P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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Earnestness is stupidity sent to college.
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The problem with public school is not overcrowding in the classroom. The problem is not teacher unions. The problem is not underfunding or lack of computer equipment. The problem is your damn kids.
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I was very much in favor of the Iraq invasion.
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We will win an election when all the seats in the House and Senate and the chair behind the desk in the Oval Office and the whole bench of the Supreme Court are filled with people who wish they weren't there.
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If there are three words that need to be used more in American journalism, commentary, politics, personal life... it's the magic words 'I don't know.'
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I write because I like to make things and the only things I am good at making things with are words.
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I think that humor has become a principle means of communication among Americans about politics.
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Mistreatment of al Qaeda members and their friends and hangers-on is something I number among my moral concerns. But it's number 1,000,000,001.
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Public schools helped create the idea of America and inculcate Americans with a few rudiments of knowledge. To judge by that very American item, the Internet, a few rudiments is all anyone cares to have.
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El Salvador has the scenery of northern California and the climate of southern California plus - and this was a relief - no Californians.
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The one thing that's terrible about traveling for fun is writing about it.
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As a former writer for the 'National Lampoon,' I've probably contributed to the sea of sarcasm in which we live.
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Just because a subject is serious doesn't mean it doesn't have plenty of absurdities.
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A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.
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Politics are for foreigners with their endless wrongs and paltry rights. Politics are a lousy way to get things done. Politics are, like God's infinite mercy, a last resort.
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I usually agree with Rush Limbaugh; therefore I usually don't listen to him.
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The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and we can fix that."
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Obama's space policy doesn't differ much from George W. Bush's.
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In Toledo, people grow out. Out to the suburbs. Out to the parts of America where the economy is more vigorous. And all too often, out to 48-inch waistbands.
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My life would have gone along perfectly well, politically speaking, if it hadn't been for girls.
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There are two factors in American politics that may seem strange to Europeans: race and religion.
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Fiscal conservatism is just an easy way to express something that is a bit more difficult, which is that the size and scope of government, and really the size and scope of politics in our lives, has grown uncomfortable, unwieldy, intrusive and inefficient.
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There is no horizon in Toledo. There are too many trees.
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Toledo is better than exciting, it's happy. Because nothing is more conducive to unhappiness than taking yourself seriously, and taking yourself seriously is difficult when you're baseball team is the Mud Hens.