're trained for, or equipped for.
P. J. O'Rourke -
Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them on us.
P. J. O'Rourke
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Never wear anything that panics the cat.
P. J. O'Rourke -
When I'm in the car, I want the only one shouting to be me.
P. J. O'Rourke -
I am a student of stupidity. I am a political reporter.
P. J. O'Rourke -
The car provided Americans with an enviable standard of living. You could not get a steady job with high wages and health and retirement benefits working on the General Livestock Corporation assembly line putting udders on cows.
P. J. O'Rourke -
Computers seem a little too adaptively flexible, like the strange natives, odd societies, and head cases we study in the social sciences. There's more opposable thumb in the digital world than I care for; it's awfully close to human.
P. J. O'Rourke -
Stupid is a great force in human affairs.
P. J. O'Rourke
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There are a number of Americans who shouldn't vote. The number is 57 percent, to judge by the combined total of Clinton and Perot ballots in the 1996 presidential election.
P. J. O'Rourke -
When I left the Lampoon, I went west to try that out, and discovered that I hated it.They were awful people turning out awful product .
P. J. O'Rourke -
Positive rights are the right to shelter, the right to education, the right to health care, the right to a living wage. These things are - these are, I would call them, more properly, political rights rather than positive rights. And they are extremely tricky, because now we are dealing with things that are zero sum.
P. J. O'Rourke -
Philosophy was once considered science.
P. J. O'Rourke