-
The subculture of felons is in great vogue among adolescents. Enron, WorldCom, Tyco, and so forth allow us Republicans to say to America's young people, 'We be thugs.' The GOP may capture the youth vote at last.
P. J. O'Rourke
-
When I was fifteen, I dreamed of living in the big city, as many a young person does if he is artistic and sensitive. By 'artistic and sensitive' I mean short, skinny, unkissed, bad at sports, and carrying a C average in high school.
P. J. O'Rourke
-
Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
P. J. O'Rourke
-
This country is so urbanized we think low-fat milk comes from cows on Nutri/System weight-loss plans.
P. J. O'Rourke
-
People will tell you anything but what they do is always the truth.
P. J. O'Rourke
-
After all, what is your host's purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi.
P. J. O'Rourke
-
I like to argue with the radio.
P. J. O'Rourke
-
The idea of a stag hunt evokes chivalry - knights in jerkins and hose, ladies on sidesaddles with wimples and billowing dresses, a white stag symbolizing something-or-other, and Robin Hood getting in the way. An actual stag hunt is more like a horseback meeting of a county planning commission.
P. J. O'Rourke
-
Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living.
P. J. O'Rourke
-
Sheep farming is heavily subsidized in Great Britain. Without the subsidies, the green grazing in the valley of the River Exe would be gone. The handsome agricultural landscape of which the British are so proud, carefully husbanded since Boudicca's day, would be replaced by natural growth. The most likely growth is real-estate developments.
P. J. O'Rourke
-
I'm here as a radio journalist but am not even sure which part of a tape recorder takes the pictures.
P. J. O'Rourke
-
You can't destroy America by destroying our elite. Think about America's elite. Think about it down through history. Destroy our elite, and about half the time, you're doing us a favor.
P. J. O'Rourke
-
I like to do my principal research in bars, where people are more likely to tell the truth or, at least, lie less convincingly than they do in briefings and books.
P. J. O'Rourke
-
Any person who has spent time outdoors actually doing something, such as hunting and fishing as opposed to standing there with a doobie in his mouth, knows nature is not intrinsically healthy.
P. J. O'Rourke
-
The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person.
P. J. O'Rourke
-
Politics is the attempt to achieve power and prestige without merit.
P. J. O'Rourke
-
There are two organizations pushing for change in November - al Qaeda and the Democratic party. And they both have the same message: 'We're going to fix you, America.' On the whole, the terrorists have a more straightforward plan for fixing things. They're going to blow themselves up. Although, come to think of it, Howard Dean did that.
P. J. O'Rourke
-
I don't think anybody's really been successful with theorizing about value or creating a price theory.
P. J. O'Rourke
-
America's public schools have served their purpose. Free and compulsory education was good for a somewhat unpromising young nation.
P. J. O'Rourke
-
On inspection, Gaudi's architecture isn't whimsical at all.
P. J. O'Rourke
-
I can understand why mankind hasn't given up war. During a war you get to drive tanks through the sides of buildings and shoot foreigners- two things that are usually frowned on during peacetime.
P. J. O'Rourke
-
Northwest Ohio is flat. There isn't much up. The land is so flat that a child from Toledo is under the impression that the direction hills go is down. Sledding is done down from street level into creek beds and road cuts.
P. J. O'Rourke
-
I think the Baby Boom has enjoyed itself, maybe sometimes a little too much, and we're continuing to enjoy ourselves, maybe a little too much.
P. J. O'Rourke
-
I covered the Lebanese civil war. I could see a place that had once been prosperous and now was impoverished. I'm not seeing that in America.
P. J. O'Rourke
