P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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I am a student of stupidity. I am a political reporter.
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The number of American presidential candidates varies with the sunspot cycle and the phases of the moon.
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How did an allegedly free people spawn a vast, rampant cuttlefish of dominion with its tentacles in every orifice of the body politic?
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We did not become libertarians because we are altruists.
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Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.
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Lyndon Johnson faced some clear moral issues.
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Maybe a vague president and an incompetent and somewhat corrupt administration is what the nation needs.
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People love to be told what they know already.
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The Nobel Peace Prize has always been a joke - albeit a grim one. Alfred Bernhard Nobel famously invented dynamite and felt sorry about it.
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Some jobs are worse than actual wives. Ad agency vs. Matrimony, for instance: Even the most capricious and demanding spouse is not going to divorce you for refusing to spend forty hours a week making up lies about toilet paper.
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The idea of a news broadcast once was to find someone with information and broadcast it. The idea now is to find someone with ignorance and spread it around.
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Of course, no one wants to ban the vote. Voting should remain available for sporting and recreational purposes. But certain types of votes clearly should be curtailed - 'assault votes,' for example, in which the only purpose of the vote is to harm others.
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The Tea Party has definitely increased political involvement, not only among Tea Party members but among people who oppose the Tea Party members. It's been a general stimulus.
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No humorist is under any obligation to provide answers and probably if you were to delve into the literary history of humour it's probably all about not providing answers because the humorist essentially says: this is the way things are.
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Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy.
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All change is bad. But sometimes it has to be done.
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Government is a health hazard. Governments have killed many more people than cigarettes or unbuckled seat belts ever have.
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Stupid is a great force in human affairs.
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Rahm Emanuel is, we are almost certain, a vampire.
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Are you a Democrat because you're a union member? Then why, after eight years of Bill Clinton, does some Chinese guy in Guangdong province have your job?
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When elites see a homeless person in the gutter, they assume he's saving a parking place.
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More modern poetry is written than read.
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People are always angry at America. They're absolutely certain that America either caused their problems or is deliberately not fixing their problems. But the anger is always directed at America and never at Americans.
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No industry in living memory has collapsed faster than daily print journalism.