Weird Al Yankovic (Alfred Matthew "Weird Al" Yankovic) Quotes
So that's why one of my rules of parody writing is that it's gotta be funny regardless of whether you know the source material. It has to work on its own merit.

Quotes to Explore
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Appearance is something absolute, but reality is not that way - everything is interdependent, not absolute. So that view is very helpful to maintain a peace of mind because the main destroyer of a peaceful mind is anger.
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You can't win if you don't play as a unit.
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My short stories have always pushed twenty pages. That's no length for a short story to be. You either do them short like Carver or you stop trying.
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Service to others seems the only intelligent choice for the use of wealth.
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I need to meet people to be able to write.
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I like having a smaller family. I think the more people you have in the family, the more people there are to have problems with.
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I have been running since I was 7. I was trying to restructure the way my body was made instead of trying to master the way I ran. I would get so frustrated with my starts in practices that I would just cry. When I ran, I wouldn't even try to get out of the blocks, I would just run.
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I've been a Dolphin for 17 years, and I'll be a Dolphin for the rest of my life. That will never change.
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I wish that television would stop selling our hatred of ourselves, and start seducing us with our love of ourselves.
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I don't talk in ifs.
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I can change a light fixture, and I can do certain things. But I'm really bad in terms of construction. I can't do any of it on my own.
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Your belief system saturates the space around you.
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Striving to tell his woes, words would not come; For light cares speak, when mighty griefs are dumb.
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If we had this back, and in full measure; if society were infused by it, through and through, and men lived its life, and in its life, philosophy would take care of itself and the nature of our institutions would not matter.
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I think women today are really struggling with these dual roles: How do you have a full-time career and be ambitious and still take care of your family?
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Basically, it's in your best mental interest to release your anger so you can see the world more clearly around you and seek better solutions for finding the happy, love-filled life you desire and deserve.
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Only in a popular war against France... do I see a misfortune.
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I'm not pretending to be ingenuous; I know what I'm doing.
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Instead of the joblessness, instead of the millions forced into part-time work, instead of the millions who’ve lost their health insurance, lost their doctors, have faced skyrocketing health insurance premiums, imagine in 2017 a new president signing legislation repealing every word of Obamacare.
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Sometimes with people their work is the most important thing to them, and sometimes the work enables you to do other things that are more important to you. I probably am closer to that.
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Yes, we become stronger when men and women, young and old, gay and straight, native-born and immigrant fight together to create the kind of country we all know we can become.
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I didn't like anything about myself - my looks, my personality. I was very, very angry.
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Open your newspaper - any day of the week - and you will find a report from somewhere in the world of someone being imprisoned, tortured or executed because his opinions or religion are unacceptable to his government.
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So that's why one of my rules of parody writing is that it's gotta be funny regardless of whether you know the source material. It has to work on its own merit.