P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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In the Soviet Union, no industry went under until they all did.
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I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes.
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I think it's always easy to be sympathetic to parts of the government in detail; in their concrete manifestations. Because obviously, we don't have government for no reason.
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Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.
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What is obnoxious about the motives of politicians - whatever those motives may be - is that politicians must announce their motives as visionary and grand.
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Arab-led Islamic fundamentalism destabilizes nations from Algeria to the Philippines.
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I'm a member of the 1960s generation. We didn't have any wisdom.
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Whatever the occasion, do not neglect alcohol. No other refreshment will do. Yes, alcohol kills brain cells, but it's very selective. It only kills the brain cells that contain good sense, shame, embarrassment, and restraint.
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The Bible is very clear about one thing: Using politics to create fairness is a sin.
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We also have a lot of the same influences - we both read a lot of the beatniks. And yet what we actually do is almost exactly the opposite. His [ Hunter S. Thompson] political stuff is just wonderful, but basically nothing happens.
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Nancy Pelosi says the angry opposition to health care reform is like the angry opposition to gay rights that led to Harvey Milk being shot.
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The Afghans themselves say that if you put two Afghans in a room, you get three factions.
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I do have to travel a lot for speaking engagements.
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Gambling is so pervasive in Nevada that maybe the state should just go the whole hog. There'd be gum machines that dispensed chewing tobacco if you lost. You could gamble for the toilet paper in public bathroom stalls. And fill out Keno cards in an attempt to win cancer therapy at the hospital.
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If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.
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As murderous industrial magnates go, Alfred Nobel is right up there with Ray Kroc, franchiser of McDonald's.
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Very little is known of the Canadian country since it is rarely visited by anyone but the Queen and illiterate sport fishermen.
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Never wear anything that panics the cat.
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I like Michael Moore, but I think of him more as a rabble-rouser. On his TV show, when he went to the home of the guy who invented the car alarm and set off all the car alarms on the block... pretty funny.
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We had a choice between Democrats who couldn't learn from the past and Republicans who couldn't stop living in it.
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People who are wise, good, smart, skillful, or hardworking don't need politics, they have jobs.
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I look around my house, and everything except the kids and dogs was made in China. And I'm not sure about the kids. They have brown eyes and small noses.
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People are always angry at America. They're absolutely certain that America either caused their problems or is deliberately not fixing their problems. But the anger is always directed at America and never at Americans.
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There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.