P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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I've got a 1990 Porsche 911. It's just a Carrera, a very simple, straightforward little thing that goes like stink. I love it.
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Barack Obama is more irritating than the other nuisances on the Left.
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Some jobs are worse than actual wives. Ad agency vs. Matrimony, for instance: Even the most capricious and demanding spouse is not going to divorce you for refusing to spend forty hours a week making up lies about toilet paper.
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No humorist is under any obligation to provide answers and probably if you were to delve into the literary history of humour it's probably all about not providing answers because the humorist essentially says: this is the way things are.
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I think every high school student who was alert during the early '60s got very embittered by the slow progress and the violence surrounding the Civil Rights Movement.
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You don't despair about something like the Middle East, you just do the best you can.
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The 18,000 NASA employees are full of galactic talents and abilities and are ready to accomplish whatever they're directed to do.
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Why do elites hate the poor? It's xenophobia. They don't know any poor people - except their off-the-books Brazilian nanny and illegal immigrant cleaning lady from Upper Revolta who don't speak English.
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Seriousness is stupidity sent to college.
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Once you've built the big machinery of political power, remember you won't always be the one to run it.
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The prevalence of mobile homes does not correspond with the prevalence of poverty, or with much of anything else. All that can be confidently said about America's mobile homes is that they are massed in places where you wouldn't want to be in one. Florida's mobile homes lie athwart the path of hurricanes. Georgia's are in the way of tornadoes.
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Detroit's industrial ruins are picturesque, like crumbling Rome in an 18th-century etching.
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Stupid is a great force in human affairs.
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What would annoy the most people most often? That is the true left-wing test of government intervention.
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Agriculture is a business that has been up to its bib overalls in politics since the first Thanksgiving dinner kickback to the Indians for subsidizing Pilgrim maize production with fish head fertilizer grants.
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[Friedrich] Hayek is not protesting that things like child labor and stuff are good. He's just trying to show that when government undertakes to make everything good for everybody, this is what happens. And he addresses it to socialists of all parties.
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In theory, taxes should be like shopping. What I buy is government services. What I pay are my taxes.
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Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.
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Californians devised a system of electricity sales that ignored every dimension of the free market.
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I knew Hunter Thompson since the '70s, and I loved him, but he would wear me out as I got older.
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Richard Nixon was the best thing that ever happened to journalism. I mean this guy was wonderful. Just when you thought he could get no worse, he got worse.
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It is important to remember when making jokes about women, that they are not a minority. They weren't captured on another continent and brought here in leg-irons (funny shoes, yes, but not leg-irons) and Hitler didn't blame them for Germany's loss in WWI. Therefore, you can make any kind of fun of them you want.
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Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy.
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You've got to understand, people are motivated by fun. And they should be.