P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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Whatever the occasion, do not neglect alcohol. No other refreshment will do. Yes, alcohol kills brain cells, but it's very selective. It only kills the brain cells that contain good sense, shame, embarrassment, and restraint.
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I'm old enough to remember when the air over American cities was a lot dirtier than it is now.
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Politics won't allow for the truth.
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Agriculture is a business that has been up to its bib overalls in politics since the first Thanksgiving dinner kickback to the Indians for subsidizing Pilgrim maize production with fish head fertilizer grants.
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Maybe a vague president and an incompetent and somewhat corrupt administration is what the nation needs.
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Of course, no one wants to ban the vote. Voting should remain available for sporting and recreational purposes. But certain types of votes clearly should be curtailed - 'assault votes,' for example, in which the only purpose of the vote is to harm others.
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Politics is the one field you don't age out of.
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All change is bad. But sometimes it has to be done.
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Many reporters, when they go to work in the nation’s capital, begin thinking of themselves as participants in the political process instead of glorified stenographers.
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We need a government, alas, because of the nature of humans.
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You're never going to read 'The Wealth of Nations,' and you shouldn't, really. It's 900 pages.
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If you ask the government to solve all of your problems, it's a bit like asking your wife to cook and clean, to raise the children, to hold down a second job to help with the family finances, to keep her parents happy and well and keep your parents happy and well, and to also - to do the lawn and clean the gutters.
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A careful reading of 50 Simple Things leaves you wondering whether you're going to die from environmental disaster or intellectual annoyance. Failing either, you can worry yourself to death.
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I'm a rather decisive type.
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Infant mortality and life expectancy are reasonable indicators of general well-being in a society.
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The Italians have had two thousand years to fix up the Forum and just look at the place.
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You've got to understand, people are motivated by fun. And they should be.
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Soccer matches should be something special, something people eagerly look forward to, something that brightens life.
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To blame the existence of al Qaeda on poverty like Egypt's is a slur on the poor.
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Preachers at black churches are the last people left in the English-speaking world who know the schemes and tropes of classical rhetoric: parallelism, antithesis, epistrophe, synecdoche, metonymy, periphrasis, litotes - the whole bag of tricks.
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Everybody in the Middle East wants to explain why they're right.
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Why do elites hate the poor? It's xenophobia. They don't know any poor people - except their off-the-books Brazilian nanny and illegal immigrant cleaning lady from Upper Revolta who don't speak English.
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Harvard has been almost as important to the American Jewish community as the pork-sausage industry.
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The Nobel Peace Prize has always been a joke - albeit a grim one. Alfred Bernhard Nobel famously invented dynamite and felt sorry about it.