P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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The neo-hippie-dips, the sentimentality-crazed iguana anthropomorphizers, the Chicken Littles, the three-bong-hit William Blakes- thank God these people don't actually go outdoors much, or the environment would be even worse than it is already.
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Harvard is the home of American ideas.
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In Toledo, people grow out. Out to the suburbs. Out to the parts of America where the economy is more vigorous. And all too often, out to 48-inch waistbands.
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There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences.
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I think it's been hard for people to understand how Islam can be a good religion, and yet the Islamists are evil. Those of us who have had experience with Islam understand this, just as we understand the difference between snake handlers and people going to church on Sunday morning.
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Wealth is not a pizza, where if I have too many slices you have to eat the Domino's box.
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Obama, in pursuit of power, has been as greedy and irresponsible as any Wall Street tycoon in pursuit of money.
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There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.
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Politics won't allow for the truth.
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Satire doesn't effect change.
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One thing talk can't accomplish is communication. This is because everybody's talking too much to pay attention to what anyone is saying
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Governments have monopolies on certain things, like eminent domain and deadly force.
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A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative. Then you can not only be nothing, you can do nothing too.
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Everybody in the Middle East wants to explain why they're right.
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Each child is biologically required to have a mother. Fatherhood is a well-regarded theory, but motherhood is a fact.
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We need a government, alas, because of the nature of humans.
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Children live in the only successful Marxist state ever created: the family. 'From each according to his ability, to each according to his need' is the family's practice as well as its theory. Even with today's scattershot patterns of marriage and parenting, a family is collectivist to a more than North Korean degree.
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There was an austerely dignified award ceremony. By that I mean we had to buy our own drinks - in clear violation of the international journalists'code of truth, fairness and an open bar.
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A careful reading of 50 Simple Things leaves you wondering whether you're going to die from environmental disaster or intellectual annoyance. Failing either, you can worry yourself to death.
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People are not ants or bees. We do not reason or love or live or die collectively.
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I like to have interesting things to write about. And when one says something is 'interesting,' one almost always means 'bad.'
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Will Generation X and the Millennials do a better job running the world than the boomers have? Let's hope so.
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Some taxpayers may object to a print journalism bailout on the grounds that it mostly benefits the liberal elite. And we can't blame taxpayers for being reluctant to subsidize the reportorial careers of J-school twerps who should have joined the Peace Corps and gone to Africa to 'speak truth to power' to Robert Mugabe.
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Raining on parades requires no skill or effort on the part of a politician.