P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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I was very much in favor of the Iraq invasion.
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The good thing about SUVs is they have storage.
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America's public schools have served their purpose. Free and compulsory education was good for a somewhat unpromising young nation.
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Inside every Sancho Panza there's a Don Quixote struggling to get out.
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Just because a subject is serious doesn't mean it doesn't have plenty of absurdities.
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Toledo is better than exciting, it's happy. Because nothing is more conducive to unhappiness than taking yourself seriously, and taking yourself seriously is difficult when you're baseball team is the Mud Hens.
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In Western Australia they don't even know how to make that vital piece of sailing-boat equipment, the gin and tonic.
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If you talk to most businessmen, they'll say that what they do is for the public good, but you know they're just greedy, and consumers are just consuming for the sake of their own greed.
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Fiscal conservatism is just an easy way to express something that is a bit more difficult, which is that the size and scope of government, and really the size and scope of politics in our lives, has grown uncomfortable, unwieldy, intrusive and inefficient.
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You can learn all about the human condition from covering the crime beat in a big city - you don't need to go to Beirut for that - but a foreign correspondent begins to understand poverty from a different perspective.
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My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny.
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I usually agree with Rush Limbaugh; therefore I usually don't listen to him.
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Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living.
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The real purpose of welfare is to get rid of poor people entirely. Everybody knows welfare has bad effects; that's the point.
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There are two factors in American politics that may seem strange to Europeans: race and religion.
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A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.
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Marijuana is … self-punishing. It makes you acutely sensitive and in this world, what worse punishment could there be?
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Dates used to be made days or even weeks in advance. Now dates tend to be made the day after. That is, you get a phone call from someone who says, "If anyone asks, I was out to dinner with you last night, okay?"
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Mistreatment of al Qaeda members and their friends and hangers-on is something I number among my moral concerns. But it's number 1,000,000,001.
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I grew up going to public school, and they were huge public schools. I went to a school that had 3,200 kids, and I had grade school classes with 40-some kids. Discipline was rigid. Most of the learning was rote. It worked.
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You can keep the dining room clean by eating in the kitchen.
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I think the Baby Boom has enjoyed itself, maybe sometimes a little too much, and we're continuing to enjoy ourselves, maybe a little too much.
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In the language of politics, there is only one translation for the phrase 'hope and change,' to wit: 'big, fat government.'
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The one thing that's terrible about traveling for fun is writing about it.