Allan Sherman Quotes
-
Adultery - which is the only grounds for divorce in New York - is not grounds for divorce in California. As a matter of fact, adultery in Southern California is grounds for marriage.
-
I have always lived beyond my means. I am still trying to live beyond my means, but it is getting harder all the time. I am very rich.
-
After the Lincoln Hotel people showed their colors by demanding payment, we turned our back on them. We moved out.
-
A committee is a group of individuals who all put in a perfectly good color, and it comes out gray.
-
When they told Missis Cohen that she'd lost her man, She said 'Must you interrupt me when I'm playing 'Pan'?' Then she said to her partner, Missus R. J. Rosen, 'Cohen was a lovely husband, but he's no good frozen.
-
Four times I looked for psychiatric help, and each time I arrived at the inescapable conclusion that the psychiatrist was crazier than I was.
-
They sit there in committees day after day, And they each put in a color and it comes out gray. And we all have heard the saying, which is true as well as witty, That a camel is a horse that was designed by a committee.
-
There's Beatles books and T-shirts and rings, and one thing and another. To buy my daughter all these things, I had to sell her brother.
-
The whole city gives you the impression of impermanence. You have the feeling that one day someone is going to yell, "Cut! Strike it!" and then the stagehands will scurry out and remove the mountains, the movie-star homes, the Hollywood Bowl--everything.
-
Do not make a stingy sandwich; pile the cold cuts high; so you should see salami coming through the rye.
-
Teacher, teacher, I declare, I see your purple underwear.
-
You want to fall in love with a shoe, go ahead. A shoe can't love you back, but, on the other hand, a shoe can't hurt you too deeply either. And there are so many nice-looking shoes.
-
I had moved out of the Edison Hotel because I couldn't pay the bill and was living at the Lincoln Hotel, where I couldn't pay the bill either, but it was cheaper.
-
You may be wondering why I went from over there to over here. Well, that was choreography.
-
Grandma cheated whenever she could. She cheated because it was a much more scientific and surer way of winning than trusting to luck.
-
Anyone who calls it "sexual intercourse" can't possibly be interested in actually doing it. You might as well announce you're ready for lunch by proclaiming, "I'd like to do some masticating and enzyme secreting."
-
A "Normal" person is the sort of person that might be designed by a committee. You know, "Each person puts in a pretty color and it comes out gray."
-
The head coach don't want no sissies, so he reads to us from something called Ulysses.
-
The difference between reality and unreality is that reality has so little to recommend it.
-
In Hollywood if you are not working, you are a leper. True, you are probably living in the most expensive leper colony in the world.
-
Temples also take into consideration an ability to pay and, in a general sense, do not turn people away if there's a need,.
-
Success is like winning the sweepstakes or getting killed in an automobile crash. It always happens to somebody else.
-
I was having trouble making ends meet, and my beginnings weren't meeting either.
-
Love is lovelier the 7th time around.