P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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We had a choice between Democrats who couldn't learn from the past and Republicans who couldn't stop living in it.
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No industry in living memory has collapsed faster than daily print journalism.
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The difference between corporations and governments is governments have a monopoly on force. It's a lot easier to vote with your feet or your wallet than it is to change a government with your vote.
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Never wear anything that panics the cat.
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I arrived in the middle of a press conference - as boring a thing to sit through if you don't know the language as it is if you do.
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Corporate corruption has ecological merits. It's helping to preserve that species known as Democrats - thought to be endangered as recently as the year 2000.
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Some jobs are worse than actual wives. Ad agency vs. Matrimony, for instance: Even the most capricious and demanding spouse is not going to divorce you for refusing to spend forty hours a week making up lies about toilet paper.
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If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.
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You're not a baby boomer if you don't have a visceral recollection of a Kennedy and a King assassination, a Beatles breakup, a U.S. defeat in Vietnam, and a Watergate.
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Stupid is a great force in human affairs.
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Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.
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No humorist is under any obligation to provide answers and probably if you were to delve into the literary history of humour it's probably all about not providing answers because the humorist essentially says: this is the way things are.
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Maybe a vague president and an incompetent and somewhat corrupt administration is what the nation needs.
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Positive rights are the right to shelter, the right to education, the right to health care, the right to a living wage. These things are - these are, I would call them, more properly, political rights rather than positive rights. And they are extremely tricky, because now we are dealing with things that are zero sum.
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Mikhail Gorbachev was the Jimmy Carter of the Communist bloc. The Russians hate him.
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There are a number of Americans who shouldn't vote. The number is 57 percent, to judge by the combined total of Clinton and Perot ballots in the 1996 presidential election.
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I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes.
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I think it's always easy to be sympathetic to parts of the government in detail; in their concrete manifestations. Because obviously, we don't have government for no reason.
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We did not become libertarians because we are altruists.
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Man developed in Africa. He has not continued to do so there.
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Children must be considered in a divorce considered valuable pawns in the nasty legal and financial contest that is about to ensue.
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Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs.
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I am a student of stupidity. I am a political reporter.
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I look around my house, and everything except the kids and dogs was made in China. And I'm not sure about the kids. They have brown eyes and small noses.