P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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Politics won't allow for the truth.
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When you pay a hospital bill, you're really paying two hospital bills - one bill for you because you have a job and/or insurance and can pay the hospital. and another bill, which is tacked onto your bill, to cover the medical expenses of someone who doesn't have a job and/or insurance and can't pay the hospital.
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Some taxpayers may object to a print journalism bailout on the grounds that it mostly benefits the liberal elite. And we can't blame taxpayers for being reluctant to subsidize the reportorial careers of J-school twerps who should have joined the Peace Corps and gone to Africa to 'speak truth to power' to Robert Mugabe.
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We Americans, who invented traffic, are always being startled by the forms into which it has evolved around the world.
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After the events of the 20th century, God, quite reasonably, left Europe. But He's still here in the United States.
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If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat - in other words, turn you into an adult.
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Then Saturday Night Live spawns... well, everything right down to American Pie 9, where all humor has to be irrelevant, which can get a little tiring.
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There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.
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Obama, in pursuit of power, has been as greedy and irresponsible as any Wall Street tycoon in pursuit of money.
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Little islands of human happiness, peace, and prosperity are so exceptional at this point in history that I'm not even sure we can draw lessons from them.
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Governments have monopolies on certain things, like eminent domain and deadly force.
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The problem in Afghanistan is really not so much land as water. It's a dry country with ample amounts of water running through it, but not to good enough effect.
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We will win an election when all the seats in the House and Senate and the chair behind the desk in the Oval Office and the whole bench of the Supreme Court are filled with people who wish they weren't there.
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If death weren't around to 'finalize' the Darwinian process, we'd all still be amoebas.
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Politics is - once in a while - a forum for serious debate about political philosophy.
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Any random group of thirty Vietnamese women will contain a dozen who make Julia Roberts look like Lyle Lovett.
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If I were a congressman who had voted for the American Jobs Creation Act of 2004, I'd claim it was forced on our country by a sinister international organization.
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A penny will not buy a penny postcard or a penny whistle or a single piece of penny candy. It will not even, if you're managing the U.S. Mint, buy a penny.
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I like to have interesting things to write about. And when one says something is 'interesting,' one almost always means 'bad.'
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Each child is biologically required to have a mother. Fatherhood is a well-regarded theory, but motherhood is a fact.
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I have never Twittered or Tweeted or even Chirped.
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I write because I like to make things and the only things I am good at making things with are words.
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A careful reading of 50 Simple Things leaves you wondering whether you're going to die from environmental disaster or intellectual annoyance. Failing either, you can worry yourself to death.
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The poor are an especially important resource for innovation when they have the bravery and pluck to get out of the poor places in which they're living.