P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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Even a band of angels can turn ugly and start looting if enough angels are unemployed and hanging around the Pearly Gates convinced that all the succubi own all the liquor stores in Heaven.
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You can't destroy America by destroying our elite. Think about America's elite. Think about it down through history. Destroy our elite, and about half the time, you're doing us a favor.
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Some people think that welfare reform should have hurt Bill Clinton with black voters.
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Will Generation X and the Millennials do a better job running the world than the boomers have? Let's hope so.
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For decades in America, there has been an effort to ensure that the rights of those who are not sane are the same as the rights of those who are.
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I was very much in favor of the Iraq invasion.
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As a former writer for the 'National Lampoon,' I've probably contributed to the sea of sarcasm in which we live.
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Liberals are always proposing perfectly insane ideas, laws that will make everybody happy, laws that will make everything right, make us live forever, and all be rich. Conservatives are never that stupid.
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The people who despise America are the editors of the 'New Statesman.' Their green-card applications must have been turned down.
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In midlife, we're as dumb as we get.
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Creative writing teachers should be purged until every last instructor who has uttered the words 'Write what you know' is confined to a labor camp. Please, talented scribblers, write what you don't. The blind guy with the funny little harp who composed The Iliad, how much combat do you think he saw?
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We will win an election when all the seats in the House and Senate and the chair behind the desk in the Oval Office and the whole bench of the Supreme Court are filled with people who wish they weren't there.
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I guess the argument of contextuality is that anything is okay as long as it's done by people who are sufficiently unlike you.
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If it were not for government regulation of big corporations, executives at companies like Enron, WorldCom, Tyco, they could have cheated investors out of millions.
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The good thing about SUVs is they have storage.
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The real purpose of welfare is to get rid of poor people entirely. Everybody knows welfare has bad effects; that's the point.
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It had never occurred to us that the Kremlin's new anti-booze campaign would apply to journalists. Now, that's a human-rights violation.
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Politics is - once in a while - a forum for serious debate about political philosophy.
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Mistreatment of al Qaeda members and their friends and hangers-on is something I number among my moral concerns. But it's number 1,000,000,001.
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I think Michael O'Donoghue felt he'd said what he wanted to say. In fact, nobody thought we could spin it out long enough to make a book.
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Bill Maher can be pretty good, except when he gets "important." Maher's all over the place politically.
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A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.
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I like making things. I have a wood shop at home. I am a terrible carpenter but I love doing it.
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The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person.