-
There isn't much room for an outsider point of view in print any more.
P. J. O'Rourke -
How did an allegedly free people spawn a vast, rampant cuttlefish of dominion with its tentacles in every orifice of the body politic?
P. J. O'Rourke
-
Political leaders are expert at saying nothing.
P. J. O'Rourke -
What would annoy the most people most often? That is the true left-wing test of government intervention.
P. J. O'Rourke -
I knew Hunter Thompson since the '70s, and I loved him, but he would wear me out as I got older.
P. J. O'Rourke -
Californians devised a system of electricity sales that ignored every dimension of the free market.
P. J. O'Rourke -
Jimmy Carter was - he still - he remains to this day America's most ex of ex-presidents. You just can't believe that we elected this doofus. He was a bright enough guy and sort of well-meaning. But he was about as prepared to be president of the United States as your goofy old uncle, you know, the one that memorises baseball statistics.
P. J. O'Rourke -
I'm a political conservative.
P. J. O'Rourke
-
The job of the president of the United States is to talk to the public, is to explain to them. Now, some presidents talk too much, like Bill Clinton. Some presidents try to talk but don't know how, like George Bush senior.
P. J. O'Rourke -
Any random group of thirty Vietnamese women will contain a dozen who make Julia Roberts look like Lyle Lovett.
P. J. O'Rourke -
Thank you, Occupy Wall Street. With your vivid example of anticapitalist squalor, I've been able to convince all three of my children to become investment bankers.
P. J. O'Rourke -
We loved cars until the '70s or so. Then they became appliances. They turned into motorized cup holders. Most of it has to do with urban sprawl. What began as pleasure ends up in necessity, as so many things do.
P. J. O'Rourke -
Until I carried my wife off to New Hampshire, she defined wilderness as the Bronx.
P. J. O'Rourke -
Anyhow, all mankind's ideas and interests, all human aims and motives, are exhibited, fully formed, in a three-year-old child. The kid is just operating on a smaller scale and lacks the advantage of having made enormous soft-money campaign contributions to political candidates.
P. J. O'Rourke
-
I am unboreable in the great outdoors.
P. J. O'Rourke -
Writing is agony. I hate it.
P. J. O'Rourke -
The C student starts a restaurant. The A student writes restaurant reviews.
P. J. O'Rourke -
Voting has proliferated in the United States, and it has reached a point where there is now almost one vote available per citizen over the age of eighteen.
P. J. O'Rourke -
Where self-interest is violently suppressed, it is replaced by a burdensome system of bureaucratic control which dries up the wellsprings of initiative and creativity.
P. J. O'Rourke -
Political systems are run by self-selecting politicians. We don't draft people; it's not jury duty.
P. J. O'Rourke
-
Liberals consider people to be nuisances.
P. J. O'Rourke -
Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope.
P. J. O'Rourke -
There was an austerely dignified award ceremony. By that I mean we had to buy our own drinks - in clear violation of the international journalists'code of truth, fairness and an open bar.
P. J. O'Rourke -
Head lice have their own animal-rights group, or may as well. The National Pediculosis Association doesn't exactly advocate letting lice live with dignity, but it does oppose pediculicidal treatments.
P. J. O'Rourke