P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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I am no stranger to loud noise. I've been to a Mitch Ryder and the Detroit Wheels concert. I once dated a woman with two kids.
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Seriousness is stupidity sent to college.
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Greatest generation came through some stuff that we can't even imagine - the Depression, World War I - and all they wanted after that was a breather and a calm and a quiet life, and they get us.
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As murderous industrial magnates go, Alfred Nobel is right up there with Ray Kroc, franchiser of McDonald's.
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Rahm Emanuel is, we are almost certain, a vampire.
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It could be that all awful dictators are frustrated artists - Mao with his poetry and Mussolini with his monuments. Stalin was once a journalistic hack, and I can personally testify to how frustrated they are. Pol Pot left a very edgy photo collection behind. And Osama seems quite interested in video.
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There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.
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I like Michael Moore, but I think of him more as a rabble-rouser. On his TV show, when he went to the home of the guy who invented the car alarm and set off all the car alarms on the block... pretty funny.
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The old woman was not only ugly with the ugliness age brings us all but showed signs of formidable ugliness by birth - pickle-jar chin, mainsail ears and a nose like a trigonometry problem. What's more, she had the deep frown and snit wrinkles that come from a lifetime of bad character.
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Philosophy was once considered science.
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When I left the Lampoon, I went west to try that out, and discovered that I hated it.They were awful people turning out awful product .
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The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.
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When elites see a homeless person in the gutter, they assume he's saving a parking place.
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As a nation, Kuwait has been, arguably, free of freedom itself. Claimed in turn by Constantinople, Riyadh, and Baghdad, Kuwait has survived by playing Turks off Persians, Arabs off one another, and the English off everyone.
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Teasing and a sense of humor, if you can develop that in your kids, and if you can exercise it with the kids, just makes for a pleasanter atmosphere.
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You can't get rid of poverty by giving people money.
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The Tea Party has definitely increased political involvement, not only among Tea Party members but among people who oppose the Tea Party members. It's been a general stimulus.
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Detroit's industrial ruins are picturesque, like crumbling Rome in an 18th-century etching.
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We've come into the world of '1984,' but it turns out to be '1984'-Lite.
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People love to be told what they know already.
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The idea of a news broadcast once was to find someone with information and broadcast it. The idea now is to find someone with ignorance and spread it around.
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The 18,000 NASA employees are full of galactic talents and abilities and are ready to accomplish whatever they're directed to do.
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Everybody in America who didn't come over the Bering Strait ice bridge stole his land from somebody else.
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The young are adept at learning, but even more adept at avoiding it.