P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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Politics is the one field you don't age out of.
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A Kindle returns us to the inconvenience of the scroll, except with batteries and electronic glitches. It's as handy as bringing Homer along to recite the 'Iliad' while playing a lyre.
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Soccer matches should be something special, something people eagerly look forward to, something that brightens life.
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Richard Nixon was the best thing that ever happened to journalism. I mean this guy was wonderful. Just when you thought he could get no worse, he got worse.
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Ending wars is very simple if you surrender.
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I'm old enough to remember when the air over American cities was a lot dirtier than it is now.
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What would annoy the most people most often? That is the true left-wing test of government intervention.
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We all know the types who listen to Pete Seeger songs; even Pete admits they aren't interesting.
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Our regulatory bodies strive to create honest dealings, fair trades, and a situation in which no one has an advantage over anyone else. But human beings aren't honest. And all trades are made because one person thinks he's getting the better of the other, and the other person thinks the same.
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Man developed in Africa. He has not continued to do so there.
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You're never going to read 'The Wealth of Nations,' and you shouldn't, really. It's 900 pages.
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A lot of newspaper columns used to be written in a rat-a-tat-tat, fast-paced style - and they tended to be funny. They were a little relief from the grimmer, grayer parts of the newspaper, and one of the best people at doing this was Will Rogers.
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Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife.
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Barack Obama is more irritating than the other nuisances on the Left.
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The killjoys initiated automobile crash standards so rigorous that we can't buy a car that hasn't been dropped from the top of a phone pole with our whole family strapped inside.
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Modern elites live in bubbles of liberal affluence like Ann Arbor, Brookline, the Upper West Side, Palo Alto, or Chevy Chase. These places used to have impoverished neighborhoods nearby, but the poor people got chased out by young singles living in group homes, hipsters, and urban homesteading gay couples.
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Why do elites hate the poor? It's xenophobia. They don't know any poor people - except their off-the-books Brazilian nanny and illegal immigrant cleaning lady from Upper Revolta who don't speak English.
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You've got to understand, people are motivated by fun. And they should be.
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When I left the Lampoon, I went west to try that out, and discovered that I hated it.They were awful people turning out awful product .
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Sometimes the right response to evil is an appeal to powerful and effective social organization - an appeal to civilization itself.
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I knew Hunter Thompson since the '70s, and I loved him, but he would wear me out as I got older.
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Maybe the real secret to America's greatness is that we hate one another.
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In theory, taxes should be like shopping. What I buy is government services. What I pay are my taxes.
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Everybody in America who didn't come over the Bering Strait ice bridge stole his land from somebody else.