P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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The old woman was not only ugly with the ugliness age brings us all but showed signs of formidable ugliness by birth - pickle-jar chin, mainsail ears and a nose like a trigonometry problem. What's more, she had the deep frown and snit wrinkles that come from a lifetime of bad character.
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The Bible is very clear about one thing: Using politics to create fairness is a sin.
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Greatest generation came through some stuff that we can't even imagine - the Depression, World War I - and all they wanted after that was a breather and a calm and a quiet life, and they get us.
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Never wear anything that panics the cat.
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If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.
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Some jobs are worse than actual wives. Ad agency vs. Matrimony, for instance: Even the most capricious and demanding spouse is not going to divorce you for refusing to spend forty hours a week making up lies about toilet paper.
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Only a few good leaders have paused to reflect seriously on being leaders.
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Disney's Tomorrowland is deeply, thoroughly, almost furiously unimaginative.
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Maybe a vague president and an incompetent and somewhat corrupt administration is what the nation needs.
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You're not a baby boomer if you don't have a visceral recollection of a Kennedy and a King assassination, a Beatles breakup, a U.S. defeat in Vietnam, and a Watergate.
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Soldiers are not policemen, and it's very unfair, even for those soldiers who have some police training, to burden them with police duties. It's not what they're trained for, or equipped for.
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Actually, there is no way of making vomiting courteous. You have to do the next best thing, which is to vomit in such a way that the story you tell about it later will be amusing.
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The great apologist has to have lived large and wild. If he's going to kiss the world's boo-boos and make up, he'd better plant some bruises first. A master apologizer has to be a Lord Byron, a Rick in Casablanca, a Lee Atwater, anyway.
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Mikhail Gorbachev was the Jimmy Carter of the Communist bloc. The Russians hate him.
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The number of American presidential candidates varies with the sunspot cycle and the phases of the moon.
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Maybe climate change is a threat, and maybe climate change has been tarted up by climatologists trolling for research grant cash. It doesn't matter.
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Lyndon Johnson faced some clear moral issues.
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Stupid is a great force in human affairs.
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Positive rights are the right to shelter, the right to education, the right to health care, the right to a living wage. These things are - these are, I would call them, more properly, political rights rather than positive rights. And they are extremely tricky, because now we are dealing with things that are zero sum.
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Children must be considered in a divorce considered valuable pawns in the nasty legal and financial contest that is about to ensue.
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I think it's always easy to be sympathetic to parts of the government in detail; in their concrete manifestations. Because obviously, we don't have government for no reason.
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I look around my house, and everything except the kids and dogs was made in China. And I'm not sure about the kids. They have brown eyes and small noses.
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We did not become libertarians because we are altruists.
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No industry in living memory has collapsed faster than daily print journalism.