-
Detroit is beautiful - though you probably have to be a child of the industrial Midwest, like me, to see it.
P. J. O'Rourke
-
There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon.
P. J. O'Rourke
-
Israel is slightly smaller than New Jersey. Moses in effect led the tribes of Israel out of the District of Columbia, parted Chesapeake Bay near Annapolis, and wandered for forty years in Delaware.
P. J. O'Rourke
-
The interesting thing about staring down a gun barrel is how small the hole is where the bullet comes out, yet what a big difference it would make in your social schedule.
P. J. O'Rourke
-
There are just two rules of governance in a free society: Mind your own business. Keep your hands to yourself. Keep your hands to yourself, Bill. Hillary, mind your own business.
P. J. O'Rourke
-
My wife and I both come from Irish families. There are two kinds of Irish families: the hitting kind and the kidding kind. If you're fortunate - and both of us are - you come from the kidding kind of Irish family.
P. J. O'Rourke
-
There are two factors in American politics that may seem strange to Europeans: race and religion.
P. J. O'Rourke
-
The divorce rate in 1946 was higher than it ever had been and as high as it ever would be until the '70s. The reason was that prior relationships had not endured the strain of war.
P. J. O'Rourke
-
Just because a subject is serious doesn't mean it doesn't have plenty of absurdities.
P. J. O'Rourke
-
Adam Smith pointed out that there were three things that make us more prosperous, in a general sort of way: freedom to pursue our own self-interest; specialization, which he called division of labor; and freedom of trade.
P. J. O'Rourke
-
You can learn all about the human condition from covering the crime beat in a big city - you don't need to go to Beirut for that - but a foreign correspondent begins to understand poverty from a different perspective.
P. J. O'Rourke
-
No government proposal more complicated than 'This note is legal tender for all debts, public and private' ever works.
P. J. O'Rourke
-
The foundation of collectivism is simple: There should be no important economic differences among people. No one should be too rich.
P. J. O'Rourke
-
The more aspects of life that can be moved from private reign to public realm, the better it is for politics.
P. J. O'Rourke
-
Biotechnology is a worry. What if they take genetic material from wet noodles and blowfish and splice it into politician chromosomes and create a Clinton administration?
P. J. O'Rourke
-
I spent a lot of time behind the Iron Curtain, and their cars were abysmal.
P. J. O'Rourke
-
I rarely meet a politician that I don't like personally. They are generally well endowed with charm. Therein lies the danger.
P. J. O'Rourke
-
Toledo is better than exciting, it's happy. Because nothing is more conducive to unhappiness than taking yourself seriously, and taking yourself seriously is difficult when you're baseball team is the Mud Hens.
P. J. O'Rourke
-
You can keep the dining room clean by eating in the kitchen.
P. J. O'Rourke
-
I think the Baby Boom does have a tendency to get its nose in everything. The Greatest Generation had a better tendency to leave people alone. Of course, they also had a better tendency to hate everybody's guts.
P. J. O'Rourke
-
Freddie Aguilar, who's billed as 'the Bob Dylan of the Philippines.' This is unfair, since he's good-looking, plays the guitar well, can carry a tune, and writes songs that make sense.
P. J. O'Rourke
-
The one thing that's terrible about traveling for fun is writing about it.
P. J. O'Rourke
-
When I was fifteen, I dreamed of living in the big city, as many a young person does if he is artistic and sensitive. By 'artistic and sensitive' I mean short, skinny, unkissed, bad at sports, and carrying a C average in high school.
P. J. O'Rourke
-
This country is so urbanized we think low-fat milk comes from cows on Nutri/System weight-loss plans.
P. J. O'Rourke
