P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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Imagine having journalists in your own home and not even covering the furniture with plastic sheets first.
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I myself am a parent in a small business. Number of employees: one.
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In Western Australia they don't even know how to make that vital piece of sailing-boat equipment, the gin and tonic.
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Dates used to be made days or even weeks in advance. Now dates tend to be made the day after. That is, you get a phone call from someone who says, "If anyone asks, I was out to dinner with you last night, okay?"
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Who, other than a crazy person, does anything besides hang up on a robo-call? Any call, any person, anywhere, under any circumstances.
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Moviemakers are rewarded with tax write-offs if, when seeking a location that looks like America, they seek it in America.
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I come from Toledo, Ohio, a town that has been hurt badly by the shift of the automobile business towards Japan. And yet I remember how the car workers lived in the neighborhood that I grew up in. My father was a car salesman, and I remember how we lived. I remember how modestly we lived.
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The world is being run by irresponsible spoiled brats.
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Because of their cuisine, Germans don't consider farting rude. They'd certainly be out of luck if they did.
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Mike had called me and said he could offer me less, and I said, "You're on!" Because I was really excited with what Mike Kelly was doing, and now what Cullen Murphy is doing with Atlantic. It's a really cool magazine.
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If we heard that somebody starved to death in Sweden or Switzerland, we would be shocked.
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Predicting innovation is something of a self-canceling exercise: the most probable innovations are probably the least innovative.
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It was to be a short visit for the G-shevs. More than four days in the U.S. and Raisa's VISA card bill would shatter the fragile Soviet economy.
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America wasn't founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased.
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There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at Christmastime. Mature, responsible grown men wear neckties made of holly leaves and drink alcoholic beverages with raw egg yolks and cottage cheese in them.
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There was also a hunger strike in front of the National Press Club, which seemed an odd place to have a hunger strike (a cocktail fast, maybe). Although the Bangladeshis were savvy enough to know to know that if you're going to pester journalists, don't go to where they work: You'll never find them there.
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Anyone who thinks he has a better idea of what's good for people than people do is a swine.
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The beauty of democracy is that an average, random, unremarkable citizen can lead it.
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A person has got to balance work and life and family in order to be a balanced person.
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Liberals have a quaint and touching faith that truth is on their side and an even quainter faith that journalists are on the side of truth.
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I grew up going to public school, and they were huge public schools. I went to a school that had 3,200 kids, and I had grade school classes with 40-some kids. Discipline was rigid. Most of the learning was rote. It worked.
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War is a great asshole magnet.
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Any trade that is voluntarily made is mutually beneficial, by definition, and, indeed, is balanced, by definition.
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The idea of a stag hunt evokes chivalry - knights in jerkins and hose, ladies on sidesaddles with wimples and billowing dresses, a white stag symbolizing something-or-other, and Robin Hood getting in the way. An actual stag hunt is more like a horseback meeting of a county planning commission.