P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
-
The interesting thing about staring down a gun barrel is how small the hole is where the bullet comes out, yet what a big difference it would make in your social schedule.
-
My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny.
-
I'm fascinated by political enthusiasm.
-
Jeans fit the mature male one of two ways, both dirigible in nature. You make a public impression that's either Hindenburg or Goodyear blimp.
-
The good thing about SUVs is they have storage.
-
El Salvador has the scenery of northern California and the climate of southern California plus - and this was a relief - no Californians.
-
Our earliest evidence of government, in the ruins of Babylon and Egypt, shows nothing but ziggurats and pyramids of wasted taxpayer money, the TARP funds and shovel-ready stimulus programs of their day.
-
You can't destroy America by destroying our elite. Think about America's elite. Think about it down through history. Destroy our elite, and about half the time, you're doing us a favor.
-
Inside every Sancho Panza there's a Don Quixote struggling to get out.
-
The purpose of sports - even foreign sports - is not to bore people.
-
Just because a subject is serious doesn't mean it doesn't have plenty of absurdities.
-
Dates used to be made days or even weeks in advance. Now dates tend to be made the day after. That is, you get a phone call from someone who says, "If anyone asks, I was out to dinner with you last night, okay?"
-
When the government runs out of lenders, it can do something that households are forbidden to do: print money.
-
You can learn all about the human condition from covering the crime beat in a big city - you don't need to go to Beirut for that - but a foreign correspondent begins to understand poverty from a different perspective.
-
For decades in America, there has been an effort to ensure that the rights of those who are not sane are the same as the rights of those who are.
-
If there are three words that need to be used more in American journalism, commentary, politics, personal life... it's the magic words 'I don't know.'
-
There are two factors in American politics that may seem strange to Europeans: race and religion.
-
Marijuana is … self-punishing. It makes you acutely sensitive and in this world, what worse punishment could there be?
-
Liberals consider people to be nuisances.
-
As a longtime former resident of 15 years in Washington, I wish that everybody would stay off the Mall with their political cause so that we can get out there, you know, and play flag football or Frisbee, or walk the dog or something - you know, which is, you know, what the National Mall should be for, in my personal opinion.
-
I like to do my principal research in bars, where people are more likely to tell the truth or, at least, lie less convincingly than they do in briefings and books.
-
Democrats hate America being a world power because world power gives power to the nation instead of to Democrats.
-
Some people think that welfare reform should have hurt Bill Clinton with black voters.
-
Everybody with a gun has a checkpoint in Lebanon. And in Lebanon, you'd be crazy not to have a gun. Though, I assure you, all the crazy people have guns, too.