P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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I arrived in the middle of a press conference - as boring a thing to sit through if you don't know the language as it is if you do.
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I like Michael Moore, but I think of him more as a rabble-rouser. On his TV show, when he went to the home of the guy who invented the car alarm and set off all the car alarms on the block... pretty funny.
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People who are wise, good, smart, skillful, or hardworking don't need politics, they have jobs.
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I look around my house, and everything except the kids and dogs was made in China. And I'm not sure about the kids. They have brown eyes and small noses.
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Disney's Tomorrowland is deeply, thoroughly, almost furiously unimaginative.
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The old woman was not only ugly with the ugliness age brings us all but showed signs of formidable ugliness by birth - pickle-jar chin, mainsail ears and a nose like a trigonometry problem. What's more, she had the deep frown and snit wrinkles that come from a lifetime of bad character.
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There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.
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More modern poetry is written than read.
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Children must be considered in a divorce considered valuable pawns in the nasty legal and financial contest that is about to ensue.
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Teasing and a sense of humor, if you can develop that in your kids, and if you can exercise it with the kids, just makes for a pleasanter atmosphere.
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Mikhail Gorbachev was the Jimmy Carter of the Communist bloc. The Russians hate him.
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In its worse forms, conservatism is a matter of 'I hate strangers and anything that's different.'
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If we were to inspect ourselves or members of our family and our friends, we would see that we don't really have to go all the way overseas to be mystified - we can be mystified right at home.
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Anyhow, all mankind's ideas and interests, all human aims and motives, are exhibited, fully formed, in a three-year-old child. The kid is just operating on a smaller scale and lacks the advantage of having made enormous soft-money campaign contributions to political candidates.
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Something is worth what somebody will pay for it. Nothing else, nothing more, nothing less.
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You're not a baby boomer if you don't have a visceral recollection of a Kennedy and a King assassination, a Beatles breakup, a U.S. defeat in Vietnam, and a Watergate.
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The Nobel Peace Prize has always been a joke - albeit a grim one. Alfred Bernhard Nobel famously invented dynamite and felt sorry about it.
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It could be that all awful dictators are frustrated artists - Mao with his poetry and Mussolini with his monuments. Stalin was once a journalistic hack, and I can personally testify to how frustrated they are. Pol Pot left a very edgy photo collection behind. And Osama seems quite interested in video.
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I have no idea if some societies, anthropologically speaking, aren't really suited for democracy. I don't think that's true.
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You can't get rid of poverty by giving people money.
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I am a student of stupidity. I am a political reporter.
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Government is a health hazard. Governments have killed many more people than cigarettes or unbuckled seat belts ever have.
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America gives every appearance of being a nation besotted with trashiness - divorce, illegitimacy, casual Fridays.
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The great apologist has to have lived large and wild. If he's going to kiss the world's boo-boos and make up, he'd better plant some bruises first. A master apologizer has to be a Lord Byron, a Rick in Casablanca, a Lee Atwater, anyway.