P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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When you pay a hospital bill, you're really paying two hospital bills - one bill for you because you have a job and/or insurance and can pay the hospital. and another bill, which is tacked onto your bill, to cover the medical expenses of someone who doesn't have a job and/or insurance and can't pay the hospital.
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You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going.
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Politics is - once in a while - a forum for serious debate about political philosophy.
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Philosophy was once considered science.
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Writing is agony. I hate it.
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America is the world's policeman, all right -- a big, dumb, mick flatfoot in the middle of the one thing cops dread most, a "domestic disturbance.
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Then Saturday Night Live spawns... well, everything right down to American Pie 9, where all humor has to be irrelevant, which can get a little tiring.
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When you're a war correspondent, the reader is for you because the reader is saying, 'Gee, I wouldn't want to be doing that.' They're on your side.
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Infant mortality and life expectancy are reasonable indicators of general well-being in a society.
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America's grossly unfair tax system won't lead to class war. Or, if it does, the war will be brief.
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Any random group of thirty Vietnamese women will contain a dozen who make Julia Roberts look like Lyle Lovett.
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I have never Twittered or Tweeted or even Chirped.
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If I were a congressman who had voted for the American Jobs Creation Act of 2004, I'd claim it was forced on our country by a sinister international organization.
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Social Security is a government program with a constituency made up of the old, the near old and those who hope or fear to grow old. After 215 years of trying, we have finally discovered a special interest that includes 100 percent of the population. Now we can vote ourselves rich.
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I'm a political conservative.
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Harvard is the home of American ideas.
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A penny will not buy a penny postcard or a penny whistle or a single piece of penny candy. It will not even, if you're managing the U.S. Mint, buy a penny.
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The bar is set pretty low if you want to be a hip, accessible conservative.
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Each child is biologically required to have a mother. Fatherhood is a well-regarded theory, but motherhood is a fact.
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If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat - in other words, turn you into an adult.
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Politics won't allow for the truth.
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There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.
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Obama, in pursuit of power, has been as greedy and irresponsible as any Wall Street tycoon in pursuit of money.
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Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.