P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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Satire doesn't effect change.
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Everything on a boat has a different name than it would have if it weren't on a boat. Either this is ancient seafaring tradition or it's how people who mess around with boats try to impress the rest of us who actually finished college.
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America is a meritocracy.
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I guess the argument of contextuality is that anything is okay as long as it's done by people who are sufficiently unlike you.
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Bill Maher can be pretty good, except when he gets "important." Maher's all over the place politically.
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In midlife, we're as dumb as we get.
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The people who despise America are the editors of the 'New Statesman.' Their green-card applications must have been turned down.
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Tom DeLay may or may not have broken campaign finance laws, but he did his best to look like he was breaking them.
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The purpose of sports - even foreign sports - is not to bore people.
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Inside every Sancho Panza there's a Don Quixote struggling to get out.
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People will tell you anything but what they do is always the truth.
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The good thing about SUVs is they have storage.
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I don't watch much television.
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When I board an airplane these days, all the middle-aged men are dressed like me - when I was an 8-year-old. They're in shorts and T-shirts. And it's not just on airplanes. It's in business offices, teachers' lounges, and churches.
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America is not a wily, sneaky nation. We don't think that way. We don't think much at all, thank God.
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Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such an excellent banjo player that you almost don't wish you had a pair of wire cutters.
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Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living.
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Even a band of angels can turn ugly and start looting if enough angels are unemployed and hanging around the Pearly Gates convinced that all the succubi own all the liquor stores in Heaven.
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I spent a lot of time behind the Iron Curtain, and their cars were abysmal.
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I think the Baby Boom does have a tendency to get its nose in everything. The Greatest Generation had a better tendency to leave people alone. Of course, they also had a better tendency to hate everybody's guts.
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Lack of romance is my real objection to writing on a computer.
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For decades in America, there has been an effort to ensure that the rights of those who are not sane are the same as the rights of those who are.
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The subculture of felons is in great vogue among adolescents. Enron, WorldCom, Tyco, and so forth allow us Republicans to say to America's young people, 'We be thugs.' The GOP may capture the youth vote at last.
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Being gloomy is easier than being cheerful. Anybody can say 'I've got cancer' and get a rise out of a crowd. But how many of us can do five minutes of good stand-up comedy?