P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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The problem isn't a Congress that won't cut spending or a president who won't raise taxes. The problem is an American public with a bottomless sense of entitlement to federal money.
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Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.
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I like Michael Moore, but I think of him more as a rabble-rouser. On his TV show, when he went to the home of the guy who invented the car alarm and set off all the car alarms on the block... pretty funny.
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No humorist is under any obligation to provide answers and probably if you were to delve into the literary history of humour it's probably all about not providing answers because the humorist essentially says: this is the way things are.
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As murderous industrial magnates go, Alfred Nobel is right up there with Ray Kroc, franchiser of McDonald's.
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It could be that all awful dictators are frustrated artists - Mao with his poetry and Mussolini with his monuments. Stalin was once a journalistic hack, and I can personally testify to how frustrated they are. Pol Pot left a very edgy photo collection behind. And Osama seems quite interested in video.
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I am a student of stupidity. I am a political reporter.
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It is important to remember when making jokes about women, that they are not a minority. They weren't captured on another continent and brought here in leg-irons (funny shoes, yes, but not leg-irons) and Hitler didn't blame them for Germany's loss in WWI. Therefore, you can make any kind of fun of them you want.
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The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.
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Rahm Emanuel is, we are almost certain, a vampire.
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Teasing and a sense of humor, if you can develop that in your kids, and if you can exercise it with the kids, just makes for a pleasanter atmosphere.
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There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.
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I am no stranger to loud noise. I've been to a Mitch Ryder and the Detroit Wheels concert. I once dated a woman with two kids.
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In its worse forms, conservatism is a matter of 'I hate strangers and anything that's different.'
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Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs.
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People love to be told what they know already.
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Seriousness is stupidity sent to college.
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Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy.
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The Tea Party has definitely increased political involvement, not only among Tea Party members but among people who oppose the Tea Party members. It's been a general stimulus.
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You can't get rid of poverty by giving people money.
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When elites see a homeless person in the gutter, they assume he's saving a parking place.
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I have no idea if some societies, anthropologically speaking, aren't really suited for democracy. I don't think that's true.
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As a nation, Kuwait has been, arguably, free of freedom itself. Claimed in turn by Constantinople, Riyadh, and Baghdad, Kuwait has survived by playing Turks off Persians, Arabs off one another, and the English off everyone.
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Detroit's industrial ruins are picturesque, like crumbling Rome in an 18th-century etching.