P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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The bar is set pretty low if you want to be a hip, accessible conservative.
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A penny will not buy a penny postcard or a penny whistle or a single piece of penny candy. It will not even, if you're managing the U.S. Mint, buy a penny.
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I understand Twitter has become popular among politicians. This technology allows them to stay in perpetual contact with their constituents. The electorate now has instant information about what politicians have been up to.
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There's a certain kind of behavior in the Arab world that, to me, resembles the way young men behave when there is no significant influence from women in their lives.
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After all, what is your host's purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi.
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Southern California is a nice place, if you could cut out the show-business cancer. It just keeps spreading.
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College professors used to be badly paid and worth it. Colleges used to be modest institutions; they should go back to being modest institutions.
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My working hypothesis is that stupidity in popular culture is a constant. Popular culture cannot get more stupid.
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Social Security is a government program with a constituency made up of the old, the near old and those who hope or fear to grow old. After 215 years of trying, we have finally discovered a special interest that includes 100 percent of the population. Now we can vote ourselves rich.
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I like to argue with the radio.
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I think it's been hard for people to understand how Islam can be a good religion, and yet the Islamists are evil. Those of us who have had experience with Islam understand this, just as we understand the difference between snake handlers and people going to church on Sunday morning.
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Banning paper and plastic and making shoppers carry their groceries home in their mouths like dogs is just the thing to make a little tin humanist in the Obama West Wing think he's admiral of the Uzbek Navy.
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I like fiction and the kind of history that gives the grace and flavor of fiction to the past. No bloviation on current events, please. I can write that junk myself.
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If a journalist shows a facility for praise he's liable to be offered a job in public relations or advertising and the next thing you know he's got a big office, a huge salary and is living in a fine home with a lovely wife and swell kids - another career blown to hell.
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I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've done as a 'learning experience.' It makes me feel less stupid.
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America's public schools have served their purpose. Free and compulsory education was good for a somewhat unpromising young nation.
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You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going.
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The most futuristic aspect of the House of the Future was that it was made almost entirely of plastic.
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The whole melodrama of the Middle East would be improved if amnesia were as common here as it is in melodramatic plots.
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The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and we can fix that."
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I have never Twittered or Tweeted or even Chirped.
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After the events of the 20th century, God, quite reasonably, left Europe. But He's still here in the United States.
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Most people sort of enjoy going to work because of the socialisation, a chance to flirt with co-workers and so on, but actually hate the job they do.
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Wealth is not a pizza, where if I have too many slices you have to eat the Domino's box.