Margaret Cho Quotes
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I'm very inappropriate, which makes me a problem dinner guest, because at some point during the evening someone inevitably says, 'OK, heh heh heh, OK, too much information! Heh heh heh. Don't go there!' I live there. I bought a house there.
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I didn't know if I was going to mention my period on stage, but then I figured, if Richard Pryor had a period, he would talk about it.
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Lesbians love whale watching! They fuckin love it! THEY LOVE IT MORE THAN PUSSY! It's any sea mammal really. Whales, manatees, dolphins. They go crazy for the dolphins. I don't know what it is- I think it's the blowhole.
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The amount of racism, sexism, homophobia, and hatred in general that lies beneath the surface of the American dream is astounding and serious.
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When your young and hungry and nobody's ever really accepted you because of your color and class, the hurt of your own family having cast you out in the first place still inside you somewhere, you dance hard because there is no other way to live, and when opportunity knocks its more of an abduction than a housecall.
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So they cancelled our show, and gave the time slot to Drew Carey, because he's so skinny.
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I would rather have a gay child. If you have a gay son, you know he's not gonna be shooting up his high school. That would get in the way of yearbook.
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A Korean reporter once asked me, 'Do you think your Korean parents are ashamed because you talk about what you talk about on stage?' I said, 'I don't think they're ashamed because they're Korean. I think any parents would be ashamed.'
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Do I look like a happy-ending to you?
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I am not gonna die because I failed as someone else. I am gonna succeed as myself. And I'm gonna stay here and rock the mike until the next Korean-American, fag hag, shit starter, girl comic, trash talker comes up and takes my place!
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I want morning-after pills more than over the counter; I want morning-after pills with my check at dinner. I want morning-after pills on my hotel pillow when I go to bed at night.
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I think it's very important to feel beautiful. I think it's very political to feel beautiful, especially if you're Queer, because if you're Queer you have to take on the world every single day of your life, so you have to feel beautiful to survive.
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I am super glad about your four-hour erection, but I was wondering, where is the cure for AIDS? (regarding Viagra, Cialis, etc)
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Why do Republicans hate gay marriage so much? They certainly don't hate gay prostitutes.