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Tel Aviv is new, built on the sand dunes north of Jaffa in the 1890s, about the same time Miami was founded. The cities bear a resemblance in size, site, climate, and architecture, which ranges from the bland to the fancifully bland.
P. J. O'Rourke
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Death is so important that God visited death upon his own son, thereby helping us learn right from wrong well enough that we may escape death forever and live eternally in God's grace.
P. J. O'Rourke
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College professors used to be badly paid and worth it. Colleges used to be modest institutions; they should go back to being modest institutions.
P. J. O'Rourke
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Satire doesn't effect change.
P. J. O'Rourke
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The Italians have had two thousand years to fix up the Forum and just look at the place.
P. J. O'Rourke
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I understand Twitter has become popular among politicians. This technology allows them to stay in perpetual contact with their constituents. The electorate now has instant information about what politicians have been up to.
P. J. O'Rourke
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Kids are disorganized.
P. J. O'Rourke
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Despite the fact that meat is made from dead animals, it shouldn't smell that way. Try this test for meat freshness: close your eyes and see if you can tell the pork chops from a gym locker.
P. J. O'Rourke
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Affirmative action makes employers think, 'Black woman nuclear physicist? Hah! Probably let her into Harvard 'cause they were looking for a twofer. Bet she got C's in high school practical math. Give her a job in personnel.'
P. J. O'Rourke
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In Toledo, people grow out. Out to the suburbs. Out to the parts of America where the economy is more vigorous. And all too often, out to 48-inch waistbands.
P. J. O'Rourke
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Pollution is a problem, and there's the whole problem of the spoiling of the commons, but we've addressed the pollution problem on a variety of different levels in a variety of ways, and it's worked pretty well.
P. J. O'Rourke
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The words 'Space Age' have a quaint, nostalgic tone - sitting on midcentury modern furniture watching 'The Jetsons.'
P. J. O'Rourke
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Term limits aren't enough. We need jail.
P. J. O'Rourke
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The America's Cup is like driving your Lamborghini to the Grand Prix track to watch the charter buses race.
P. J. O'Rourke
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Banning paper and plastic and making shoppers carry their groceries home in their mouths like dogs is just the thing to make a little tin humanist in the Obama West Wing think he's admiral of the Uzbek Navy.
P. J. O'Rourke
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At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying whole wide world.
P. J. O'Rourke
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Freddie Aguilar, who's billed as 'the Bob Dylan of the Philippines.' This is unfair, since he's good-looking, plays the guitar well, can carry a tune, and writes songs that make sense.
P. J. O'Rourke
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America is not a wily, sneaky nation. We don't think that way. We don't think much at all, thank God.
P. J. O'Rourke
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In midlife, we're as dumb as we get.
P. J. O'Rourke
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Bill Clinton is not a hypocrite. If a man believes that it is just and moral to redistribute wealth, there is nothing hypocritical in his attempts to redistribute some of that wealth to himself.
P. J. O'Rourke
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That happy sense of purpose people have when standing up for a principle they haven't really been knocked down for yet.
P. J. O'Rourke
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I'm too tough and sensitive to have to have some pubescent twerp with his mom's earring in his tongue, who combs his hair with Redi-Whip and has an Ani DiFranco tattoo on his shin, come show me how a computer works.
P. J. O'Rourke
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This country is so urbanized we think low-fat milk comes from cows on Nutri/System weight-loss plans.
P. J. O'Rourke
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There was also a hunger strike in front of the National Press Club, which seemed an odd place to have a hunger strike (a cocktail fast, maybe). Although the Bangladeshis were savvy enough to know to know that if you're going to pester journalists, don't go to where they work: You'll never find them there.
P. J. O'Rourke
