P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.
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As murderous industrial magnates go, Alfred Nobel is right up there with Ray Kroc, franchiser of McDonald's.
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I am no stranger to loud noise. I've been to a Mitch Ryder and the Detroit Wheels concert. I once dated a woman with two kids.
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Rahm Emanuel is, we are almost certain, a vampire.
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I am a student of stupidity. I am a political reporter.
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I like Michael Moore, but I think of him more as a rabble-rouser. On his TV show, when he went to the home of the guy who invented the car alarm and set off all the car alarms on the block... pretty funny.
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It could be that all awful dictators are frustrated artists - Mao with his poetry and Mussolini with his monuments. Stalin was once a journalistic hack, and I can personally testify to how frustrated they are. Pol Pot left a very edgy photo collection behind. And Osama seems quite interested in video.
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Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs.
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I look around my house, and everything except the kids and dogs was made in China. And I'm not sure about the kids. They have brown eyes and small noses.
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Man developed in Africa. He has not continued to do so there.
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As a nation, Kuwait has been, arguably, free of freedom itself. Claimed in turn by Constantinople, Riyadh, and Baghdad, Kuwait has survived by playing Turks off Persians, Arabs off one another, and the English off everyone.
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There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.
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Teasing and a sense of humor, if you can develop that in your kids, and if you can exercise it with the kids, just makes for a pleasanter atmosphere.
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The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.
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Seriousness is stupidity sent to college.
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When elites see a homeless person in the gutter, they assume he's saving a parking place.
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We've come into the world of '1984,' but it turns out to be '1984'-Lite.
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When I left the Lampoon, I went west to try that out, and discovered that I hated it.They were awful people turning out awful product .
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Detroit's industrial ruins are picturesque, like crumbling Rome in an 18th-century etching.
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People love to be told what they know already.
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The problem isn't a Congress that won't cut spending or a president who won't raise taxes. The problem is an American public with a bottomless sense of entitlement to federal money.
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You can't get rid of poverty by giving people money.
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The young are adept at learning, but even more adept at avoiding it.
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The Tea Party has definitely increased political involvement, not only among Tea Party members but among people who oppose the Tea Party members. It's been a general stimulus.